What secret names do you have for your neighbours?

[Fluffernutter]

We only have a nickname for one: The Spy.

- Super friendly and chatty when we first moved here. Too chatty if you ask me. Lots of questions that were none of her business.

- Has dogs that she walks at all hours a day. Conveniently, when others are out and about so that she can strike up a conversation with them.

- Made an interesting comment to my wife one day. She said that our dog out loose one afternoon. My wife had no idea what she was talking about. The neighbor commented that it was was time where our kid was home alone while I was still at work and my wife was running errands. Seemed like a passive aggressive comment to let my wife know she knows when we are around and when our kid is alone in the house. Seemed to want us to know she knows our schedule.

- "warned" me about the driving habits of particular people in our neighborhood.

- There was a house on the market a few months ago. To not make it obvious that the house was vacant, I took the garbage and recycling carts out to the curb on "dump day" and then returned them to the side of the house during the evening. She walked up to me to say "I know what you're doing." Then walked away. It was odd.

 

[minute bull]

Oh man you must have been called some choice names as well, any ideas what two moles would have been calling you to her friends?

Two Moles sounds like a name they chose not to use in that scene in Goodfellas when they're introducing all the wise guys. Frankie Two Moles... Because he killed two undercover cops

She had two knobs like Frankenstein on either side of her jowls. It's like, lady, I couldn't not say something. But, like I said, to her credit she fastidiously wasted no more time on my bad noise. She was classy for such an uggo.

To tell you the truth having read their work no one was imaginative enough to bother coming up with anything to throw my way. I swear one hen? Every story began with a housewife alone with a glass of wine. Every. Single. One. If I didn't learn her name the nick would have been updated to Lifetime Network.

You're not far off because parodying GOODFELLAS was basically what I was doing. Walking into class the next day was a bit different tho....

 

[sleepwalk]

Real names of the people I actually know.
Otherwise, they're:
Porch Pirate- Dirtbag in the apartment house next to is that stole a package off another apartment's doormat and put it in Facebook marketplace. Got arrested.
Those Guys- Middle-aged interracial gay couple walks around neighborhood until lunchtime picking up litter. White dude wears little ass 1985 basketball shorts. They used to have dogs.
The Brazilian House- Rotating tenants. Always Brazilian.
Guy on the Corner- Portuguese family man has the house on the corner. Rents rooms to Brazilians who get picked up by vans for work at 5-6AM.
Tequila Guy- Used to drive a banner-wrapped car for some newer brand of tequila. Assuming he was a sales rep.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

We only have a nickname for one: The Spy.

- Super friendly and chatty when we first moved here. Too chatty if you ask me. Lots of questions that were none of her business.

- Has dogs that she walks at all hours a day. Conveniently, when others are out and about so that she can strike up a conversation with them.

- Made an interesting comment to my wife one day. She said that our dog out loose one afternoon. My wife had no idea what she was talking about. The neighbor commented that it was was time where our kid was home alone while I was still at work and my wife was running errands. Seemed like a passive aggressive comment to let my wife know she knows when we are around and when our kid is alone in the house. Seemed to want us to know she knows our schedule.

- "warned" me about the driving habits of particular people in our neighborhood.

- There was a house on the market a few months ago. To not make it obvious that the house was vacant, I took the garbage and recycling carts out to the curb on "dump day" and then returned them to the side of the house during the evening. She walked up to me to say "I know what you're doing." Then walked away. It was odd.

She sounds like she's one forgotten dose of medication away from you waking up to find her watching your kids sleeping one night. I'd take her out now if I were you

 

[HUGHPHUG]

She had two knobs like Frankenstein on either side of her jowls. It's like, lady, I couldn't not say something. But, like I said, to her credit she fastidiously wasted no more time on my bad noise. She was classy for such an uggo.

To tell you the truth having read their work no one was imaginative enough to bother coming up with anything to throw my way. I swear one hen? Every story began with a housewife alone with a glass of wine. Every. Single. One. If I didn't learn her name the nick would have been updated to Lifetime Network.

You're not far off because parodying GOODFELLAS was basically what I was doing. Walking into class the next day was a bit different tho....

I loved creative writing classes, still do when I can find one locally to do, but fuck I hated having to read some of those stories.
Obviously mine were amazing

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Real names of the people I actually know.
Otherwise, they're:
Porch Pirate- Dirtbag in the apartment house next to is that stole a package off another apartment's doormat and put it in Facebook marketplace. Got arrested.
Those Guys- Middle-aged interracial gay couple walks around neighborhood until lunchtime picking up litter. White dude wears little ass 1985 basketball shorts. They used to have dogs.
The Brazilian House- Rotating tenants. Always Brazilian.
Guy on the Corner- Portuguese family man has the house on the corner. Rents rooms to Brazilians who get picked up by vans for work at 5-6AM.
Tequila Guy- Used to drive a banner-wrapped car for some newer brand of tequila. Assuming he was a sales rep.

Oh man, porch pirate reminds me of the days of doing milk runs in the early hours, following the milk cart around at 4am to steal the good stuff once he'd dropped it off.
Posh neighbourhoods would have orange juice and bread and yoghurts delivered

 

[tonysmasseuse]

We were wondering what our neighbours might call us recently

Little Lebowskis
Fucking knackers
Skitzo dog family
White Asians because of the cooking smells
The exhibitionists because of all the nudity

Little Lebowskis sounds like the cutest band ever.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Little Lebowskis sounds like the cutest band ever.

A trio of dwarves that only do acoustic Spanish guitar versions of Kylie Minogue songs

 

[Sleestaxk]

We were wondering what our neighbours might call us recently

Little Lebowskis
Fucking knackers
Skitzo dog family
White Asians because of the cooking smells
The exhibitionists because of all the nudity

You sound like a Gallagher to me

 

[Sleestaxk]

Oh man, porch pirate reminds me of the days of doing milk runs in the early hours, following the milk cart around at 4am to steal the good stuff once he'd dropped it off.
Posh neighbourhoods would have orange juice and bread and yoghurts delivered

yep definately a Gallagher.

We have:

Bat Eared Gary: the old man down the road that always needs me to fix shit for him or do his heavy lifting. He has big ears.
Tits Wiggle: Big sloppy titted 40 year old
Sugar Tits: Attractive perky titted 40 year old.
Ace Ventura: his cat died in my yard, he went through this elaborate story as too how he thought it died and ended in my yard
Strata Nazis: what I call the various snoopy old people in the neighborhood.
That Autistic Kid: mildly autistic kid that lives across the street, grown up now but still the autistic kid
K-Dog and Mrs K-Dog: my buddy Keith and his wife

 

[tonysmasseuse]

A trio of dwarves that only do acoustic Spanish guitar versions of Kylie Minogue songs

 

[Dulfus]

When I lived in Vancouver, my roommates and I had:

-'Rad Cats/Rad House', a constant rotation of way too many skater kids, most of which were seriously talented. They threw wicked parties and had tons of ladies around, and had a movie projector they'd screen on the side of their house almost nightly.

-'The Flanders', complete with Ned, Maude, Rod and Tod.

-'Chad and Stacy', had his and hers Audis, and often coordinated outfits.

-'That Fucking Creep', a right fucking creeper, seriously. The kind where if it came out that he had people chained up in his basement, you wouldn't be surprised.
He once dropped a box of books off on our front stoop and that included topics such as midieval torture/devices, human experiments, ancient plagues and Nazi medical discoveries.
We'd sometimes call him 'Edward', after Ed Gein.

-'Neighbour Guy', a hippied out ex vet that smoked a lot of pot and did Tai Chi in his back yard. Eventually found out that his name was, in fact, Guy.

-'Easy Rider', actually felt a bit bad about one, but it was a good looking single mom that had a steady flow of men stopping by. She was a sweetheart, and would bring us baking.

-'The Road Wardens', an older couple that would go on evening walks and pick up garbage from the street.

-'Biker Mice From Mars', a few biker kids that dressed gothic. Individually, they were 'Sparkle Motion', 'Day Walker', 'Pinball Wizard' and 'Gerilyn Hanson'

-'Grandma Death', an ancient Chinese woman who lived directly across the street. She'd stand with her hands behind her back, looking out the living room window all hours of the day and night.

-'Grandpa Death' eventually moved in right next door to her, and would do the exact same from his living room. They lived such parallel lives, they probably never actually crossed paths.

Those were just a few...

 

[killer]

Cunt face and nosy fuck.

 

[Colageneration]

"surprisingly hung chung"

Hot Asian guy with a huge dick who lives directly opposite me.

 

[Shuque]

Bill, his real name is William.

 

[dildos]

@HughPhug is suicide blonde hot or not?

i want to ask for pics if hot please.

 

[therealdope]

one is a former tweaker
one is legit on Megans Law as a registered offender
and the other is a decently hot mid 20s chick, i call her 'thickums'

You should really write a book about 29 Palms.

 

[therealdope]

We have SANTA CLAUSE next door. Used to have a GRACE KELLY across the street.

Spoiler

She looked exactly like this

I mean exactly.

 

[LATEXXX COMMANDO]

None because I could give a damn about them.

The only time was when there was a couple next door to me and I knew them by the Russian wife and German husband but they moved away.

 

[minute bull]

A trio of dwarves that only do acoustic Spanish guitar versions of Kylie Minogue songs

"Low" sung in an even higher pitched voice