Let's make puns

[fungi]

You seem like a fun guy, @fungi.

 

[MeatWagon06]

You seem like a fun guy, @fungi.

Oh lord please don’t go off again.

 

[Hotora86]

- What does the young terrorist say to the old terrorist?
- OK boomer

 

[badascan]

let'snot cause in these slimes things like this can go viral...

 

[zapataxiv]

A pun... a big pun..
I’m not a player hater, I just get irrationally angry and triggered by other people’s successes a lot.

 

[fungi]

A new one that I came up with recently:

"Maintain your social diss stance!"

The farther, the better.

My personal successfully aimed spitting diss stance is over 15 ft. I can even go for 20+. That gives me just enough headstart to turn and move in the opposite direction, if the target of my viral attack happens to be a "Super Sherdogger". They are the rarest of folk.
Chances of meeting one are slim & shady, butt... justine case.

The closest I'd allow a mofo to approach me is the length of my left jab. If teh jab won't stop a mofo, my uppercut* will.

* - My uppercut hand may or may not contain a brick, a rock, a brass, or some other unidentified items. Contact my lawyers for more information.

Side effects of direct exposure to my jab and/or uppercut may include, but not limited to:
headache, nausea, vomiting, death, dizziness, vaginal ejaculations, dysentery, cardiac arrhythmia, mild heart explosions, varicose veins, darkened stool, darkened soul, lycanthropy, trucanthropy, more vomiting, arteriosclerosis, hemorrhoids, diabeetus, virginity, mild discomfort, vampirism, gender impermanence, spontaneous dental hydroplosion, sugar high, even more vomiting, brown, your mom, and mild rash."

 

[Hotora86]

A new one that I came up with recently:

"Maintain your social diss stance!"

My social diss stance is this:

Ppl generally get the message and back off.

 

[Phlog]

Behold. Your king:

 

[fungi]

My social diss stance is this:

Ppl generally get the message and back off.

These days, all I have to say is: "Ahem, should I sneeze, or are you gonna move your ass?.."

I have found that people become very polite and understanding, once I act socially conscientiously.

 

[Hotora86]

Behold. Your king:

I almost turned it off half way... but I persevered... despite all this sounding very ... fishy.

 

[Hotora86]

These days, all I have to say is: "Ahem, should I sneeze, or are you gonna move your ass?.."

I have found that people become very polite and understanding, once I act socially conscientiously.

My brother in law takes out his phone and starts a conversation about his recent holiday in Italy. People run like pigs from a gun.

 

[Hotora86]

When PRIDE was held in Japan, there was one fighter whom the Japanese would always transport to the country by ship, instead of by airplane.

That fighter's name was Don Frye.

 

[Alphaboy]

I told myself that I wasn't gonna make an anal sex joke... butt fuck it.

 

[Hotora86]

Bananas without the B are a pineapple.

 

[Hotora86]

- What do you call killing a chickpea?
- Hummuside.

 

[Hotora86]

- Why did the chickpea break his leg?
- He falafel down the stairs.

 

[Hotora86]

- What if a male chickpea likes another male chickpea?
- He's hummusexual.

 

[Hotora86]

 

[fungi]

UK's top chef's buns

Spoiler: Clean and fresh from the shower

...

 

[tonysmasseuse]

UK's top chef's buns

Much better than puns

specially fresh outa da oven