What secret names do you have for your neighbours?

we have WHOREBAG - A good looking fifty+ woman who lives in a council flat and drives a Land Rover, BF has a Porsche. Has to be a high class ho, dresses sexy

DORIS THE BORIS is really nice but her dog is mental

SUICIDE BLONDE lives just 2 doors down, always undressing in her window which faces the road, people die there daily

GERMAN SAUSAGE WOMAN (sometimes called GERMAN SAUSAGE CUNT) - she's German, nosey fucker, bit of a cunt at times. Invited me round for a massage once in front of my wife cos I had a dodgy back - hence the sausage

DJ BANTAM BAD BOY & MC CHRIS - these are dogs

JOHN ASHTON/TAGGART - fucking dead spit of him, it's awesome

MAD MARY - loopy fucker runs everywhere

THAT BIRD YOU SAVED - saved her life a bus stop once, true story, forget her name

YAPPY FUCKER - lives on the corner, trappy bitch

OLLIES MUM - fat woman, dog called Ollie

STANK BITCH - old girl works in the CO OP, mouth is stank

SCUMMERS - live on the corner, type of scum should never be allowed animals or kids, they have 30 of each.
40 bags of rubbish each week, STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TRASH GOES IN WHAT CUNTING BAG SO IT STINKS UP THE HOOD CONSTANTLY

FREAKY CAT BITCH 1 & 2 - never seen them to be fair, can't see in the bungalow windows do to matresses, cats, cat boxes, wind chimes, cats, dead owls and cats. - Two of em

DE JA VU DUDE - Looks like the dude off the Denzel movie

PEADO MAN - everyone got a peado man in their neighbourhood, walks around with a dodgey bag, magazine size, nasally voice, likes kids

 

we don't have many friends or get invited anywhere

 

I don't care enough about any of my neighbours to make up name for them.

 

The Koreans, pretty subtle so know

 

i just use their real names. they're mostly nice folks.

 

@Clippy calls Mr. Pencil, "Mr Penisil".

 

it makes it easier for when I have to say to my wife DORIS THE BORIS is in the road with her dog again, or fuck, there's MAD MARY, duck
OR my wife says SUICIDE BLONDE got her tits out again

Sometimes I don't call John Ashton John Ashton or Taggart, some times I just hum Axel F and wifey knows what's up

 

Mine are mostly old and white, or scummy and white, so I need to be able to differentiate between them else we'd never know who died

 

One Crazy Lady..everyone has one..

 

do you live in a retirement home?

 

yeah we got a fucking ton of them

 

he lives in Super Mario World.

 

Couple of those trees look cunty though, little spiky ones trying to mingle with the pretty ones

but we know whats up

 

canada

 

A little bit cunty, and a whole lot of knob and knoll.

 

I might have to quote that out of context somewhere down the line