Why marriages don't last anymore ? is it still worth it ?

Pride is one reason. The biggest contributor to divorce is because most people want what's in it for them, and anything else is unexceptional.
 
people are too selfish nowadays
you need to be capable of swallowing your pride and trusting another person completely
been married over 15 yrs had ups and downs but always talked to each other and worked out
be open and talk dont hide things or lie and life will be good
 
dontlaugh said:
Lol, well it's something to care about. It's a big step in everyone's life.
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You sound like a woman. At least women have actual reasons like biological clock where they have a time limit.

What's your reason? For fuck sake.
 
michal001 said:
Three reasons why marriages don't work anymore:

Cultural change (ok to get divorced; no more stigma)
Power shift (equal rights for men and women)
Economic autonomy (can afford to get divorced)
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And these are the real reasons. On average will have more issues when you have two equals in a marriage. Remember women use to be almost like property at a time and step above children in terms of rights. Thats when marriage worked statistically. There is a reason why you see similar hierarchies in societies with a specific leader. You see it in corporate cultures today and our own democracy is built upon the same idea with president elect, not 2 president elects. Imagine 4 years of Trump and Hillary sharing an office?

I'm not advocating we go back to women losing rights but we need to at least address marriage today can't function like it did years ago for a large percentage of people.
 
Back then divorce was a taboo there is a good side and bad side to it.

Good side is women no longer have to kept up with being beaten up, cheted on , etc.

Bad side is I see lots of people getting married with one finger ready to press the quit button. When you see people getting divorced after less than one year it looks like both sides were not mature enough to really live together with another person and work the rough spots.

Marriage is also hard work and I think now people expect it to be perfect, probably the kind of people that think their significant other doesnt fart.
 
The problem is people treat marriages like a couple relationship. If you're not ready for the commitment or feel the person might not entirely suit you, stay a couple.
 
bubbleboyjones said:
And these are the real reasons. On average will have more issues when you have two equals in a marriage. Remember women use to be almost like property at a time and step above children in terms of rights. Thats when marriage worked statistically. There is a reason why you see similar hierarchies in societies with a specific leader. You see it in corporate cultures today and our own democracy is built upon the same idea with president elect, not 2 president elects. Imagine 4 years of Trump and Hillary sharing an office?

I'm not advocating we go back to women losing rights but we need to at least address marriage today can't function like it did years ago for a large percentage of people.
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Perhaps we should let it get gone
 
People give up and get divorced too easily but the first problem is rushing into marriage too soon with someone you don't belong with.

I used to want to get married but not sure if I do now. My girlfriend doesn't. And whatever she wants she gets because she kicks ass.
 
Bat Dad said:
people are too selfish nowadays
you need to be capable of swallowing your pride and trusting another person completely
been married over 15 yrs had ups and downs but always talked to each other and worked out
be open and talk dont hide things or lie and life will be good
Click to expand...

I've been with my hubby for more than 18 years now and married for close to 10. Ups and downs is right. You can't bolt as soon as things get hard. Work, help, feel compassion and love and trust and patience for the person you chose and who chose you, and the ups always come back.
 
Nonsense said:
I've been with my hubby for more than 18 years now and married for close to 10. Ups and downs is right. You can't bolt as soon as things get hard. Work, help, feel compassion and love and trust and patience for the person you chose and who chose you, and the ups always come back.
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All sound advice nonsense but maybe its not workable marriages that split. Instead of kind of looking at the high divorce figures and thinking this is a bad thing and these are people who just give up perhaps those marriages really should never have happened. Some people just suck at compromise and are to bullheaded to share their life and no amount of working at it will fix a character flaw thats been with someone basically since they were teens and that instead of kind of viewing them as failures we should be realistic that people in general are prone to making mistakes and this is just one such where we see the glaring example. Some people can not be married without causing significant stress and greatly reducing their partners enjoyment of life. I think those people are better off calling it quits. In the old day when divorce was minimal people stayed despite having miserable marriages. One spouse can be totally willing to work but the other can be so flawed at building a partnership that its fruitless.
 
Scott Parker 27 said:
Because women

My god is my wife a pain in the ass sometimes.

Also the stress of having kids can be a real headache for couples. Parents say to the kids, this divorce has nothing to do with you, bullshit!

But if you are sitting on the sidelines wondering if you should go for it, I wouldnt not do it again, just takes a lot of work, like everything else good in life.
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I kind of wonder whether this is the main reason (obv. there are others). Marriage is hard work and we live in an era of instant gratification where people are quick to bail on things where the juice isn't immediately worth the squeeze.
 
Brodels said:
People give up and get divorced too easily but the first problem is rushing into marriage too soon with someone you don't belong with.

I used to want to get married but not sure if I do now. My girlfriend doesn't. And whatever she wants she gets because she kicks ass.
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Some relationships arent worth fixing.
 
Horse Style said:
Divorce is less frowned up than in the past. So people will split when the marriage fails instead of remaining miserable in a failed marriage
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This is a good point. Just because there are more divorces now does not mean that people are worse at relationships. Back in the day it was very common for people to remain miserable in "quiet desperation" in their shitty loveless marriages until death.
 
Banchan said:
All sound advice nonsense but maybe its not workable marriages that split. Instead of kind of looking at the high divorce figures and thinking this is a bad thing and these are people who just give up perhaps those marriages really should never have happened. Some people just suck at compromise and are to bullheaded to share their life and no amount of working at it will fix a character flaw thats been with someone basically since they were teens and that instead of kind of viewing them as failures we should be realistic that people in general are prone to making mistakes and this is just one such where we see the glaring example. Some people can not be married without causing significant stress and greatly reducing their partners enjoyment of life. I think those people are better off calling it quits. In the old day when divorce was minimal people stayed despite having miserable marriages. One spouse can be totally willing to work but the other can be so flawed at building a partnership that its fruitless.
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I agree with all that. I'm very lucky that my husband and I are both equally committed to each other's happiness and to compromise. We have similar backgrounds and screwy childhoods and a real love of stability because of it, so I'm sure that helps.
 
Orgasmo said:
The problem is people treat marriages like a couple relationship. If you're not ready for the commitment or feel the person might not entirely suit you, stay a couple.
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Some people are not able to function without autonomy. They feel like not being able to do what they want when they want is a prison. Back in the day you could just beat your wife into submission to your demands. These days its harder and harder to find someone to make a marriage work with you putting in 20~30 percent and expecting the other to put in 70~80 and top of that be good looking and a good earner. These types of personalities dominant and autonomous probably struggle the most in finding someone who will let them come and go from their marriage and family responsibilities. During courtship a woman may pretend to be all that and then of course this is not going to work out unless the woman is willing to make huge sacrifices and in these days im not sure many would.

I think the rate of good and bad unions has actually stayed very consistent. Divorce might be higher but that didnt account for much when we take into account these figures are from back in an age when marriage was basically a prison. Good or bad you had to stay in it.
 
they didnt "last" before. people stay married no matter what, because getting a divorce was worse than being a homo or a pedo in the eyes of the church.
 
Bagatur said:
they didnt "last" before. people stay married no matter what, because getting a divorce was worse than being a homo or a pedo in the eyes of the church.
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Not just church but society in general viewed an unmarried or divorced person as someone with deep flaws. People to some degree still think that about women. If shes unmarried by 30 there must be something wrong with her. So a lot of the time women were willing to stay in bad marriages because they were more afraid to be outcast as single or divorced than leave a toxic marriage. I believe they called this keeping up appearances. Pretend to be happy because the alternative is much worse.
 
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