Marriage is also about working towards a common goal, hence why the analogy fits.
Be fair.
It wasn't an analogy toward marriage -- but to MGTOW, which is constructed AGAINST common good.
The start of this thread is SELL ME ON MARRIAGE. A specific question was asked:
Why is this mentality destructive?
Don't seek to deflect because there is nothing to deflect. Your deflection means something new that you brought within yourself; you should examine why. Naturally, we can source it back to your previous marriage souring you on the concept, which is by no means is intended to reduce you as a person nor the turmoil of separation. Wounds are the reason I cannot begrudge MGTOW too harshly, so don't get me wrong -- I'm not trying to foist shame, but at the same time I can't not tell you it's a bad idea at its core
if you're going to ask.
Do you derive your self worth from a woman marrying you?
That's not the real question, is it? Because either way, my answer means nothing to your criteria of self-worth. The truth is everything you do informs you of your self-worth, and systemically larger deviations will mean greater orders of magnitude. But the real question is: What the fuck does he fucking mean I'm wrestling with self-worth? And that's kinda the point: like life, no one can tell you how good your marriage can be, how greatly in can benefit you, and how much you could really use it, thrown correctly, in your life.
The reason you refuse to see any other perspective is because those answers MUST come from you, and the only way you CAN know is by undertaking the task.
But you fear that you are not equal to the task. Or, you fear that you can do everything right, be the perfect husband, and it will still go wrong in the end. Or you got burned a time or two before and now you can't trust anyone to be loyal, and thereby you can't trust your sense of fairplay to be strong enough if they're not fair to you first. All natural fears, and 100% valid ones.
But if we extend such fear into other arenas of life, or life itself: we can also say it's true you will die. Absolutely. Any moment your life can be snatched away, or your livelihood, health, ability to walk, to love someone -- you can be crippled by literally anything. With nary a logical reason to blame for it. But still you go out and live life, right? You already know it takes guts and incentive; you may even take that courage for granted but you already know it takes strength and resolve to net your achievements. You're not staging a one-man movement to keep death at bay no matter what, you're not proclaiming: "I've decided to hide from life!"
It takes faith, will, and determination -- and in the doing you are granted these abilities and the commensurate pride that follows a job well done.
You can't ask someone else to define your drives and incentives for you. You can't look to others to discover the things you hold dear and value. I know that. You know what. Yet here we are. Thanks for reading.
I am asking a question and need collective opinion. Based on your analogy, you have established that the vine is the marriage and I equate the soil to the cultural expectation as well as how marriage laws work.
I don't know if you're a troll or simply dense, you chrome-plated dip stick, but you're asking all the wrong questions, which means you're currying answers that you've pre-designed to refuse. The real question isn't what's good about marriage? The real question is what's wrong with marriage? So far you've said it's being raped by divorce, but I'm curious if there's anything else you find troubling about marriage. It sounds like you hate going along with conventions you don't ascribe to, which is perfectly valid. Anything else?
I don't see why you can't use all your knowledge in finetuning your selection process, and reap the benefits of marriage on your terms.
I can't see what you gain by not trying.
I'm a big believer that if you limit your sugar and fats, you're doing yourself the biggest favor possible.
