I don't know anymore

[scorpipede]

Yeah man, you know for awhile I was pretty upbeat. Felt like I was making progress. But ever since the holidays I've been really fucked up. It's not unusual for the holidays to make me depressed, but it's just not going away. Between the mental stuff and the physical stuff I feel beat the fuck down.

This is what we do my friend. Unfortunately, we struggle. I think the holiday blues will cease. I definitely get that. You gonna make moves. Soon. It's alright to take some time and feel like shit.

 

[Mike]

This is what we do my friend. Unfortunately, we struggle. I think the holiday blues will cease. I definitely get that. You gonna make moves. Soon. It's alright to take some time and feel like shit.

Yeah I have to do something different soon. Anything. I'm starting to feel like a robot instead of a person again.

 

[scorpipede]

Yeah I have to do something different soon. Anything. I'm starting to feel like a robot instead of a person again.

Need something new. Seek out a different perspective. The woods, the desert. Something. Monotony isn't good for anyone.

 

[GergreG]

Don't know you at all but from the things you've posted since I've been lurking/posting you seem like a pretty down to earth guy, real and I've agreed or aligned with much of your opinions. Sad reading about you going through such a tough patch. I hope you can sort it out and come out the other side.

 

[Mike]

Maybe stop drinking and smoking, and use the money saved to get yourself some plane tickets for a holiday?

Tbf I only drink when I can't smoke. I'd like to quit but my anxiety is 15/10 lately and smoking helps me to at least calm down and get some sleep. I really, really want to take a vacation but the struggle is real financially. Maybe next year if I'm lucky.

My life is devoid of fun. The area I live in sucks, the people suck, so I just sherdog and play xbox. Hopefully I can scrape together the money to move faaaaaar away soon.

 

[Pugilistic]

Stop drinking and stop smoking. Use that time and money to workout instead.

Seeing how you think about women, it's no wonder you're miserable. You also need to stop tying your happiness with being with a partner. You hate women, but you attach your happiness to being in a good relationship with one, but you think you can't get that anyway since women are all lying, crazy whores, and your misery continues. You've trapped yourself into this logical cycle so it's no wonder you're depressed. It seems you know you have an unhealthy attitude as well. Now it's time to get out of it.

Stop hating women (I know you say you don't but you clearly do) and don't depend on other people to give you happiness. There are many wonderful women out there but you will never meet them because you don't give them nor yourself the chance.

The point? There really is no point. But you have decide if you want to live miserably or try to be happy.

 

[Mike]

Don't know you at all but from the things you've posted since I've been lurking/posting you seem like a pretty down to earth guy, real and I've agreed or aligned with much of your opinions. Sad reading about you going through such a tough patch. I hope you can sort it out and come out the other side.

Wow that's a very nice thing to hear from a stranger. Thanks so much.

 

[nostradumbass]

Just stay the course, be a good dude, and you'll win in the end. Buy an instrument to learn, pick up a language, join a gym to take your mind off things. Your shoulders don't know you're depressed and respond the same as a happy person's would. One you're finally over the depressive spell, you'll be glad you did. I get spells of depression too and every time they're over, you're going to look at how you spent them and learning new skills is much better than wallowing. Take a few days to feel bad, for sure, but then pull it together and do you something that will make yourself proud.

 

[Mike]

Stop drinking and stop smoking. Use that time and money to workout instead.

Seeing how you think about women, it's no wonder you're miserable. You also need to stop tying your happiness with being with a partner. You hate women, but you attach your happiness to being in a good relationship with one, but you think you can't get that anyway since women are all lying, crazy whores, and your misery continues. You've trapped yourself into this logical cycle so it's no wonder you're depressed. It seems you know you have an unhealthy attitude as well. Now it's time to get out of it.

Stop hating women (I know you say you don't but you clearly do) and don't depend on other people to give you happiness. There are many wonderful women out there but you will never meet them because you don't give them nor yourself the chance.

The point? There really is no point. But you have decide if you want to live miserably or try to be happy.

Yeah I know man, I kinda reached this conclusion soul searching after my divorce. I don't want to feel this way, be this person. I'm codependent and attracted to toxic relationships, so my plan this time was to avoid relationships entirely and just work on myself. I'm a very instrospective person and I feel like I have a good grasp on what the problems are, but I don't know how to change.


I DON'T hate women, I just hate the women I DATE. And I know part of that is I'M fucked up, so I attract fucked up girls. You might understand a bit better if you knew me personally and understood how many changes I've made these last years, trying to become a better person.

 

[shanegotu11]

I'm so tired of my life. Doesn't seem to matter what I do, or how hard I try, I fuck up every single thing I touch and for every one step forward I go three steps back. For the last five years I've been telling myself just around the corner things will get better. Just keep trying, keep grinding, don't give up. But it doesn't get better. I'm just getting older and sicker and more weary, and I just don't know anymore. I feel like I'm going to hit a breaking point soon, and completely lose my mind. I almost welcome it, so I can just give up.


No friends, no woman, no fun,no love, no life. Just work and work and drink and smoke and lay awake at night, and wake up hurting and exhausted and defeated and on and on it goes. it's to the point where I keep myself distracted 24/7, because as soon as I have time for introspection it's like why am I even bothering to go through this anymore? What's the fucking point? So people won't feel vaguely sad for a couple weeks?

View attachment 328225


Yeah whiny beta cuck thread, I know. Don't expect any sympathy or advice or anything, just feel like I need to vent or I'm going to explode. Feel free to throw in whatever insults you want, I know my life is meaningless and I'm WAY beyond the point of giving a fuck anymore.

Go do stuff. Go to movies or casino or bar or games. I'm married and enjoy alone time. I know your lonely but just keep pushing.

 

[Phr3121]

I'm so tired of my life.

You have a cool avatar. That shows good imagination and creativity. Yours is the third thread this week that I read where someone is depressed, life is miserable, and 'I'm' a fuck-up. How big is your measuring stick? Are your expectations being set too high to where you are constantly coming up short? You have your virtual friends here on Sherdog. If you have a place to live, food, and health, you are already doing better than 75% of people living in the world. Are you an American living in the United States? Than you are part of the lucky 5%. Same advise: See a doctor, keep your mind busy, find a hobby, eat well, sleep well, and exercise. Sex is overrated. Peace is underrated. Some great advice in this thread and the other two.

 

[Don Quixote]

I can emulate with you; sometimes I feel like that too. I don't have many friends, and the ones I do seem to have a complete life than me. At the age of 29, I lost a good paying job last year, and I'm not in a relationship with anyone; there aren't any single females in my social circle as well. I just don't focus too much on those hardships, because if you do, they can drive you crazy.

 

[Mike]

Go do stuff. Go to movies or casino or bar or games. I'm married and enjoy alone time. I know your lonely but just keep pushing.

I've become accustomed to spending a lot of time alone, and most of the time I'd say I even enjoy it. But it's like I've just spent too many years with these solitary hobbies. None of it is really satisfying anymore. I'm hoping when I move things will change, I live in a pretty ghetto spot and 99% of the people here are super trashy. Forgetting dating for a second, I miss just hanging out and meeting new friends. Been a long time since I've made any social contacts.

 

[adam199]

Dude. Go to therapy. You know you have depression and anxiety. Find a good therapist and try to do what he/she tells you to do.

 

[shanegotu11]

I've become accustomed to spending a lot of time alone, and most of the time I'd say I even enjoy it. But it's like I've just spent too many years with these solitary hobbies. None of it is really satisfying anymore. I'm hoping when I move things will change, I live in a pretty ghetto spot and 99% of the people here are super trashy. Forgetting dating for a second, I miss just hanging out and meeting new friends. Been a long time since I've made any social contacts.

Sometimes I'll go to a game if I'm bored. I'd move up out of the hood. Look for community things to do.

 

[Mike]

You have a cool avatar. That shows good imagination and creativity. Yours is the third thread this week that I read where someone is depressed, life is miserable, and 'I'm' a fuck-up. How big is your measuring stick? Are your expectations being set too high to where you are constantly coming up short? You have your virtual friends here on Sherdog. If you have a place to live, food, and health, you are already doing better than 75% of people living in the world. Are you an American living in the United States? Than you are part of the lucky 5%. Same advise: See a doctor, keep your mind busy, find a hobby, eat well, sleep well, and exercise. Sex is overrated. Peace is underrated. Some great advice in this thread and the other two.

I'm surviving, and it could definitely be worse, but yeah I'm not in a good spot compared to the average american. Nobody really raised me, I'm fucking crazy, my health isn't good, I don't really have many friends. I've been telling myself I'll overcome this adversity and get to have a "normal" life someday, but it's just not happening. I get that other people have had it much worse. I dunno maybe they were smarter, more resourceful, had more support. I don't seem to be able to figure it out and I've spent 90% of my adult life on the verge of getting it together but never quite getting there.


It's too late for all the plans I originally had for my life, i'm too old now and I'm still too fucked up. I suppose there has to be something else I can dedicate myself too, but I haven't found it yet.

 

[Mike]

Dude. Go to therapy. You know you have depression and anxiety. Find a good therapist and try to do what he/she tells you to do.

Yeah I was going through CBT for a couple years before I had to move again. Tying to get set up with a therapist again, but poverty.

Sometimes I'll go to a game if I'm bored. I'd move up out of the hood. Look for community things to do.

Theoretically I should be moving within the next 6-8 months, unless a bunch of shit goes wrong again and I have to postpone it. I know part of the depression is where I live. I've never lived somewhere for so long where so many people were completely irredeemable pieces of shit. It's tiring just having to interact with people here. Like I didn't even have parents, how are YOU this fucking dumb and useless?

 

[HHJ]

I'm so tired of my life. Doesn't seem to matter what I do, or how hard I try, I fuck up every single thing I touch and for every one step forward I go three steps back. For the last five years I've been telling myself just around the corner things will get better. Just keep trying, keep grinding, don't give up. But it doesn't get better. I'm just getting older and sicker and more weary, and I just don't know anymore. I feel like I'm going to hit a breaking point soon, and completely lose my mind. I almost welcome it, so I can just give up.


No friends, no woman, no fun,no love, no life. Just work and work and drink and smoke and lay awake at night, and wake up hurting and exhausted and defeated and on and on it goes. it's to the point where I keep myself distracted 24/7, because as soon as I have time for introspection it's like why am I even bothering to go through this anymore? What's the fucking point? So people won't feel vaguely sad for a couple weeks?

View attachment 328225


Yeah whiny beta cuck thread, I know. Don't expect any sympathy or advice or anything, just feel like I need to vent or I'm going to explode. Feel free to throw in whatever insults you want, I know my life is meaningless and I'm WAY beyond the point of giving a fuck anymore.

You cant let the gloom of a bad day creep into the next day. You gotta come at the next day like a SOLDIER,to be ready to pounce on whatever opportunity comes your way,instead of being meek,feeling unworthy and letting another savage come and take it.This energy your giving out right now is keeping the shit you want away from you all the more. Your introspection is WEAK,and you have to be STRONG to be worthy of the things you want. Go to other countries,expose yourself to new ideas and unfamiliar situations,take martial arts,aquire new skills. If your life isn't what you want it to be, AQUIRE SKILLS IN THE TIME YOUR NOT DOING ANYTHING. Study people who are were you want to be,and how in the fuck they did that shit. Find that in yourself.

 

[adam199]

Yeah I was going through CBT for a couple years before I had to move again. Tying to get set up with a therapist again, but poverty.


Theoretically I should be moving within the next 6-8 months, unless a bunch of shit goes wrong again and I have to postpone it. I know part of the depression is where I live. I've never lived somewhere for so long where so many people were completely irredeemable pieces of shit. It's tiring just having to interact with people here. Like I didn't even have parents, how are YOU this fucking dumb and useless?

You could try a training clinic. It's basically a place where psych grad students practice under supervision of a licensed doctor. It's a lot cheaper.

 

[HHJ]

everyone feels like that once in awhile. is normal.

Yes,its true,its human. The trick is to remember you will feel better in the morning. Don't wake up and drag that shit from last night into today. A lot of times when I have a bad night,i know,im just gonna sleep this off. Reset the game. All new shit,dudebro