Do you regret not having kids?

I have two kids plus a stepson. It’s not as difficult and time consuming as people make it out to be.

Also, I didn’t want kids until I was in my early 30s and my first kid was born when I was 35. So I mean, you’re not on a time limit as much as women are. If you change your mind at 40, it’s only an issue if you are married to a women who is also about 40.
 
mb23100 said:
Kinda. 40 no kids. Wife is 37. We have been trying for years and it just hasn't happened. Now she wants to do IVF as she sees it as our last chance but the thought of having a 10 year old at 50 seems crazy.
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My dad was 39 when my youngest sibling was born. It didn’t seem to weird too anyone.
 
cmw43 said:
Ten years ago I could take it or leave it.

Now I'm 37 and my girls 32, we've been together nearly 8 years and had a lot of fun but we're at the point where I think where we're emotionally we're ready for kids and live in a nice family suburb.

We tried last year but unfortunately she had a miscarriage. She's on a three year work contract that runs out this summer so we can't really try again until she gets a new job otherwise she won't be covered for maternity leave. The plan is to try again this year though.
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You guys have time but if you both want kids and can afford it either way, I wouldn't waste time trying to time it perfectly around work. When you consider decreasing fertility as you age, lower sperm and egg viability when you're both stressed out and sleep deprived from work, potential miscarriages, etc., it can take years to conceive if ever. It's a roll of the dice and there is no guaranteed outcome. I've seen many couples regret not having kids because (usually the woman), is waiting for that perfect moment when she makes partner, director or WTF ever. When she finally makes it, they spend a few years trying to get pregnant without success, then waste a ton of money on IVF when the woman is 40+ and that ship has already sailed.

I've been gainfully employed with career on the up and up for 26 of the past 28 years. The two 1-year periods between jobs happened when I was 40 and 43, and we conceived during both of them. We didn't plan it that way but the first time I got laid off, we'd been trying for a few years and I was like fuck it, Ima research IVF facilities. Found the best one in our area, set up all the appointments and did the paperwork while wife was at work. And consistently getting 8+ hours sleep with plenty of time to go to the gym must have been good for the swimmers because it worked on the first attempt. And ditto 3 years later when I had nothing better to do than be a good sperm production vehicle during my wife's fertility window.

Some people want kids and some don't, which is fine. If you're in the first group, I recommend pulling out all the stops.
 
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mb23100 said:
Kinda. 40 no kids. Wife is 37. We have been trying for years and it just hasn't happened. Now she wants to do IVF as she sees it as our last chance but the thought of having a 10 year old at 50 seems crazy.
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After Alabama, I'd get on with that quick.
 
I am approaching my late 30s. I have no regrets on not having children. I am not patient enough.

Sometimes I regret other people having kids when I have to suffer the presence of their ill behaved children.
 
Had my only child in my 30s and regret none of it....personally I would've had more but the roommate decided she was one and done
 
Yes, I regret not having kids.
I don't regret not having kids in an ideal situation.
 
Sheeeit one of me is bad enuff. If I had a kid hed be the antichrist.................ye Id have a male cause superior fuckin genes by gawd uh uh.
 
ThaiSexPills said:
My brother in law has 3 kids but they live 6 hours away and my closest family member my age, my cousin is 37 with no kids and is gay so I don’t see it happening.
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Several years ago I had a party at my house and overheard a conversation between a gay friend of my wife and I and one of my wife's younger, kind of naive cousins.

It was right around when gay marriage had been legalized and to be fair to the girl it was LOUD in the room, but he had mentioned recently getting married.
She asked if he was going to have kids, and without a beat he replied

"Well we are trying but it just isn't working for some reason."

{<shrug}
 
jeff7b9 said:
Several years ago I had a party at my house and overheard a conversation between a gay friend of my wife and I and one of my wife's younger, kind of naive cousins.

It was right around when gay marriage had been legalized and to be fair to the girl it was LOUD in the room, but he had mentioned recently getting married.
She asked if he was going to have kids, and without a beat he replied

"Well we are trying but it just isn't working for some reason."

{<shrug}
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I signed one of my guys up for an apprenticeship and the officer came out with the paperwork and he checked off LGBT+. I didn’t notice but they get paid extra money from the government. “What are they gonna do, make me suck a dick to prove it?” He said when we laughed about it. Suck on that big gov
 
cmw43 said:
Ten years ago I could take it or leave it.

Now I'm 37 and my girls 32, we've been together nearly 8 years and had a lot of fun but we're at the point where I think where we're emotionally we're ready for kids and live in a nice family suburb.

We tried last year but unfortunately she had a miscarriage. She's on a three year work contract that runs out this summer so we can't really try again until she gets a new job otherwise she won't be covered for maternity leave. The plan is to try again this year though.
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you dont wait on nature, all the good eggs are probably gone, and I'm of the opinion that money doesnt matter as much as you think, people less well off, who own nothing, have kids all the time, and go on welfare. You negotiate the hospital bill or go on welfare and have them pay for it, the idea that you need everything in order to live a life with kids is a trap for overbearing parents. Kids arent as fragile as they appear.
 
There is nothing wrong with not having kids, especially if you've thought long and hard about it and come to that decision. However, the reality is you are missing out on a fundamental part of the human experience. I didn't want kids until my late 30s, but then, when I really started thinking about my later years and how I would spend them, I realized I did want them. Luckily I always dated way younger girls. I turned my then girlfriend into my wife and now have three kids. Yes, they are a tremendous amount of work, but it's worth every second.

Again, I'm all for people who don't want kids not having them. But the thing is your life becomes very basic. All your days are about yourself and you next hedonistic experience. You don't grow as a person other than becoming even more into yourself. When you have kids, your emotions and views on the world take a different shape. It's hard to explain, but you become a different person.

For men, there is nothing wrong with waiting as the biological clock is on their side. I have a friend who is 41 and so is his wife. He confided, he regrets not having kids. I very gently said hey pal, it's not to late for you. You have money and looks, go find new younger wife in her 20s or 30s. Would it kind of suck for his wife? Sure, but she should support him if that's what he really wants.

As far as IVF for women to have kids later in life or even without a man, I find that reprehensible. It's gives a bad message to young girls that it's okay to waste your 20s because science will come to the rescue; it's not right. It's better for society and women themselves to find a good man in their early 20s and form families. The childless older women should serve as a reminder that if they don't follow the right path that could cost them the chance to have a family of their own.
 
ThaiSexPills said:
As I enter my mid-30’s with no kids, a great life and a stable and good relationship, I can’t help but wonder if I’m making a mistake not having children. I always put my career first and although it’s been very fulfilling, I’m scared when I hit say 60, I’ll wish I had have had kids.

We have almost no immediate family for kids either. My brother in law has 3 kids but they live 6 hours away and my closest family member my age, my cousin is 37 with no kids and is gay so I don’t see it happening. He, like me focused on his career too and says he doesn’t regret it at all but I’m not sure he would admit it anyways.

I feel like I would be a good father. I’m kind of neutral on it but really, it’s FOMO that makes me worried. My girlfriend is neutral on it too and doesn’t care if we don’t have any.
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If you feel like that, you should probably have a kid. I won't lie, there is hard work involved, but it gives your life meaning and purpose in a way that a career can never do.

As an added bonus, I'll start respecting you as a person if you do. People who voluntarily choose not to have kids... pfffft.
 
chardog said:
you dont wait on nature, all the good eggs are probably gone, and I'm of the opinion that money doesnt matter as much as you think, people less well off, who own nothing, have kids all the time, and go on welfare. You negotiate the hospital bill or go on welfare and have them pay for it, the idea that you need everything in order to live a life with kids is a trap for overbearing parents. Kids arent as fragile as they appear.
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This 100%.
 
Makesuthink said:
Again, I'm all for people who don't want kids not having them. But the thing is your life becomes very basic. All your days are about yourself and you next hedonistic experience. You don't grow as a person other than becoming even more into yourself. When you have kids, your emotions and views on the world take a different shape. It's hard to explain, but you become a different person.
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What happens with life once the kids are adults and move out?
 
I´m in a relationship for 34 years now. We thought about it several times but it was always the same ending: no kids.

And I don´t regret it.
 
Left Hook Lacy said:
What happens with life once the kids are adults and move out?
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You experience having adult kids who are living their life, and hopefully you get grandkids. It's the circle of life. Are you trying to say kids growing up is a good reason to not have kids? Very funny.
 
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