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I think it's more that a depressed mind looks for things to focus on other than sadness. For myself I know I often feel like my choices are sadness or anger, and anger is a lot easier to deal with for me.It's weird. That Army experience took 8 years before I really thought about it and became consumed by it. I spent an entire year ruminating on my hatred for the military and I do not even know why. My guess is that I see ROTC people at my college, and those stupid uniforms bring back the repressed feelings. I don't blame it for my depression or anything though. It does fit with the narrative of my life that I struggle with things that "normal" people don't, and I DO hate it badly, but I was never trying to blame that experience for my mental state.