Sell me marriage...

[neverwas]

Goddamn, just checked it on YouTube and this is like damn trend!







If lets say, I make 10 times more than her and have assets and properties. Then we get divorced, will she really get half my shit?

in a nut shell,no



























she gets about 90%.

 

[neverwas]

 

[TidWell]

Happened before. GF, not wife. Met me at one of my fights. Things went well. Then fast forward a few months. "You 'train' too much. Blah blah blah, not enough time together, we can't go out because you don't eat or drink during this time. More blah blah blah"

To some degree she was right. I train 6 days a week, abd when in camp 4 of those days are 2x. Regardless she wqs trying to cut me off from my social circle. Others have also went through this.

"Its your coach or me, make a choice Joe! ”

Never give up yoir a,bition for a woman who makes ultimatums, that chick is insecure and compares her relationship to others those women are the worst and never take accountability for anything just blame blame blame and find fault

Most likely her girlfriends or family got into her head and planted seeds of doubt or she lost interest and was ready to stray and met another guy, women when they nag are either competing and ashamed, like their girlfriends eat lunch together and one of them says did you know what johnny did for me? He took me to france and bought me this, the weak women will start envying her and nag her husband or man and compare her relationship to her bragging girlfriends.

Then there are the family some girls family will not like you and tell her things

Or she met someone new

All in all this tyoe of female should be dumped with the quickness any chick who is easily influenced and ashamed of her man and not understanding is weak and insecure not worth it.

 

[DragRacer]

Pros
-Amazing home cooked meals on the regular
-Mouth to cock resuscitation performed on command
-Clean nice smelling laundry always
-Children ahead of the curve, smart, well behaved and well adjusted because momma is home with them
-Immaculate house
-Stays in phenomenal shape, and motivates me to do the same
-Great personality, fun company for 26 days out of the month

Cons
-5 days out of the month, I want to grab her by the hair and smash her fucking cunt face into the tile floor over and over again until it’s a pile of mush and bloody paste and no more noise comes out of it.
But I don’t do that, ever.

 

[j123]

Never give up yoir a,bition for a woman who makes ultimatums, that chick is insecure and compares her relationship to others those women are the worst and never take accountability for anything just blame blame blame and find fault

Most likely her girlfriends or family got into her head and planted seeds of doubt or she lost interest and was ready to stray and met another guy, women when they nag are either competing and ashamed, like their girlfriends eat lunch together and one of them says did you know what johnny did for me? He took me to france and bought me this, the weak women will start envying her and nag her husband or man and compare her relationship to her bragging girlfriends.

Then there are the family some girls family will not like you and tell her things

Or she met someone new

All in all this tyoe of female should be dumped with the quickness any chick who is easily influenced and ashamed of her man and not understanding is weak and insecure not worth it.

Never have. Tired to make it work, but at the end screw it. Known the coach and team for more than 4 years (at the time), and knew her for 3 months, not really a tough choice to make, esp. How much I love training and being active.

But really, we've all exp'd them at this point. They take the words of their girlfriends over any dude. Actually scratch that, its actually they already made plans to do whatever for teh feelz, but justify it with Olympic level mental gymnastics

 

[Krixes]

Pros:
- If she is a stay at home mom, the kids are better taken care of and they seem to do better all around

- Alimony. Why this is still a thing in today's age is beyond me

You just answered why it's still a thing in your list of pro's. If you're a man or women who stays home to raise the kids that's a big sacrifice. Just imagine he/she stayed homed to better the kids quality of life, cleaned the house, cooked dinner every night and then after 10+ years they get divorced. That person who stayed home is in a giant financial hole due to not working for so long. It's something every couple needs to consider before they make this choice/commitment. You also have the partners who might've became disabled during the marriage. Once again it would be unfair for that person (he or she) not to be compensated. Luckily alimony is on the decline since the traditional marriage is the thing of the past, plus we're seeing more DINKS (Dual Income No Kids).

 

[plataoplombo]

You just answered why it's still a thing in your list of pro's. If you're a man or women who stays home to raise the kids that's a big sacrifice. Just imagine he/she stayed homed to better the kids quality of life, cleaned the house, cooked dinner every night and then after 10+ years they get divorced. That person who stayed home is in a giant financial hole due to not working for so long. It's something every couple needs to consider before they make this choice/commitment. You also have the partners who might've became disabled during the marriage. Once again it would be unfair for that person (he or she) not to be compensated. Luckily alimony is on the decline since the traditional marriage is the thing of the past, plus we're seeing more DINKS (Dual Income No Kids).

I agree completely with your statement, but had a different scenario in mind when I wrote that.

 

[Krixes]

I agree completely with your statement, but had a different scenario in mind when I wrote that.

I agree with you, a bunch of people receive alimony or excess alimony they just don't deserve.

 

[TidWell]

Never have. Tired to make it work, but at the end screw it. Known the coach and team for more than 4 years (at the time), and knew her for 3 months, not really a tough choice to make, esp. How much I love training and being active.

But really, we've all exp'd them at this point. They take the words of their girlfriends over any dude. Actually scratch that, its actually they already made plans to do whatever for teh feelz, but justify it with Olympic level mental gymnastics

you made the right choice.

yeah man, women who say its me or the highway make a choice then when you choose them they dump your ass later on, its power trip and childish games

Any chick who makes an ultimatum is not worth it

I know because I did that when I was younger from experience I was a hardcore white knight, she later dumped me for some other guy.

The problem with a lot of men today is they are by nature desperate for pussy, you see a lot of them, they will flirt with any girl who gives them the eye or is nice to them, and the sorriest men are the ones who like to down other guys calling them woman hater or bitter like stuff like that, that is their game plan to move in with a chick.

Myself I just observe, Im also willing to learn from other men as well who been in bad relationships it gives you the precaution to analyze without confrontation.

Another thing I learned is never to show emotion if a girl fucks you over never, just move on it kills them that you aint crying or hurt, they start wanting you more and will call you back if they see you with a new girl, I just ignore them even after that.

Also women only regret leaving you or cheating if you become rich or famous, women never ever miss or regret cheating or hurting a good man unless he becomes more successful than her current.

Sinatra used to say when a woman screws you over success is the best revenge.

 

[sub_thug]

No. I described selfishness. And you have done the same...only with more precision. Not wanting to focus on someone else's happiness so you can focus on your own is exactly what selfishness is. And wanting to celebrate your own selfishness is definitely something that should be shamed. And yes. Most definitely it is a sign of immaturity. So yes, grow up.

I quit trying to explain things to OP because it's like Chinese to these guys. Their mental model is "I will focus on me 100% of the time, and then I'll be happy. Everyone should do the same, and then we'll be good." That view is influenced by other emotionally damaged men, horror stories of how some guys got shredded in court (but as I've said before, I'm not here to defend divorce courts, as they have some big problems with how assets are divided in many cases), and these weird beliefs about how "women have changed since our mothers and grandmothers." I find that last point really kind of funny because they can't say exactly when women changed and why. What I suspect is that these guys have perhaps watched a little too much Leave It to Beaver, ignoring things like the Victorian Era sexual repression was the response to incredible STD outbreaks laregly due to rampant prostitution, how shotgun weddings weren't an uncommon way of handling premarital intercourse, and how people have always experienced challenges in their lives. But rose-colored lenses are how many people choose to view the world, so it's not surprising when those expectations aren't met in the real world.

I view this response as childish, as you seem to, but I am willing to take it a step further. This is just the expression of victimhood as part of the snowflake culture that surrounds us, and it's rather intolerable. These men and their ideology are largely a derivative of the question, "Why don't girls like me?" Since they can't face the idea that they themselves are the problem, they have to suggest that all women are the problem. It's no different than a fat girl who asks herself why she can't get a boyfriend, a malicious bitch who can't keep a man, or any other person who has a truly off-putting character trait: The problem isn't everyone else, it's just you. You can either accept that, change something about yourself, and improve, or you can't. If you do, there are lots of possibilities that open to you. You will have the opportunity to date around, attract women that you want to attract, and, if you choose, marry one to establish a life together. If not, then all of those doors are shut to you because you are your own limiting factor. You can choose from other things, same as the man who doesn't have this character flaw (virtually no one has to choose between getting married and making money/having a career that you want, having a hobby, or whatever else, as that's just a false dichotomy). By merely being objectively better, you open more possibilities to yourself. But these guys really don't want to see this about themselves, so they turn a blind eye and repress it, rationalizing their behavior by establishing an echo chamber for themselves. Oh well, you can't make people learn.

 

[Cherry Brigand]

Do you let homeless people live with you? What percentage of your earnings do you donate to the poor? I'd like to know how much of what I work for I should give away in order to qualify as a real man in your eyes. The concept of 'manning up' and signing the marriage contract which gives away half my wealth plus possible alimony payments fascinates me. Explain this more.

You keep expanding the topic to things you obviously have a lot of guilt about. Just try being less selfish.

 

[Cherry Brigand]

I quit trying to explain things to OP because it's like Chinese to these guys. Their mental model is "I will focus on me 100% of the time, and then I'll be happy. Everyone should do the same, and then we'll be good." That view is influenced by other emotionally damaged men, horror stories of how some guys got shredded in court (but as I've said before, I'm not here to defend divorce courts, as they have some big problems with how assets are divided in many cases), and these weird beliefs about how "women have changed since our mothers and grandmothers." I find that last point really kind of funny because they can't say exactly when women changed and why. What I suspect is that these guys have perhaps watched a little too much Leave It to Beaver, ignoring things like the Victorian Era sexual repression was the response to incredible STD outbreaks laregly due to rampant prostitution, how shotgun weddings weren't an uncommon way of handling premarital intercourse, and how people have always experienced challenges in their lives. But rose-colored lenses are how many people choose to view the world, so it's not surprising when those expectations aren't met in the real world.

I view this response as childish, as you seem to, but I am willing to take it a step further. This is just the expression of victimhood as part of the snowflake culture that surrounds us, and it's rather intolerable. These men and their ideology are largely a derivative of the question, "Why don't girls like me?" Since they can't face the idea that they themselves are the problem, they have to suggest that all women are the problem. It's no different than a fat girl who asks herself why she can't get a boyfriend, a malicious bitch who can't keep a man, or any other person who has a truly off-putting character trait: The problem isn't everyone else, it's just you. You can either accept that, change something about yourself, and improve, or you can't. If you do, there are lots of possibilities that open to you. You will have the opportunity to date around, attract women that you want to attract, and, if you choose, marry one to establish a life together. If not, then all of those doors are shut to you because you are your own limiting factor. You can choose from other things, same as the man who doesn't have this character flaw (virtually no one has to choose between getting married and making money/having a career that you want, having a hobby, or whatever else, as that's just a false dichotomy). By merely being objectively better, you open more possibilities to yourself. But these guys really don't want to see this about themselves, so they turn a blind eye and repress it, rationalizing their behavior by establishing an echo chamber for themselves. Oh well, you can't make people learn.

 

[esant707]

Depends what you want in life.

Marriages where both parties try to play the same role and just split responsibility for everything 50/50 are a much less than ideal situation imo. I think that creates a generally unhealthy dynamic that fosters competition and resentment.

My wife and I are a team and we compliment each other pretty well. I'm a head in the clouds kind of idealist who gets excited about everything and has limitless imagination, but limited focus and very little desire to do boring responsible things. I work and pursue all sorts of ideas for things to introduce to our lives like hobbies and financial ventures. My wife is more grounded, organized, and responsible. She manages our household in every way from grocery shopping, to remembering when I need to change the oil, to filing our taxes, to taking care of our kids.

I hate doing all of the things that she does for us, so I think it's a great arrangement.

If you aren't interested in having kids and don't mind taking care of yourself, I see no reason to get married. I honestly didn't plan on getting married for like a decade later than I did, but I knew I wanted kids and I met my wife. She has a good moral compass, she's smart, she agrees with my family values, and is excited to homeschool our kids. I couldn't risk never finding another person that I'd want to raise my children.

Your wife has to remind you when you need to change the oil?

 

[Canned Tuna]

Your wife has to remind you when you need to change the oil?

Yep. We have three cars and I ride my motorcycle most of the time when it's above 50F. I don't keep track of mileage on the cars. She writes down the mileage in one of her organizer doo-dads each time.

 

[Ah Man]

If you choose wrong, it’s a badddd choice. Unfortunately, divorce data seems to show its roughly a 50% chance that you’ll make the wrong choice. And it’s actually probably much higher as plenty of people remain in unhappy, loveless marriages.

You do need to take that into account, but you also need to take into account a few other things: The divorce is surprisingly complicated to calculate, but has probably never hit 50%. The divorce rate is inflated by serial divorcers—first marriages tend to fare much better. One indicator that marriage isn't for you is that you tried it before, and it didn't work then. If you've never been married, your chances are much better.

It's also good to take into account your and your spouse's education level. If you and your spouse are both college-educated, you're looking at much better odds.

Finally, consider whether you're part of that unique cohort that gets married for the first time later in life. They have a really good number. Why? Usually, they've been with their partner for decades, but their partner is a different religion, ethnicity, or the same sex as them, and their parents just couldn't take it. Once their parents are dead, they finally get married. If you happen to be part of that obnoxiously large cohort, marriage is probably right for you.

Divorce also doesn't necessarily mean that you never should have been married in the first place. Sometimes people grow apart, then move on, but being married in the meantime may have been the right call (although I think there's a growing place in society for taking on a 'married' identity without filing the paperwork). Born in different countries? Marriage can be very helpful in getting you together in the short run, even if you grow apart 20-some years down the line. Actually, those unhappy, loveless marriages are a much bigger thing to worry about than divorce, in my opinion.

Don’t do it until you’re at least mid thirties and established in your career.

Depends on the career. Discrimination against unmarried people in a very real thing in many careers, and getting married can be a very powerful tool in establishing your career, although in some cases the aforementioned idea of adopting a 'married' identity without filing the paperwork may be a better fit. If your locality has common law marriage, it may not matter either way.

Depends what you want in life.

Marriages where both parties try to play the same role and just split responsibility for everything 50/50 are a much less than ideal situation imo. I think that creates a generally unhealthy dynamic that fosters competition and resentment.

I think that can work fine if you and your partner have the right personalities and values for it, but you shouldn't try to force it if you don't. Really, not trying to fulfill some cultural idea of what a relationship should be is probably some of the best advice for most couples. Do what works for you. Shared finances? If it works for you. Marriage? If it works for you. Kids? If it works for you. Find what works for you and your partner, not what works for the Joneses. Can't come to an agreement that you're both comfortable with? I got bad news for you...

 

[Robocok]

You keep expanding the topic to things you obviously have a lot of guilt about. Just try being less selfish.

How is getting married less selfish than helping the poor? The difference is that with marriage you get love and affection in return. Sounds like you're the selfish one if you invest most of your time and resources into someone who gives you something in return. Try helping someone who has nothing to offer you.

 

[Canned Tuna]

think that can work fine if you and your partner have the right personalities and values for it, but you shouldn't try to force it if you don't. Really, not trying to fulfill some cultural idea of what a relationship should be is probably some of the best advice for most couples. Do what works for you. Shared finances? If it works for you. Marriage? If it works for you. Kids? If it works for you. Find what works for you and your partner, not what works for the Joneses. Can't come to an agreement that you're both comfortable with? I got bad news for you...

I totally agree. That's why I said many times in this thread that marriage isn't for everyone.

Different strokes for different folks is definitely a thing. I'm not saying that everyone who gets married needs to be a classic 1950s model family. I'm just saying that spouses need to complement each other. I've never seen a happy, healthy couple where both parties were essentially filling the same role in the relationship. I've seen a lot try and fail.

 

[Grassshoppa]

Pros
-Amazing home cooked meals on the regular
-Mouth to cock resuscitation performed on command
-Clean nice smelling laundry always
-Children ahead of the curve, smart, well behaved and well adjusted because momma is home with them
-Immaculate house
-Stays in phenomenal shape, and motivates me to do the same
-Great personality, fun company for 26 days out of the month

^This.

 

[MaureenCretis]

I’m married, and it’s fucking great. Helps that I love my wife and kids and they love me (as far as I’m aware).

You’ll know if you’re marrying the wrong person, so don’t do it.

 

[blaseblah]

It all depends on who you are and who you picked as a wife.

Pros:
- If she is a stay at home mom, the kids are better taken care of and they seem to do better all around
- If she is career minded then its easier to build a good future together, assuming she's good with money
- You'll always have someone that has your back

Cons:
- You'll lose half your shit
- If you have kids and she's a bitch, you'll need to schedule visitation times
- Child support will more than likely end up going towards her bills or maintaining her standard of living instead of your kids
- Alimony. Why this is still a thing in today's age is beyond me

I think marriage laws needs to be revamped. At some point, guys will just refuse to get married.

Makes zero sense in 2018 to have a stay at home wife.