holy... where do I even start
Kids are like sponges. They learn so fast. And guess what? They learn what you teach them! You can teach them empathy, or you can teach them vindictiveness.
Believing you can't reason with kids simply because they are kids is an excellent way to underdevelop their critical thinking. Congratulations, your mentality contributes to the dumbing down of America all while increasing violence and aggression as an acceptable manner to resolve differences.
I teach my kid that actions have consequences. If he does good he gets rewarded. If he does bad he gets punished. We live in a world without consequences. It's happening everywhere, even where I work. If I were to get drunk or high at work and fuck up so badly that someone would be hurt or killed would I get fired? Or go to jail? No. I would go to rehab (on the company(taxpayer) dime) and come back into the same position.
My kids are going to learn to respect others, and treat people how they would want to be treated.