Sell me marriage...

[I Am Legion]

Marriage is all about who you marry. If you marry the right person, it can be great. Marry the wrong one and it could be hell. My buddy got married to his first wife 25 years ago and it was 3 years of hell. He has been married to his second wife for over 10 years and is happy af.
Marriage is a compromise. But it’s also having a partner through all of life’s highs and lows. The sex part does get stale at times, but other things are better.

 

[Wrath of Foamy]

Which I would argue is really a lot more romantic that the more materialistic side ala a big white weddings, etc.

I must admit I do have a strong aversion to ending up in some tedious loveless middle class marriage, probably because I'v seen so many of them drag on and end across my family. The again I have a strong aversion of dull materialistic middle class life generally.

The only person who I know who has been in a long-lasting, happy marriage is a former colleague in his 60s, and he hasn’t had sex in a long time because his wife is a bit older and has had a lot of problems down below, requiring surgery. He is an upstanding man and seemed to love and respect her though and it seems like she felt the same way.

I know of another man who is approaching forty, who loves his children but doesn’t seem to be respected at all. He keeps bragging about his discussions and meet ups with other women.

My mother has met a few men, from my Dad, to another guy, to a guy in a seven year relationship, to a guy who she spent too much on, and is now living in a bedsit. My father has been through multiple women but has finally settled with a Filipina and has a two year old daughter, in his fifties, in an affluent area.

For most of my life, the message gained from relationships is that love is great, whilst it is there, but love dies.

My current relationship feels like a long marriage, with ups and downs, but we both keep our own incomes and our own money. I’d like to get a mortgage at some point, but I’d rather do it on my own as opposed to jumping into it together. That way, our separation can be clean.

 

[wlu.29]

Not really. Having a 22 year old, firm, hourglass shaped wife who’s a freak in the sack will do that to you.

A freak in the sack that's willing to sex every day but not BJ every day

 

[steve38]

The only person who I know who has been in a long-lasting, happy marriage is a former colleague in his 60s, and he hasn’t had sex in a long time because his wife is a bit older and has had a lot of problems down below, requiring surgery. He is an upstanding man and seemed to love and respect her though and it seems like she felt the same way.

I know of another man who is approaching forty, who loves his children but doesn’t seem to be respected at all. He keeps bragging about his discussions and meet ups with other women.

My mother has met a few men, from my Dad, to another guy, to a guy in a seven year relationship, to a guy who she spent too much on, and is now living in a bedsit. My father has been through multiple women but has finally settled with a Filipina and has a two year old daughter, in his fifties, in an affluent area.

For most of my life, the message gained from relationships is that love is great, whilst it is there, but love dies.

My current relationship feels like a long marriage, with ups and downs, but we both keep our own incomes and our own money. I’d like to get a mortgage at some point, but I’d rather do it on my own as opposed to jumping into it together. That way, our separation can be clean.

Love fades....the older generation stuck with it because the shame of divorce was too great, and women weren't able to support themselves. I know plenty of older expats here in Philippines that just carried on with that, found them an illiterate jungle girl and made her a faithful wife...lol. Just buy some coconut wine for the neighbors and everyone is happy, happy. No hate on that, and in 20 years, I might be doing the same.

 

[Deleted member 110072]

For most of my life, the message gained from relationships is that love is great, whilst it is there, but love dies..

A bit pessimistic perhaps but at the least I take the view that if it does then staying together always rarely works out well for anyone.

With children especially I think a troubled marriage is generally far more damaging than a separation.

 

[Phlog]

Love fades....

Love is like a plant. If you don't water it, it'll fade. But if you care for it, it will grow into a giant oak that runs through all of your life supporting your every moment.

 

[Clear Winner]

Give it another 10 years and some developments in sex dolls ad porn tech and many more countries will have gone full Japan. Too many men and women living in their bubbles and making themselves unmarriable.

Would have been interesting to read a thread on the same topic 10 years ago.

 

[steve38]

A freak in the sack that's willing to sex every day but not BJ every day

He's exaggerating a bit.....Filipinas are very accommodating and they don't want to disappoint you. My wife tries to be sexy, but she just cannot pull it off...and that's sexy for me. I'm the same, so it works out. lol

edit: obligatory pic of wife.....

She's not gonna win a modeling contest, but neither am I. lol. She's a scholar and teaches 2nd grade, while I sit home, drink beer and wish I had a maid....haha. Most guys fuck it up when they go abroad and just find the hottest, youngest chick that will have them. Of course they have problems with that.

 

[Alphafail]

If you need to ask Sherdog about it, marriage probably isn't for you.

My personal advice: Don't let people's own shitty experience and negativity infect you. If you pick the right person, marriage is the most fulfilling experience after having children.

 

[Jake the Muss]

Marriage = union.
Union = corporation.

Once you understand these concepts, you will realize that you are getting into business with someone. Just like a business, it can acquire assets, liabilities, profits, and expenses. It also provides the owners protection from external influences, and gets preferential treatment in a lot of situations.

When you start a business, it comes with a standard operating agreement template between owners. If you are smart, you get yourself a good lawyer to negotiate the terms of that agreement prior to signing.

Same thing with marriage. Negotiate fair terms prior to signing off and you will increase your chances of having a prosperous and happy life.

 

[adifighter86]

Marriage sucks, you lose all the opportunity to be free.

 

[Jake the Muss]

Most women want marriage, because the boilerplate operating agreement that comes with marriage "favors" them, especially if they have children. Producing children is an economic surplus, and the court is an arm of settling financial disputes for the state. She will almost always win, even if she is a bad mother.

The moaning you hear from most men in marriages and divorcees is because they exhausted themselves trying to maintain a fantasy bond.

A fantasy bond is a type of relationship where the basic tie is based on routines and roles, rather than spontaneous feelings.

The bond in this sense is the illusion of connection. In actuality it is bondage.

Members in a relationship or group subconsciously creates a pact that protects the bond from triggering the other member's separation anxiety; resulting in a loveless, helpless, mechanical relationship where members are too afraid of change to actually improve their situation.

This bond replaces the substance of a loving relationship with the form of being a unit.

Eventually, one or more members experience a spiritual awakening that triggers death anxiety, and decide that the perceived threat of dying without actually living is far scarier than the risk of what might happen if one was to venture out into the world by themselves...therefore breaking the bond, destroying the unit; and in the case of families, creates a vicious cycle of cruelty that is passed down to the next generation.

Over 50% of marriages end in a divorce, and the majority of the remaining marriages maintain the fantasy bond. Apparently, only 3% of marriages are actually happy and successful.

If there is anyone who is interested in receiving material that would help them to avoid this misery, PM me.

 

[n...not crazy]

BJ whenever I want. Married 11 years.

Oh, and my wife is a nice person to the core. Kind of important I suppose.

ps: Suck it.

 

[steve38]

Marriage sucks, you lose all the opportunity to be free.

It's not hard to create trust with your partner....do you deserve trust? My wife let's me whatever I want, but I earned that privilege. It takes time, bro.

 

[Phlog]

Marriage sucks, you lose all the opportunity to be free.

If by free you mean neglecting your commitments then yeah, when you make a commitment you should stick to it. Your father probably should have told you.

 

[steve38]

If by free you mean neglecting your commitments then yeah, when you make a commitment you should stick to it. Your father probably should have told you.

Different cultures...in Philippines if you don't have 3 pregnant mistresses, you're basically a homosexual. It's like Mexico much more than Japan. He want's to play around, and his wife won't allow it. She's too "strict" as they call it here. He has never earned the trust.

edit: many Filipinas eventually get tired of the bullshit and look for foreign guys, even knowing they will be branded as hookers by the illiterate masses.......

 

[Seaside]

Ill be honest with you knowing Britni past I would never insult her at all id support her and thats the best you can do protect her and just be a friend, I bet you she would be a great friend though.

i would love to bang her. i could be that type of friend but calling her my 'girl'? idk i would need my memory of her blanked and to go live on some island that nobody can ever tell me or i see internet and see her past. but she be a cool friend even without sex with her i support her and hope she stay clean of drug and suicidal stuff.

 

[sleepwalk]

Benefits:

• your wife blows to whale-like proportions within 2-10 months
• divorce costs you half your stuff
• you pay child support for almost 2 decades (weather the kid is yours or not)
• sexy time gets less frequent and becomes dead-fish like: She ain't feeling it, you demand/ask, she ain't feeling it, then a month later after this back and forth, you spend some $$$ or give her allowances, then she's "into it", and lays there like a fish out of water and its like a shitty jack off session
• your money becomes "our money"
• gots to give up your hobbies and friends since that time should be spent with the misses
• you get fat as well. She don't like you going to the gym cause her money pot might get swooped up by a boise dime cardio bunny at your local gym
• You post more on Sherdog

sounds pretty great to me, why wouldn't anyone want it

So, you're saying it all pays off on the end?

 

[sleepwalk]

Even if it's the best present you've ever had and u can play with it daily, doesn't the possibility of better presents out there in the world tempt you?

Another analogy might be: "Why sign an employment contract for a job you want when there might be other, better jobs out there?"

 

[Deleted member 110072]

I don't think you can throw any kind of generalisation around but I think much more of the time its not women looking to someone con or control men though marriage and simply as a mark of comfortity and expectation.

There are plenty of couples where its the correct decision I'm sure but the fear of being seen as a failure for not having the expected marriage, middle class home and 2.4 children is I think a significant drive for some people, chasing that dream when the relationship isn't really deep enough to support it.