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I split my time between Montreal, Beirut and Toronto for business. I am single with no kids and do pretty well for myself.
Anyways, I have a GF in Lebanon, we have been dating on and off for a year, its pretty casual. We meet up when I am in town for 3 months of the year, and we are basically together while we are there.
I meet her parents several times and we all get along great even though I am not an Arab Christian, I am a Christian (Catholic non practising) and they are fine with that.
So, here is the problem.....
SHE IS PREGNANT!!! - I DO NOT WANT KIDS - NOR DO I WANT TO LIVE FULL TIME IN LEBANON WHICH SHE IS HINTING AT!!!!
What should I do !?!
Tough spot to be in.
I see everyone is being thoughtful on their replies here.
Just remember folks, this is a trauma for many, and they all have their valid reasons to feel that way.
Its a contentious topic that's gets people triggered like few topics can.
Its a complex situation, that is loaded with societal baggage.
I would first, largely disregard any of the simplistic jaded reactions that you may get. Just remember you are in an extremely vulnerable state and bad advise abounds, including from family, friends and the well intentioned.
People will try to shame. Its to be expected when you are thinking of your future (the dirty word "selfishness"). People will hang you on that sometimes.
I feel for you and those involved.
Not trying to plant seeds of doubt, but do you know if this was just an "oopsey baby" for sure?
Have you already had a sit down with everyone?
What are everyone's initial thoughts?
How are you going to determine the child is yours?
Do you love this girl?
If you went ahead with it, how much with this potentially change the life you had envisioned for yourself?
Have you, or her brought up the "family planing option"? Abortion?
Whats the best, and worst case scenario right now, and or moving ahead?
Put all your options on the table and exerciser them.....and it goes without saying, "its not all about you" treat everyone involved with care.
Try going for a good walk and sort out some thoughts, try not to set up any hard parameters for how you will approach this, or commit to hasty decisions.
Find some supportive and non- judgmental people to surround yourself with.
Check out support orgs, groups or counselors in the neighborhood, or scour the web for a forum more suitable than this one. Something focused on family health and not www.kickemdownthestairs.com
People that force anything at you hard, you need to take a step back from. Respect, empathy, and honesty are a big deal in this situation.