I Have Been Feeling Suicidal Lately

[Mike]

It's weird. That Army experience took 8 years before I really thought about it and became consumed by it. I spent an entire year ruminating on my hatred for the military and I do not even know why. My guess is that I see ROTC people at my college, and those stupid uniforms bring back the repressed feelings. I don't blame it for my depression or anything though. It does fit with the narrative of my life that I struggle with things that "normal" people don't, and I DO hate it badly, but I was never trying to blame that experience for my mental state.

I think it's more that a depressed mind looks for things to focus on other than sadness. For myself I know I often feel like my choices are sadness or anger, and anger is a lot easier to deal with for me.

 

[genecop]

I have lost several friend to suicide, I have one right now that is hospitalized..I have had my own personal struggles but that's another story. Just know, the fallout and destruction to the people around you is significant, while ending your own life, you change the lives of those around you..Forever..I wish you peace and serenity..

 

[MikeHolmes]

I think it's more that a depressed mind looks for things to focus on other than sadness. For myself I know I often feel like my choices are sadness or anger, and anger is a lot easier to deal with for me.

Excellent point. I have been hung up on anger for people and things for many years. There's a jealousy aspect too. Like why is life so hard for me, but some moronic a-hole can think the world of themselves over so little?

 

[deise69]

Treat your mental health the same as any other medical issue and go see a doctor. If something is bothering you, seek help.

 

[Mike]

Excellent point. I have been hung up on anger for people and things for many years. There's a jealousy aspect too. Like why is life so hard for me, but some moronic a-hole can think the world of themselves over so little?

Yes I have all of that too. Sometimes the sadness is so intense I feel like I'll break. I use the anger as a shield to hold it all together, just power through the day on pure resentment

 

[Jack Handy jr]

I think if we could some how know how many of our friends and family and I guess people in general were wearing smiles yet crying or depressed inside it would be eye opening.

I think undiagnosed depression is one reason why we have so many people in this country that abuse food, porn, and drugs. people are trying to "feel" alive or just good and these things offer a brief respite from the going through the motions of adult life esp after you realize that you re no longer in love with your spouse you have a job not a career

that you cant escape because we have

alimony

child support

mortgages

car notes

you start to wonder (I do anyway) is this all there is to life slaving away to make someone else rich while you get a pittance.

sad reality that day your in your forties and you realize that you're not going to be a rock star, or athlete, or rich, or even marry the girl you wanted is a jagged pill to swallow.

 

[Lovestorm]

I have dealt with depression my whole life, but suicide is rarely something that I think about. However, it has really been on my mind the past few weeks. Now that I am in this mindset, I wonder why more people do not commit suicide. It seems like the only true cure to suffering, as anything else is just a treatment. There's a saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But if you truly suffer from mental illness, the problem is not temporary at all.

Likely, the reason many who seriously contemplate suicide do not follow through with it is because the only reliable suicide methods are either unpleasant or it is difficult to acquire the means. If a suicide pill was offered to the general public that allowed them to fade peacefully into nothingness i'm sure that there would be many takers.

 

[Jon Stark]

While I'm empathetic, I'm also jealous that they have the desire/will to live, which I seem to have been born lacking. They likely have derived much more pleasure out of their lives.

You can message me if you need someone to chat with Bro. I've lost some friends and family to suicide and the people you leave behind suffer worse than you'll ever feel.

 

[LATEXXX COMMANDO]

"Never know what tomorrow brings"

It could suck today, it could suck for another couple days, weeks or years. Then one day it can all turn around. I know it's hard to hear and keep on going through this rough patch but if it's already bad you have to try yourself to make it better.

You gotta live day by day. One good day can outshine a whole week.

Death is gonna come regardless. It could be 40-50 years from now or even tomorrow. Why make it come any sooner? You only have one life, at least try your best to enjoy it.

 

[TeTe]

When I was an alcoholic and drug addict in my early 20s, I was depressed a lot and suicidal. It was like hell getting my life together, but it's possible. I have my moments from time to time, but life is much better when you have a different perspective.

 

[ocfightfan]

I have dealt with depression my whole life, but suicide is rarely something that I think about. However, it has really been on my mind the past few weeks. Now that I am in this mindset, I wonder why more people do not commit suicide. It seems like the only true cure to suffering, as anything else is just a treatment. There's a saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But if you truly suffer from mental illness, the problem is not temporary at all.

I don't know what you are going though but I think the quote about it being a permanent solution to a temporary problem is more than likely right. I hope you can get past whatever is dragging you down. It might help to find a way to help others or someone to love, even if it's not a person, like a pet for example. Maybe that seems absurd in your current state, but it can really change your outlook when you can contribute to others. It feels good to make the world a better place and your problems don't seem quite as permanent or terrible, at least for a little while.

 

[Brodels]

I have dealt with depression my whole life, but suicide is rarely something that I think about. However, it has really been on my mind the past few weeks. Now that I am in this mindset, I wonder why more people do not commit suicide. It seems like the only true cure to suffering, as anything else is just a treatment. There's a saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But if you truly suffer from mental illness, the problem is not temporary at all.

Hang in there dude. Just get on here and vent. You really need to speak to a professional if possible. I've dealt with a lot of mental issues my whole life as well, and a lot of the same thoughts over the last two years. The last year in particular. Try to think about the problems it may cause others if you do it. I would never do it while my parents were still alive. I've actually cut ties with a lot of people so no one would give a shit if I did do it. I do understand how terrible you must feel to be at that point, and I hate it for you. Hang in there.

If you own a gun get rid of it. I sold all mine a long time ago but a couple years ago i started really wanting one again for protection. Luckily I couldn't ever afford another one. I recently decided to stop trying to get one so I didn't do something stupid.

 

[MT7]

MikeHolmes is a previously banned troll who was busted in the War Room about supposedly joining the Army.
That is all.

Even if that's true, who cares? Why risk it? You should never assume someone is lying about suicide.

As for TS:

I'm not an expert on depression, and I'm not sure if I've ever suffered from real depression. My opinion is do some things that make you feel good. Enjoy some of your favorite food, get pleasure from whatever you prefer (sex, adrenaline activities, massage, etc etc). Go to a place you find beautiful and enjoy it. Maybe you need to change the people around you? Maybe you need to completely change your surroundings and go to a new place? Maybe it is time for new friends? You need love, care, and support. If you're not getting these things from those around you now, then you need to find it elsewhere. And you'll find those people, sooner or later. If you have money, perhaps travel somewhere and see something completely different? Take up sport? Meditation?

I'm just brainstorming, but I hope at least one of the things I mentioned helps you feel better, at least temporarily. Once you start to feel better, you can focus on tackling the issues in your life with a clearer head. Life is what you make of it. Make it awesome for yourself. Enjoy yourself. Be happy. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, I've talked people out of suicide before.

 

[Brodels]

I have lost several friend to suicide, I have one right now that is hospitalized..I have had my own personal struggles but that's another story. Just know, the fallout and destruction to the people around you is significant, while ending your own life, you change the lives of those around you..Forever..I wish you peace and serenity..

People should stay away from you

 

[fbgn]

CBT is probably much better than drugs.

thought you meant cock and ball torture (cbt) at first

 

[Strychnine]

I'm praying for you bro! It can be overcome, but get help! We're pulling for you!

 

[M3t4tr0n]

You don't remember MikeArmyquitte?

Oh yeah I remember. The details are kinda fuzzy tho lol

 

[Stargazer Rex]

Bro, do not kill yourself. You can't eat pizza if you are dead.

 

[Gene Tunney]

There is no guarantee that life exists anywhere else in the universe or that we are born anew. Would not life be fairly precious if it only existed on earth, and that we are allowed nothing more than brief years of individuality? How sad that we may have but a taste of experiencing physical and cognitive presence. So drink earth's tonic. It was given to you to swig. You will feel better on the cusp of spring's birth, when the warm rain replenishes your chalice with vim and vigor.

 

[SpaceCommissar]

Life is too short to kill yourself. If we lived for 10,000 years I could understand, but we don't even get 100 most of the time. Try to figure out a way to make your remaining time worth it to you. Don't spend it beating yourself up, you are better than that.

I usually think about the span of our lives to make me feel better about almost anything.

Screwed up in life? Who cares, I only life for another 30-40 years, it's soon over with anyway.
Debts? Oh well, too bad for them I won't be able to pay them back in time ..
Getting my heart broken? Meh
Not living like people want me to live? Who cares, we're all dead within 40 years, let's have some fun instead..

Really, the only thing that isn't covered by that fact is that I can't see my kids whole lives. That's probably a good thing.