Are kids not that great?

[Cajun]

Ill agree with that. That's a far cry from disagreeing with someone that claims having kids is analogous to getting diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Its because all they know are other peoples kids which you know are much more annoying than the yours lol. You have to be a parent to see how great that experience is. Peeps that speak of it being horrible just dont know. Its an experience you cant explain imo. But again, some peeps shouldnt have kids.

 

[Deleted member 409801]

I do think that kids arent for everyone. And I think people that try to convince them are basing it off of their own experiences. I do believe to each there own here.

Absolutely dude! Just don't expect me to agree with the guy that insist on telling me that the little girl sitting 6 ft away drawing me a picture is a pain in the ass that detracts from my life. Fuck that guy.

 

[shanegotu11]

No, it's because having a kid is the most amazing and therefore potentially terrifying thing in our existence. Itis lifes very purpose.

So to be without child is either choice, ie recognition that you are defective ergo it's kids that are the problem (displacement).

Or, design, therefore kids are terrible rather than face mine own horror (displacement).

And so yes, a bit, because people talking up their kids force the spotlight on the person without and that discomfort forces a defensive response.

Explain deeper. I'm understanding what u mean. But why would they have defensive response?

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Oh no , whatever shall I do to convince you ? Tell me again why what you think matters to me other than the entertainment value of the discourse?

Ill iterate it one more time because you're a little slow , and sometimes it benefits slow people to see things in a condensed format.

Have kids or not , its a personal choice and either one is cool. There really is nothing more to be said on the subject, as the pros and cons are so subjective in nature.

The rub in this case is when some queer ( you ) stumbles in to the discussion and starts running his man pleaser about how much kids suck and that a majority of the people that have them are unhappy and they say otherwise they clearly must be being dishonest ect ect . Naturally someone that's had a different experience would want to correct said queer in his assertion.

Now I realize that I've gotten you all agitated now , " gotten too" I think is what they are calling it these days. So go ahead and tell me again how You've divined this or that about me from our interaction in an attempt to " rustle " me.

Its important to me that you feel that you are doing well here!

I said "kids aren't that great." And even if I said they suck, it's not like there is some objective measure as to whether or not kids are great, so it is of course my opinion. The fact that you are so defensive and insistent that kids are so great tells me all I need to know - that you definitely have second thoughts as to whether or not you should have had kids, and at least part of you is envious of people like me. Notice, nobody else on here was so offended by my very mild opinion that kids aren't that great. It's very telling that you got so worked up about it.

Now, you can either say, "yeah, maybe I overreacted because every parent has moments where they hate their kids." And you can stop talking shit. Or you can continue, at which point I feel I have fulfilled any obligation I had to be polite, and will not be so any longer. It's up to you.

 

[Cajun]

Absolutely dude! Just don't expect me to agree with the guy that insist on telling me that the little girl sitting 6 ft away from drawing me a picture is a pain in the ass that detracts from my life. Fuck that guy.

Agreed. For me, I just found my self at 39 and the prospect of never having them. I had resolved myself to the fact that I would just travel and enjoy my life. Then I met my wife and everything changed. I cant express the love I have for my child and could not have imagined the feeling before having him.

 

[Cajun]

I said "kids aren't that great." And even if I said they suck, it's not like there is some objective measure as to whether or not kids are great, so it is of course my opinion. The fact that you are so defensive and insistent that kids are so great tells me all I need to know - that you definitely have second thoughts as to whether or not you should have had kids, and at least part of you is envious of people like me. Notice, nobody else on here was so offended by my very mild opinion that kids aren't that great. It's very telling that you got so worked up about it.

Now, you can either say, "yeah, maybe I overreacted because every parent has moments where they hate their kids." And you can stop talking shit. Or you can continue, at which point I feel I have fulfilled any obligation I had to be polite, and will not be so any longer. It's up to you.

Well, I would say that other peoples kids arent that great lol. That is the separation. I do support peeps not having them tho. As I mentioned, I thought I was never going to get married (not by choice) and never going to have kids (also not by choice) but I was fine anyway. Life is what you make it and peeps find happiness and fulfillment outside of kids etc. But it is different when you have something that loves you like they do (at least for now).

 

[Deleted member 409801]

I have a a few in my family who never had kids and didn't regret it. You're reaching with some of this shit and attempting to come off as a to each their own type but then turn around and resort to this nonsense.

You don't think most people ever have any what if thoughts ? Id wager that isn't true , its been proven that people are exceedingly good at convincing themselves that they made the right choice once they are locked in to said choice. And yes, I fully realize that it works both ways. I have a hard time buying that deep down most people are not at least really curious what its like to have a healthy relationship with an offspring. Its a fairly deeply ingrained biological impulse.

Non of that is anything other than my opinion and counts for nothing more , so I still adamantly claim to be "to each their own" . What the fuck is it to me what thoughts fill others heads when they stare at the ceiling at night ?

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Well, I would say that other peoples kids arent that great lol. That is the separation. I do support peeps not having them tho. As I mentioned, I thought I was never going to get married (not by choice) and never going to have kids (also not by choice) but I was fine anyway. Life is what you make it and peeps find happiness and fulfillment outside of kids etc. But it is different when you have something that loves you like they do (at least for now).

Getting married is a means to an end. I did the same thing. I wasn't really looking to get married, but women always want to get married. So if you like the one you're with, and want to keep her around, that's what you have to do.

But marriage kind of sucks. I'm not going to lie, I think about the decision I made a lot and whether it was the right one. But it's hard to say because some of the problems would have been there anyway, regardless of whether we got married or not, because being with someone for a long time does that to you.

Overall, my life has improved tremendously. But a lot of that likely would have happened if I wasn't married as well.

 

[Renard]

Mothers and even fathers undergo brain changes at the birth of a child. Which would explain why parents seem to subjectively experience things differently. It's a good thing from an evolutionary perspective of course, it primes them to provide the child the emotional/psychological building it needs.

 

[Phlog]

Explain deeper. I'm understanding what u mean. But why would they have defensive response?

Well, to an extent we define reality internally and while having an internal reality vastly different to the external reality is very troubling (eg paranoid schizophrenia); having a slightly different internal vs external reality can be useful because it is a small price to pay for avoiding a larger price.

That larger price would be acknowledging ones failure. The reason why we have evolved to avoid that acknowledgment is that our internal dialogue is a PR machine that gets us more resources off other social beings. The strong get more resources than the weak, better mate selection etc.

 

[Cajun]

Getting married is a means to an end. I did the same thing. I wasn't really looking to get married, but women always want to get married. So if you like the one you're with, and want to keep her around, that's what you have to do.

But marriage kind of sucks. I'm not going to lie, I think about the decision I made a lot and whether it was the right one. But it's hard to say because some of the problems would have been there anyway, regardless of whether we got married or not, because being with someone for a long time does that to you.

Overall, my life has improved tremendously. But a lot of that likely would have happened if I wasn't married as well.

I hear ya. I got married thinking we werent going to probably have kids. But just turned out differently. Marrying the wrong person is what I avoided for so many years and would rather be alone than in a miserable relationship or marriage. But I have also never loved anyone like I love my wife so it worked out for me. It did give me a travel partner so I enjoy that as well. Life is a crap shoot tho. You never know where you will end up and how decisions impact you down the road. Noone can predict it.

 

[KONG-D'SNT-TAP]

Wrong. If you don't want kids then more power to you if that's what going to make you happy. I love mine but that doesn't mean I think you should have kids. I do spend a fk ton of money on mine ( wrestling, bjj, football) but I wouldn't change a thing. We travel all over for tournaments, camps, and practice and the memories we have doing those things will last forever. As they get older (12 & 14 now)I like just hanging out with them. For me I couldn't imagine not having my boys.

That's great but I notice most married people with kids try talking other sinto being married with kids. Like they're missing out on something.

They can't understand how not everyone is the same

 

[Yellowking]

Like 90% of people that have kids wish they didn't. That's an actual stat. Oh they'll say it's the best shit ever, but it's just thinly held self delusion for survival. They've been screaming inside their mind since that kid was born.

No kids = more money, more time, probably healthier since you have time for the gym, better looking, happier relationship, travel, vacations you actually want to take, boats, etc.

Kids = being embarrassed, not being invited out places, fighting with your S.O., looking forward to dying, tight budgeting, pta meetings, buying them stupid sports gear every year, the worst

 

[Phlog]

Explain deeper. I'm understanding what u mean. But why would they have defensive response?

Well, to an extent we define reality internally and while having an internal reality vastly different to the external reality is very troubling (eg paranoid schizophrenia); having a slightly different internal vs external reality can be useful because it is a small price to pay for avoiding a larger price.

That larger price would be acknowledging ones failure. The reason why we have evolved to avoid that acknowledgment is that our internal dialogue is a PR machine that gets us more resources off other social beings. The strong get more resources than the weak, better mate selection etc.

Therefore the best thing one can do is to agree with a person who expresses such negative views about kids. In a way that does not deny your own situation.

That way they will be happier and you'll have access to greater resources etc.

Lol.

 

[Fedorgasm]

There is one point that hasn't been mentioned yet, and that is that kids actually make you better at life.

Before my son was born I worked low-stress jobs that didn't pay much. Because I didn't need much money to survive. But yes, kids are expensive, and having him forced me to work my ass off to provide a better life for him. Well all that hard work paid off and I've been climbing the corporate ladder ever since. I make a great income now, and if I never had kids I guarantee I'd be making less than half.

Not only that, but going through all the difficulties, changing diapers, losing sleep, being frustrated and not knowing how to deal with a teenager.... Basically it all makes you a stronger person.

I know that I'm more patient, open-minded, loving, giving, and with a better work ethic and higher income than I ever would have been if I never had a kid.

So yes, having a kid is hard, so if you're the type of person who's primary goal is to have an easy life, then kids are not for you.

But if you're the type of person who wants the most rewarding life and is willing to accept the higher difficulty level, then you might want to consider having kids.

 

[quatin]

Let's not kid anyone. You must endure massive sacrifices to have children. Both in money and time. Daycare alone is $10k a year. You will most likely need to undergo a big change in lifestyle too, unless your life before was just sitting on the couch and watching TV. Vacations & weekends activities must now be toddler friendly and schedule friendly. Food every 3 hours, diaper change every 2. They go to bed at 8pm, so no activities after that. When they're older you can get a babysitter, but they need to be scheduled before hand, so you need to plan your weekend activities during the week.

Kids need to interact with each other and be taught when they're awake. You can't just lounge about the house all day everyday. I see a ton of parents dump their kids at the playground and sit on a bench to dick with their phones. At home, they stick Frozen in the DVD player. When they throw a tantrum, they get bribed with juice and candy instead of actual discipline. Too many people have kids who are incapable of being a parent, despite wanting to.

 

[Ron Mexico]

Until you wipe another persons ass regularly, you've never really lived

 

[no fat chicks]

Different strokes and all that. I personally believe you shouldn't have a kid unless your planning on being 110 committed with a selfless mindset and not just do it to make a spouse or loved one stay with you or cause your bored etc.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Like 90% of people that have kids wish they didn't. That's an actual stat. Oh they'll say it's the best shit ever, but it's just thinly held self delusion for survival. They've been screaming inside their mind since that kid was born.

No kids = more money, more time, probably healthier since you have time for the gym, better looking, happier relationship, travel, vacations you actually want to take, boats, etc.

Kids = being embarrassed, not being invited out places, fighting with your S.O., looking forward to dying, tight budgeting, pta meetings, buying them stupid sports gear every year, the worst

So, I've read a similar statistic somewhere. But I don't remember it being that high. Do you have a source?

 

[steve38]

Kids are great, but it's always nice to hear that more couples are opting out of parenthood. If you think you don't like kids or won't make a good parent, then by all means, don't reproduce. There's way too many people in the world who had incapable or negligent parents...and the results aren't pretty. One can peruse Sherdog and discern that much. lol