I don't know anymore

[Phr3121]

It's too late for all the plans I originally had for my life, i'm too old now and I'm still too fucked up.

No, we are never 'too old', just wiser. Time to make new plans. I also had my share of failures and depression. I lost a son, went through a divorce, and laid off from two jobs. Have you tried volunteering with people or animals? Have you talked to a counselor or priest (depending on your faith)? Maybe you need a few days away in a different place to put things in perspective. Would traveling be an option? Have you looked for a support group? Rescuing and working with animals has done wonders for me. There are people, veterans, and animals out there that can use your help.

 

[HHJ]

It really is though.

short term depression is inevitable for anyone. We all get sad sometimes. Its our mortality and our finite time and sometimes it feels wasted.

 

[shanegotu11]

Yeah I was going through CBT for a couple years before I had to move again. Tying to get set up with a therapist again, but poverty.


Theoretically I should be moving within the next 6-8 months, unless a bunch of shit goes wrong again and I have to postpone it. I know part of the depression is where I live. I've never lived somewhere for so long where so many people were completely irredeemable pieces of shit. It's tiring just having to interact with people here. Like I didn't even have parents, how are YOU this fucking dumb and useless?

Yea surround yourself with negative feed and you will become part of that society. Walk, exercise and set goals for yourself. Small goals first.

 

[Phlog]

Sorry your going through it Mike, I concur with Greg, you come accross as level headed and your opinions seem well founded.

I would suggest an idea that I've been chewing over, well two, first is that I think it might be really important to have a skill set that is valued by people in your tribe. It could be work related, but mine was kickboxing, is football, handyman work and being a father. Being good at these things has earned me respect and a measure of fulfilment.

The second is I think shared situations of great difficulty. Again, in football for me, having a ridiculously physical opposition from a higher division in the cold, mud, rain and wind. Sharing that with the guys on the line with me. Individual extreme experience may be useful but I think shared is much more so.

I think these two things, mostly the first, are important to long term male psychological well being.

I know it's like talking of preventative maintenance when your cars head gasket is blown.

I'm a good judge of character, you're a fundamentally good person, chin up fella.

 

[genecop]

Wow...what do you say at 5 am after reading that...Gotta start at step one...you are trying to change a situation...and are obviously depressed and stuck....That translates...it can’t be done effectively ...The mind that needs to make the change is a sick mind ( like all of our minds) sick minds can’t make healthy changes...so what’s the answer..Grasshopper..

 

[ProBoxingInsidr]

You have more likes than posts. do you know how rare that is? that is something to hang your hat on sir!

 

[Merlotte's]

Your old username makes me chuckle sometimes, Mike Hunt, as it reminds me of my first troll attempt in middle school. Some new kid was trying to learn people's names and was tasked with writing them on the board. Our teacher dipped for a minute so I told him my name was Mike Hunt. He wrote it down. Teacher comes back and flips out(fat SJW) then sends him to the office. Bill didn't rat me out because I was huge for my age. Bill got a week of lunch detention lol.

 

[Just Creed]

You sound depressed af bud. My advice to you is cut out the alcohol, join a gym and get your ass on tinder or plenty of fish, get your confidence back, love yourself, forgive yourself if you're holding onto bad things you've done.

Sounds cliche but i was at your stage for years and it's a deep dark hole

 

[franklinstower]

I am sorry you are feeling the way you do. I used to be in a similar place, was raised very poorly and suffered from severe depression. I met a spiritual adviser began a serious meditation routine, developed a relationship with God and my life has never stopped getting better since. I think there are ways to live that spirituality teaches that are keys to a happy life.

None of it has been easy or even is now but it always gets better. I have learned to tap into a power that I am under the influence of and that changes me from this inside.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

Tbf I only drink when I can't smoke. I'd like to quit but my anxiety is 15/10 lately and smoking helps me to at least calm down and get some sleep. I really, really want to take a vacation but the struggle is real financially. Maybe next year if I'm lucky.

My life is devoid of fun. The area I live in sucks, the people suck, so I just sherdog and play xbox. Hopefully I can scrape together the money to move faaaaaar away soon.

Drinking and smoking costs a lot of money per month and you should only need a couple hundred to spend a few nights somewhere nicer. I’d say brave the anxiety and stop the vices, but every person is different.

Then again, I live in the U.K and with Europe on my doorstep, city breaks are quite cheap. I’m not sure what is around you, but sometimes it is just refreshing to get away from the home environment, even if it just for a night or two.

I used to live in a bedsit, with no friends and work a minimum wage job. Social isolation is highly underrated in terms of detrimental mental effect.

 

[RR]

Man, since we're cool I'm going to give you honest advice. I'll qualify it by saying I can't pretend to understand depression or anything like that because I've never dealt with it.

You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders in general. It's not hard to go out and make friends or meet girls. It's a confidence thing. If you don't believe in yourself then you can't expect others to do so. Just say "fuck it" and go out and have a good time. Take a weekend off and just go chill. You might surprise yourself.

 

[Jopious Extronimous]

There comes a point where you can't keep hoping for something around the corner. You really have to just find a way to enjoy what's on your current course, and push past what drags you down.

Best I can sum it up: Use the blind optimism of pure faith to get by, not the expected payoff that the premise of faith is based on. Don't expect things to get better, live like it doesn't matter if they do.

Hardest thing to I've ever had to do. But when I am able to pull it off, it really does eliminate the feelings you're describing. Hope you feel better man.

 

[ghoul]

I am sorry you're feeling so down, Mike. I dont really know what to say that hasnt already been said, but there is always a reason to go on. You may not see it right now, but it's there. You'll find it.

 

[RockstarChris]

I'm so tired of my life. Doesn't seem to matter what I do, or how hard I try, I fuck up every single thing I touch and for every one step forward I go three steps back. For the last five years I've been telling myself just around the corner things will get better. Just keep trying, keep grinding, don't give up. But it doesn't get better. I'm just getting older and sicker and more weary, and I just don't know anymore. I feel like I'm going to hit a breaking point soon, and completely lose my mind. I almost welcome it, so I can just give up.


No friends, no woman, no fun,no love, no life. Just work and work and drink and smoke and lay awake at night, and wake up hurting and exhausted and defeated and on and on it goes. it's to the point where I keep myself distracted 24/7, because as soon as I have time for introspection it's like why am I even bothering to go through this anymore? What's the fucking point? So people won't feel vaguely sad for a couple weeks?

View attachment 328225


Yeah whiny beta cuck thread, I know. Don't expect any sympathy or advice or anything, just feel like I need to vent or I'm going to explode. Feel free to throw in whatever insults you want, I know my life is meaningless and I'm WAY beyond the point of giving a fuck anymore.

The best thing you can do is keep trucking along. You are not alone my friend.

 

[dildos]

I'm so tired of my life. Doesn't seem to matter what I do, or how hard I try, I fuck up every single thing I touch and for every one step forward I go three steps back. For the last five years I've been telling myself just around the corner things will get better. Just keep trying, keep grinding, don't give up. But it doesn't get better. I'm just getting older and sicker and more weary, and I just don't know anymore. I feel like I'm going to hit a breaking point soon, and completely lose my mind. I almost welcome it, so I can just give up.


No friends, no woman, no fun,no love, no life. Just work and work and drink and smoke and lay awake at night, and wake up hurting and exhausted and defeated and on and on it goes. it's to the point where I keep myself distracted 24/7, because as soon as I have time for introspection it's like why am I even bothering to go through this anymore? What's the fucking point? So people won't feel vaguely sad for a couple weeks?

View attachment 328225


Yeah whiny beta cuck thread, I know. Don't expect any sympathy or advice or anything, just feel like I need to vent or I'm going to explode. Feel free to throw in whatever insults you want, I know my life is meaningless and I'm WAY beyond the point of giving a fuck anymore.

mike bud i got a lot of love for you.

and just to reitterate how you feel, and what we tell eachother, just keep on going bro.

i myself was in the pitts recently. much worse than now, but not that things have gotten better by any means, i just re acclimate to the happenings. we all do. and i really hope you do too.

shoot us a message bro when ever you want. been a bit scarce from the forums, but def hit us up in pm. we all still there.

 

[RockstarChris]

Mikey get pet if you can. Helps a lot

 

[Milgrim]

Before I say anything I want to say: This mindset of "no women, no friends, no life" is unattractive beyond belief which is why friends and women distance themselves if they do. I know this because I've been through it.

I also want to say I don't know the full details so I don't know exactly what you are going through and everyone struggles with shit differently so if you ever need to talk, you can message me privately. I have severe depression and understand things can be tough.

Now, to say nobody cares is ridiculous. I've been here typing in response to this so obviously if some anonymous asshole on Sherdog cares enough to reply, someone you know personally cares even more.

Hang in there, man. My buddy was a heroin addict for seven years, found a job, met a girl and is now on cloud 9. Dude is happy with life for the first time in forever. Maybe you need a change of scenery. Try looking for a new job or new places to hang out.

Listen to this guy. He used to be 12percentcool and look at him now.

 

[blaseblah]

I thought you were running marathons every morning and living the dream

 

[RR]

@Mike I think if you look at all these genuine replies it speaks to your character. You have friends here who cared enough to reach out and help. There's no reason you can't translate that. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Tell you what, you come to Houston when you get right and I'll take you out. Trust me you'll at least forget about your troubles for a weekend.

 

[method115]

I'll give the only adivce I know how to give when people are down. Hit the gym or join your local BJJ gym.