What secret names do you have for your neighbours?

[j123]

Cunt

 

[Merlotte's]

They’re all white I’m just glad they let me live amongst them.

 

[chill doggie]

Balcony toker - always hear him and kinda see him in his balcony across from my house, cannot visually confirm but I hear him coughing.

the texan pitbull assassin - has one of those punching bags that’s like teardrop shaped in his yard, probably thinks he’s K1 muay thai. lives on the other corner of my street so too far away to talk to.

Next door gringo dad. Older gringo dude that lives next door always doing yard work, sometimes wakes me up at noon with his lawnmower but he’s alright, we’ll chat once in a while. Has a cute daughter I think I saw once caught smiling at me and my lil dog.

How’s it going neighbor - younger dad guy that always has grand seasonal ornaments in his lawn, like a big ass ghost or a santa claus police car inflatable. Has said to me “how’s it going neighbor” about a dozen times when I walk my dog and not a single word else.

Cowboy howdy - maybe he’s in his 30’s and he has down syndrome, catch him in the morning waiting for his daycare transport van or in the afternoon getting dropped off. I’ll go say hi to him if I can get his attention and he’ll come pet my dog. They have a nice fluffly cat that is always sunbathing comes over for scratches.

The vet- has a red ram truck with many vet stickers and a cool little retro jeep that probably sucks or not idk about jeeps, also has military morale stickers. I’ve only seen him once in like 7 years.

Cornerhouse dickhead. Has a tree branching out into the sidewalk that will get in your face unless you’re a manlet like him. Has many cars in his driveway. A pool and a trampoline and shit. Built a big ass fence after the city made me tear down my little brick fence. Drove his lawnmower onto my dog to scare it off when she tried to take a lil piss on a lil corner of his grass before putting up his fence.
He’s definitely on a list.

 

[Morning Star]

None currently. The last one I did have a nickname for was Mickey Rourke. Basically dude looked like Mickey Rourke and partied non-stop. Nice guy, terrible neighbor.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

You sound like a Gallagher to me

yep definately a Gallagher.

We have:

Bat Eared Gary: the old man down the road that always needs me to fix shit for him or do his heavy lifting. He has big ears.
Tits Wiggle: Big sloppy titted 40 year old
Sugar Tits: Attractive perky titted 40 year old.
Ace Ventura: his cat died in my yard, he went through this elaborate story as too how he thought it died and ended in my yard
Strata Nazis: what I call the various snoopy old people in the neighborhood.
That Autistic Kid: mildly autistic kid that lives across the street, grown up now but still the autistic kid
K-Dog and Mrs K-Dog: my buddy Keith and his wife

What's a Gallagher? Who's the reference (please don't say it's an Oasis thing)

Great names, I don't know why something like this amuses me so much. Bat Eared Gary is GOAT nickname

 

[HUGHPHUG]

When I lived in Vancouver, my roommates and I had:

-'Rad Cats/Rad House', a constant rotation of way too many skater kids, most of which were seriously talented. They threw wicked parties and had tons of ladies around, and had a movie projector they'd screen on the side of their house almost nightly.

-'The Flanders', complete with Ned, Maude, Rod and Tod.

-'Chad and Stacy', had his and hers Audis, and often coordinated outfits.

-'That Fucking Creep', a right fucking creeper, seriously. The kind where if it came out that he had people chained up in his basement, you wouldn't be surprised.
He once dropped a box of books off on our front stoop and that included topics such as midieval torture/devices, human experiments, ancient plagues and Nazi medical discoveries.
We'd sometimes call him 'Edward', after Ed Gein.

-'Neighbour Guy', a hippied out ex vet that smoked a lot of pot and did Tai Chi in his back yard. Eventually found out that his name was, in fact, Guy.

-'Easy Rider', actually felt a bit bad about one, but it was a good looking single mom that had a steady flow of men stopping by. She was a sweetheart, and would bring us baking.

-'The Road Wardens', an older couple that would go on evening walks and pick up garbage from the street.

-'Biker Mice From Mars', a few biker kids that dressed gothic. Individually, they were 'Sparkle Motion', 'Day Walker', 'Pinball Wizard' and 'Gerilyn Hanson'

-'Grandma Death', an ancient Chinese woman who lived directly across the street. She'd stand with her hands behind her back, looking out the living room window all hours of the day and night.

-'Grandpa Death' eventually moved in right next door to her, and would do the exact same from his living room. They lived such parallel lives, they probably never actually crossed paths.

Those were just a few...

With regards to that Fucking Creep - I used to know a guy we nicknamed Tate Nilsen, named after the psycho from Cohen & Tate and Dennis Nilsen the serial killer.
We were only kids at the time, late 80's, we used to follow him around as we thought he was a serial killer/rapist.
He cornered us one day and confronted us, we shit it and ran. never saw him again. It was like a real life Summer of 84

"surprisingly hung chung"

Hot Asian guy with a huge dick who lives directly opposite me.

Awesome!

Bill, his real name is William.

Woah, that's some next level shit

@HughPhug is suicide blonde hot or not?

i want to ask for pics if hot please.

she's one of those chicks that was married with two teenage kids, kicked the husband out, kept the house/dog/kids, took up boxercise, got fit, now she brings different blokes home every week.
mid 40's quite attractive, worked well on her figure though

We have SANTA CLAUSE next door. Used to have a GRACE KELLY across the street.

Spoiler

She looked exactly like this

I mean exactly.

I forgot we had a Santa lived opposite us, died a couple years back

Balcony toker - always hear him and kinda see him in his balcony across from my house, cannot visually confirm but I hear him coughing.

the texan pitbull assassin - has one of those punching bags that’s like teardrop shaped in his yard, probably thinks he’s K1 muay thai. lives on the other corner of my street so too far away to talk to.

Next door gringo dad. Older gringo dude that lives next door always doing yard work, sometimes wakes me up at noon with his lawnmower but he’s alright, we’ll chat once in a while. Has a cute daughter I think I saw once caught smiling at me and my lil dog.

How’s it going neighbor - younger dad guy that always has grand seasonal ornaments in his lawn, like a big ass ghost or a santa claus police car inflatable. Has said to me “how’s it going neighbor” about a dozen times when I walk my dog and not a single word else.

Cowboy howdy - maybe he’s in his 30’s and he has down syndrome, catch him in the morning waiting for his daycare transport van or in the afternoon getting dropped off. I’ll go say hi to him if I can get his attention and he’ll come pet my dog. They have a nice fluffly cat that is always sunbathing comes over for scratches.

The vet- has a red ram truck with many vet stickers and a cool little retro jeep that probably sucks or not idk about jeeps, also has military morale stickers. I’ve only seen him once in like 7 years.

Cornerhouse dickhead. Has a tree branching out into the sidewalk that will get in your face unless you’re a manlet like him. Has many cars in his driveway. A pool and a trampoline and shit. Built a big ass fence after the city made me tear down my little brick fence. Drove his lawnmower onto my dog to scare it off when she tried to take a lil piss on a lil corner of his grass before putting up his fence.
He’s definitely on a list.

Nice, I bet that dog gets you quite a few chicks wanting to come over for a stroke

 

[Ikuza]

I barely even know what my neighbors look like. No real names. No fake names.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

I barely even know what my neighbors look like. No real names. No fake names.

Prison?

 

[chill doggie]

Nice, I bet that dog gets you quite a few chicks wanting to come over for a stroke

There are no chicks around by neighborhood, sick and twisted conspiracy now that I think about it.

 

[Ikuza]

Prison?

Exactly. Just numbers.

 

[Simian Raticus]

Growing up there was an older ex cop living on our street.

This guy basically never let go of having power over people.

Type of dude to complain about fucking everything. Like, everyone on the street had at least had a terse note dropped in the letterbox for something at some point, like their dog barking too much or their kids playing too close to his lawn or something.

My grandmother used to refer to him as Mr Plod, but I hadn't even seen Noddy so I thought that was his name for quite while.

I also would try to friendly if I saw him, so I'd be like "Hi Mr Plod". To which he would respond with a scowl.

I would think - wow, he really is a grumpy old fuck.

In reality, he would have though I was mocking him with the Mr Plod shit, when I was actually trying to be nice.