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What secret names do you have for your neighbours?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by HughPhug, Jan 30, 2020.

  1. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    we have WHOREBAG - A good looking fifty+ woman who lives in a council flat and drives a Land Rover, BF has a Porsche. Has to be a high class ho, dresses sexy

    DORIS THE BORIS is really nice but her dog is mental

    SUICIDE BLONDE lives just 2 doors down, always undressing in her window which faces the road, people die there daily

    GERMAN SAUSAGE WOMAN (sometimes called GERMAN SAUSAGE CUNT) - she's German, nosey fucker, bit of a cunt at times. Invited me round for a massage once in front of my wife cos I had a dodgy back - hence the sausage

    DJ BANTAM BAD BOY & MC CHRIS - these are dogs

    JOHN ASHTON/TAGGART - fucking dead spit of him, it's awesome

    MAD MARY - loopy fucker runs everywhere

    THAT BIRD YOU SAVED - saved her life a bus stop once, true story, forget her name

    YAPPY FUCKER - lives on the corner, trappy bitch

    OLLIES MUM - fat woman, dog called Ollie

    STANK BITCH - old girl works in the CO OP, mouth is stank

    SCUMMERS - live on the corner, type of scum should never be allowed animals or kids, they have 30 of each.
    40 bags of rubbish each week, STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TRASH GOES IN WHAT CUNTING BAG SO IT STINKS UP THE HOOD CONSTANTLY

    FREAKY CAT BITCH 1 & 2 - never seen them to be fair, can't see in the bungalow windows do to matresses, cats, cat boxes, wind chimes, cats, dead owls and cats. - Two of em

    DE JA VU DUDE - Looks like the dude off the Denzel movie

    PEADO MAN - everyone got a peado man in their neighbourhood, walks around with a dodgey bag, magazine size, nasally voice, likes kids
     
  2. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    we don't have many friends or get invited anywhere
     
  3. weed ベルセルク

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  4. Sonny Qc 86,425 Likes

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    I don't care enough about any of my neighbours to make up name for them.
     
  5. PlayswellwithLawnDarts Banned Banned

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    The Koreans, pretty subtle so know
     
  6. Medulla Omoplata Mayberry Comptroller

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    i just use their real names. they're mostly nice folks.
     
  7. weed ベルセルク

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    @Clippy calls Mr. Pencil, "Mr Penisil".

    [​IMG]
     
  8. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    it makes it easier for when I have to say to my wife DORIS THE BORIS is in the road with her dog again, or fuck, there's MAD MARY, duck
    OR my wife says SUICIDE BLONDE got her tits out again

    Sometimes I don't call John Ashton John Ashton or Taggart, some times I just hum Axel F and wifey knows what's up
     
  9. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    Mine are mostly old and white, or scummy and white, so I need to be able to differentiate between them else we'd never know who died
     
  10. genecop Gold Belt

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    One Crazy Lady..everyone has one..
     
  11. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    do you live in a retirement home?
     
  12. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    yeah we got a fucking ton of them
     
  13. weed ベルセルク

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    he lives in Super Mario World.
     
  14. A.A. Riggs Black By Demand

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  15. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    [​IMG]
     
  16. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    Couple of those trees look cunty though, little spiky ones trying to mingle with the pretty ones

    but we know whats up
     
  17. Medulla Omoplata Mayberry Comptroller

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    canada

    [​IMG]
     
  18. A.A. Riggs Black By Demand

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    A little bit cunty, and a whole lot of knob and knoll.
     
  19. Jackonfire BMF Mod Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    "That fucking asshole" - the guy across the street who gets up early on weekends with his leaf blower. Many a Saturday morning I've thought about walking across the street and grabbing the leaf blower and shoving it up his ass. No jury would convict.
     
  20. HUGHPHUG ALL CAPS YO

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    I might have to quote that out of context somewhere down the line
     

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