I knocked up a woman in another country

randysyatt said:
I split my time between Montreal, Beirut and Toronto for business. I am single with no kids and do pretty well for myself.

Anyways, I have a GF in Lebanon, we have been dating on and off for a year, its pretty casual. We meet up when I am in town for 3 months of the year, and we are basically together while we are there.

I meet her parents several times and we all get along great even though I am not an Arab Christian, I am a Christian (Catholic non practising) and they are fine with that.

So, here is the problem.....

SHE IS PREGNANT!!! - I DO NOT WANT KIDS - NOR DO I WANT TO LIVE FULL TIME IN LEBANON WHICH SHE IS HINTING AT!!!!

What should I do !?!
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Tough spot to be in.
I see everyone is being thoughtful on their replies here.
Just remember folks, this is a trauma for many, and they all have their valid reasons to feel that way.

Its a contentious topic that's gets people triggered like few topics can.
Its a complex situation, that is loaded with societal baggage.

I would first, largely disregard any of the simplistic jaded reactions that you may get. Just remember you are in an extremely vulnerable state and bad advise abounds, including from family, friends and the well intentioned.

People will try to shame. Its to be expected when you are thinking of your future (the dirty word "selfishness"). People will hang you on that sometimes.

I feel for you and those involved.

Not trying to plant seeds of doubt, but do you know if this was just an "oopsey baby" for sure?
Have you already had a sit down with everyone?
What are everyone's initial thoughts?
How are you going to determine the child is yours?
Do you love this girl?
If you went ahead with it, how much with this potentially change the life you had envisioned for yourself?
Have you, or her brought up the "family planing option"? Abortion?
Whats the best, and worst case scenario right now, and or moving ahead?

Put all your options on the table and exerciser them.....and it goes without saying, "its not all about you" treat everyone involved with care.

Try going for a good walk and sort out some thoughts, try not to set up any hard parameters for how you will approach this, or commit to hasty decisions.
Find some supportive and non- judgmental people to surround yourself with.
Check out support orgs, groups or counselors in the neighborhood, or scour the web for a forum more suitable than this one. Something focused on family health and not www.kickemdownthestairs.com

People that force anything at you hard, you need to take a step back from. Respect, empathy, and honesty are a big deal in this situation.
 
randysyatt said:
Please, the closest you have ever been to a twat is your mum's when you were on your way out.
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Keep telling yourself that. BTW tell your mom she needs to shave for I am still pulling pubes out of my mouth.
 
randysyatt said:
For business - I run a small risk management company that specializes in kidnapping and terror reinsurance.

I also speak Arabic.
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Even you have to admit, that's funny.
I hope you still have it in you to rib yourself. I'm sure its past your mind.

And for the "specializes in kidnapping" I will let others go there.
 
randysyatt said:
For business - I run a small risk management company that specializes in kidnapping and terror reinsurance.

I also speak Arabic.
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Reinsurance? All you actually need is this guy:

tumblr_macib3Z8fB1rb0grho1_1280.jpg
 
Google "unplanned pregnancy" and go from there.

Dudes here will give empathetic advise for pets, and heart felt shout outs to Randleman.... but this....not a chance.
You are right up there with terrorist, child molester and tax dodger apparently.
 
Guess you'll have to haul the kid and ball n chain all over with you from now on. Congrats bro
 
COMMUNITY said:
Even you have to admit, that's funny.
I hope you still have it in you to rib yourself. I'm sure its past your mind.

And for the "specializes in kidnapping" I will let others go there.
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I know - I know.. Well, I took a calculated risk... The Poonan or the latex condom... I guess I should have consulted my actuaries prior.
 
Oh man I am so glad I'm not you right now
 
Manage your stress in the most healthful way you can.
I think there are a couple of threads here recently on stress and panic, maybe check them out.

Don't despair and be gentle on yourself.

Surround yourself with good people and environments.
Engage in positive actions. Keep moving.

Your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health are paramount.
Cant make good decisions, or help anyone else without that intact.
 
You should celebrate. Didn't you hear from other fathers trapped in Marriage and fatherhood that it's the greatest experience ever? You'll be so fulfilled and happy that you'll never know why you enjoyed the freedom of making your own choices and the touch of a new women.

Having less money is cool too.
As they always say "It's a lot of work, but they're worth it :("

So feel good buddy, you'll never have to worry about impressing another female again.
 
Enjoy fatherhood!!
 
Congrats, your future child will have a thick monobrow.
 
randysyatt said:
SHE IS PREGNANT!!! - I DO NOT WANT KIDS - NOR DO I WANT TO LIVE FULL TIME IN LEBANON WHICH SHE IS HINTING AT!!!!

What should I do !?!
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You know that old saying if you cant do the time dont do the crime ? Doesnt matter if you want kids or not at this point. You dont have to move in with her and be with her if you dont want but that kid is gonna need you and your are going to have to support it.

Time to be a man ya know
 
I think you better do a maternity test and make sure its the correct mommy.
 
oldshadow said:
If your sure the kid is yours then it's the right thing and I wish you the best of luck.

That's a hard way to start a marriage and you both will have to work at it.
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eh...If he cares for her, sure. Don't start a sham of a family when that's not what anyone wants. You can support and be a father without being married.
 
You should probably put this on the baby shower list:

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