Lets talk chimpanzees vs humans

Readybodisready said:
I will copy and paste my post from another thread:

Chimps are not 5 times, or 10 times or even 15 times stronger than humans, that is a known debunked myth, it spawned from a fake zoo story in the 20th century.

Secondly Chimps may look tough when they beat up old ladies like that one known story, but they've never been in a position where they tried to attack an MMA fighter. There is a video where a chimp goes on a rampage on a terrified, fleeing park ranger and it barely was able to pull the guy down. In fact the chimp looked weak as fuck and I would see an MMA fighter tear that ape a new one.

Essentially the only thing dangerous about chimps are it's teeth.


Here's the video. Does this look like an animal that's a jizzilion times stronger than humans? Does anybody have real, scientific studies showing this strength discrepancy? Not the BS story about a female chimp pulling 1000000lbs with one finger please.
Click to expand...


This is the most unintentionally hilarious post I've ever seen.
 
Are you serious TS...? How old are you to start a dumb topic such as this one?
 
Motivated chimp vs game pit? Let's assume Herb Dean is reffing, and Cecil Peoples is not scoring it.
 
IloveTHIS said:
This is my kind of thread.

I've been maintaining for years that chimps are VASTLY overrated. I challenge any of you to look me in the face and tell me that in a fight to the death between PRIME UBEREEM and your average chimp, that the chimp would win...one full force kick to the chimps lower torso/legs and it will try to run for safety..if it even can after that.
Click to expand...

People don't realise how small Chimps actually are. I saw a docu once of a rival chimp who got rushed by a gang of other chimps. They mortally wounded him, broke its spine because they stomped on him. Clearly they're not immune to blunt force trauma. A full force kick or knee from 260lb 6'5 Ubereem? Forgetaboutit.
 
Zookeeper Gabe said:
No matter how badass you are the second the animal gets a slight grip on you it will literally begin peeling your flesh off.
Click to expand...

Do you think the chimp in the video was not in full attack mode? I tend to think a chimp could over power even a HW MMA fighter. I don't know chimp behavior but it looked to me like the chimp was claiming the territory or scaring the man off b/c he wanted the food. Or maybe he just got pissed off. Or maybe they just play really rough.
In any case I think if that chimp had wanted to kill that man he could have. Though I agree with TS that chimps aren't 10x stronger or whatever the claims tend to be.
 
Id like to share a story I've PERSONALLY witnessed that was a small feat of what a chimp is capable of. I had a friend whose family had a lot of money. Dad had a really high paying job and mom did something with animals. They took in a chimp, don't know how old this thing was but it definitely wasn't fully grown yet. Anyhow, they had this really nice workout room with all sorts of equipment, dumbell racks , mirrored walls.......the whole nine yards. So said friend invites me over to see this chimp. Walk in the workout room and this thing is standing there. Something triggered it, not sure what. This fucking thing picked up a 35 lb dumbell and threw it across the room like it was a Goddamn baseball shattering the mirror and going through the wall. If someone told me this story and how easy it did it, I would have a hard time believing it. I saw it with my own eyes. Needless to say, I was out of that house fast as shit. So OP, moral of the story is a chimp would absolutely maul any MMA fighter in any way that it wanted to. Count your blessings that humans have tools/weapons to defend us against animals. Otherwise we'd be fucked.
 
They rip off cucks and the balls!!!

chimpanzee.jpg


Nothing more to be said really.
 
Chimps have crazy grip/arm strength, humans might have more powerful legs but you cant really use your legs to tear flesh, break fingers and take out someones eyeballs, legs can be used for blunt force trauma but are less reliable in a close quarter all out melee fight with a chimpanzee. Chimps are fast, not human kinda fast but more like extreme quickness/explosiveness, like when you see dogs go apeshit and jump and bite a mans face before he can even react.

In a close quarter fight with chimp, the chimp would use his grip/hand strength you rip off your flesh, balls, eyes, fingers and it would do so in surprising speed and efficiency. I also think you are underestimating their level of co-ordination, they may have less fine control of their muscles than a human but a chimp can pick a branch several feet in the air and grab the exact spot he intended and pull himself.

Humans have used our intelligence to make and use tools for 1000s of years, we haven't been swinging from trees, getting into vicious hand to hand fights on a daily basis, living in jungles, etc. Physicality is what they do, mental prowess is what we do.

Chimps are extremely dangerous animals, and can cause an extreme amount of damage to any human in a short amount of time. IMO they have the advantage in a physical altercation.
 
I do wonder how well a chimp would handle a right hand bomb from Hendo.

Plus Couture endorsed Hendo as having the "gorilla grip" once he gets a hold of you.
 
ODYSSEYMEMPHIS said:
Id like to share a story I've PERSONALLY witnessed that was a small feat of what a chimp is capable of. I had a friend whose family had a lot of money. Dad had a really high paying job and mom did something with animals. They took in a chimp, don't know how old this thing was but it definitely wasn't fully grown yet. Anyhow, they had this really nice workout room with all sorts of equipment, dumbell racks , mirrored walls.......the whole nine yards. So said friend invites me over to see this chimp. Walk in the workout room and this thing is standing there. Something triggered it, not sure what. This fucking thing picked up a 35 lb dumbell and threw it across the room like it was a Goddamn baseball shattering the mirror and going through the wall. If someone told me this story and how easy it did it, I would have a hard time believing it. I saw it with my own eyes. Needless to say, I was out of that house fast as shit. So OP, moral of the story is a chimp would absolutely maul any MMA fighter in any way that it wanted to. Count your blessings that humans have tools/weapons to defend us against animals. Otherwise we'd be fucked.
Click to expand...

I'd imagine fighting a chimp would be like fighting a facehugger from the Aliens movies, once its on you its gonna be a bitch to get the mofo off you even if the human might be very strong overall. Its just a bad matchup for humans, we would most likely be fucked.

Now give the human something basic like a small knife and they would have a fighting chance at least.
 
Last edited:
MMAmathwiz said:
I'd imagine fighting a chimp would be like fighting a facehugger from the Aliens movies, once its on you its gonna be a bitch to get the mofo off you even if the human might be very strong overall. Its just a bad matchup for humans, we would most likely be fucked.

Now give the human something basic like a small knife and they would have a fighting chance at least.
Click to expand...

If they got a knife it's game over for the chimp, you stab him in the heart or eye and hes dead just like we would be.
 
cmw43 said:
If they got a knife it's game over for the chimp, you stab him in the heart or eye and hes dead just like we would be.
Click to expand...

Maybe, it depends on who gets the first strike, with an enraged chimp even if you have a knife you are almost 90% likely to receive damage before you can stab him. If the chimp gets the first strike the human may drop the knife or be incapacitated from the shock and pain, but will most likely be fighting on survival instincts and start stabbing the chimp. It may take a few stabs before the chimp backs off because higher pain theshold and adrenaline, unless you stab him in a vital spot like the eyes/neck etc.
 
Doesn't matter how big of a person you put up against a chimp; they still gonna rip the genitals off in one fell swoop.
 
bad seed said:
Click to expand...


This is the most insane thing I've ever seen.

After laughing at previous posts in other threads I was already warmed up. This had me howling.

Fortunately I could show my missus this.

She was bemused.
 
Chimps are significantly stronger than humans, never mind quantifying it with a multiplier. Their muscles perform differently than ours and are more dense.

Any human being without experience around them is going to be stunned and surprised by the quickness, ferocity, and aggression with which the attack on them takes place. It's going to grab onto them like it does a tree limb, displaying sheer brute force and wild violence.

Even a prime Ubereem would have to land the perfect nuke, under intense pressure, to deter an angry and committed Chimp. The odds aren't good, but I suppose a human could get lucky.
 
I'd fuck up a chimp easy. I'd bite their dicks off and eat it
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,280,658
Messages
58,308,958
Members
175,998
Latest member
joshvegas

Share this page

Back
Top