I Have Been Feeling Suicidal Lately

[Mongoosemk12]

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

[Mike]

I hear you bud, I've been feeling this way too lately. It's making focusing on studying difficult, I'm sure you can relate. I'm hear to listen or talk if you want. Wish I could do more but like I said I'm not in a very good place either. It never seems to end does it?

 

[ShinkanPo]

I hear you bud, I've been feeling this way too lately. It's making focusing on studying difficult, I'm sure you can relate. I'm hear to listen or talk if you want. Wish I could do more but like I said I'm not in a very good place either. It never seems to end does it?

It really gets disruptive to the point you cant do anything at all.

 

[Mike]

It really gets disruptive to the point you cant do anything at all.

Yeah they put my on antidepressants and anxiety meds. I'm always tired as shit no matter how much I sleep, can't focus for shit. So I quit taking the meds because I don't know if they're causing the fatigue. Of course they tell me it's probably the depression causing the fatigue, but I can't be sleeping 8-9 hours a day and still not be able to concentrate on anything.

 

[AgentSmecker]

I don't make plans for cashing my chips in but I often have violent images of myself strung up and shit suddenly intruding in my thoughts. My love of animals and the pigeons I take care of is one of the only things that really helps to give me a small glimmer of hope in life.

 

[My Spot]

MikeHolmes is a previously banned troll who was busted in the War Room about supposedly joining the Army.
That is all.

 

[M3t4tr0n]

I have dealt with depression my whole life, but suicide is rarely something that I think about. However, it has really been on my mind the past few weeks. Now that I am in this mindset, I wonder why more people do not commit suicide. It seems like the only true cure to suffering, as anything else is just a treatment. There's a saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But if you truly suffer from mental illness, the problem is not temporary at all.

Please tell us you're getting help. We don't wanna worry about a fellow sherbro

 

[M3t4tr0n]

MikeHolmes is a previously banned troll who was busted in the War Room about supposedly joining the Army.
That is all.

For real?

 

[Mike]

MikeHolmes is a previously banned troll who was busted in the War Room about supposedly joining the Army.
That is all.

He's not a troll. Just a guy having some problems and going through some things.

 

[My Spot]

For real?

You don't remember MikeArmyquitte?

 

[My Spot]

He's not a troll. Just a guy having some problems and going through some things.

Go read some of his threads under his old name.

 

[IIIIIIII]

i bet a lot more people would commit suicide if it wasn't excruciatingly-painful.

 

[RR]

MikeHolmes is a previously banned troll who was busted in the War Room about supposedly joining the Army.
That is all.

Let it go in case he is being honest here

 

[Mike]

Go read some of his threads under his old name.

I am familiar with him. Yes he feels the military is to blame for some of his problems and people disagree with that. Doesn't mean people can't be sympathetic to someone dealing with depression

 

[MikeHolmes]

I am familiar with him. Yes he feels the military is to blame for some of his problems and people disagree with that. Doesn't mean people can't be sympathetic to someone dealing with depression

I don't feel the military is to blame for my problems. The one good thing about that experience is it made me realize that I needed help and it wasn't because of their simple, ignorant explanation of "being weak." That doesn't mean I don't despise the military with all my soul because they are a system that takes advantage of people and doesn't give a shit about them. I don't like knowing the military is considered "normal," but I don't blame it for where I am. I have been depressed my entire life.

 

[Jermei]

I have dealt with depression my whole life, but suicide is rarely something that I think about. However, it has really been on my mind the past few weeks. Now that I am in this mindset, I wonder why more people do not commit suicide. It seems like the only true cure to suffering, as anything else is just a treatment. There's a saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But if you truly suffer from mental illness, the problem is not temporary at all.

You've gotten some good advice here. Listen and take action on fixing things. You can live with mental illness but you gotta work at it and understand it. Life takes a while to get through and you're in tough spot, like a knot, I've been in your situation too and it sucks. I've even had a rough couple weeks myself, not suicidal at all but more anxiety than I've had in years but I've defined it and believed I knew what was up. I exercised more and got my heart going, made lists and kept chipping away at solutions to my issues which is what I'm doing now other than posting here. I do this from experience as doing nothing gets you nothing. It's hard but you have to learn how to get through your shitty times.

Start writing down the advice here, copy / paste your notes somewhere like a word file and keep the page open. Don't close it, keep it open as a reminder. Take action on the solutions and get to work. You have to work on the solutions and take advice. This is all on you man and you're the only one who can really help you. I wish you all the best.

 

[Mike]

I don't feel the military is to blame for my problems. The one good thing about that experience is it made me realize that I needed help and it wasn't because of their simple, ignorant explanation of "being weak." That doesn't mean I don't despise the military with all my soul because they are a system that takes advantage of people and doesn't give a shit about them. I don't like knowing the military is considered "normal," but I don't blame it for where I am. I have been depressed my entire life.

Yeah I just felt that for a while you were focusing on the military thing to avoid thinking about some of this other stuff. That's a pretty normal response. I relate on the lifelong depression, been doing this nearly 25 years now and it gets tiring.

 

[MikeHolmes]

i bet a lot more people would commit suicide if it wasn't excruciatingly-painful.

Yeah, I don't like the pain notion. When I was at Fort Leonard Wood and hanging myself with a belt, my instinct was to fight the strangulation. I've thought of starting up the car with the garage closed and dying by carbon monoxide. However, I have no idea if that's effective or pain-free.

 

[Mike]

Yeah, I don't like the pain notion. When I was at Fort Leonard Wood and hanging myself with a belt, my instinct was to fight the strangulation. I've thought of starting up the car with the garage closed and dying by carbon monoxide. However, I have no idea if that's effective or pain-free.

Wish I cared more about pain. When it gets bad enough I go into a dissociative state, and I've done a lot of damage to myself before.

 

[MikeHolmes]

Yeah I just felt that for a while you were focusing on the military thing to avoid thinking about some of this other stuff. That's a pretty normal response. I relate on the lifelong depression, been doing this nearly 25 years now and it gets tiring.

It's weird. That Army experience took 8 years before I really thought about it and became consumed by it. I spent an entire year ruminating on my hatred for the military and I do not even know why. My guess is that I see ROTC people at my college, and those stupid uniforms bring back the repressed feelings. I don't blame it for my depression or anything though. It does fit with the narrative of my life that I struggle with things that "normal" people don't, and I DO hate it badly, but I was never trying to blame that experience for my mental state.