33. 7 years until 40, at least half of my life done. The moment I feared when I was a depressed teenager is coming, when I look back with nothing but regret. I wonder how I fucked up so much. I've never been stupid, just aimless. What if I become terminal? I've only been happy-ish and optimistic over the last four years. I may say fuck the mortgage and blow my savings on travel until I die. Any advice? Shits keeping me awake at night.