Let's make puns

Did you guys hear about the tickle me-Elmo dolls? They won't laugh after being tickled.

So the engineers had a recall, did some testing and found out the issue.

Before they sent them out they had to give them two test tickles
 
Did you hear about the guy who was shot with a track starter pistol?
Police say it was race-related.
The shooter said he had to do it because he "crossed the line."
 
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I'm jelly. I mint to do something like this but you got to it before I could leaf work. I guess I artichoke it less and rice earlier in the day to beet you to the punch.
 
But lettuce not mince words, buns are the yeast of our worries and more power to you; don't stew about it, dumpling.
 
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- What did the fish get on her wedding day?
- Herring.
 
- How much space does the EU gain after Brexit?
- 1 GB.
 
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road...'
 
Why did a blind man fall into a well?
He couldn't see that well....
 
Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
 
Not a pun, butt...

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.

After it wouldn't wash off. This morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
 
Not a pun, butt...

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.

After it wouldn't wash off. This morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
Reminds me of,

The other day, I spilled spot remover and now I can't find my dog.

Edit: I may have said that one already ITT, so sue me.
 
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My father was mowing the lawn and all of a sudden he started breaking down in tears.

I asked him “Dad, what’s wrong?”. He said “nothing son, I’m just going through a rough patch!”
 
(read in James Hetfield voice)
All my flour I put in you
Then I add an egg or two
Milk and butter and sugar too
And MUFFIN else matters!
 
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