Having kids...

[NAKMUAY18]

They say a father doesn't really become one until the baby is born so the fact that you felt nothing isn't unusual. My wife is non-stop talking about the baby (she's 8 months pregnant) and while he's on my mind a lot I'm just more in the focused get shit done to make it easier on us when he does come mode. I'm not saying I'm not excited but I'm a little more focused on practicality.

Dont get too carried away. Never enough is finished, and you wont be ready. Fuck it off and enjoy your you time. Your better off being rested and ready to go. After a tiny xenomorph rips open your wifes vagina, you're on point for the next week

 

[TeTe]

I just read an interesting article from New York Magazine that surveyed men and women about having kids and it looks like a higher percentage of women didn't want them compared to men. Not surprised really, with women focusing on careers and education more these days.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/men-wa...en-new-york-magazine-article-affirms-studies/

 

[Kaybee]

In theory, I would like to have kids but I am not sure that I could make the sacrifices required to be a parent. I am quite selfish about my free time, and obviously that would have to change to have kids, so it would have to be a very ideal situation with someone who is a legit life partner or it just wouldn't work.

I am only 25 so I do have quite a bit of time anyways, and even though I am the oldest cousin on both sides of the family by 5 and 6 years I am not getting badgered much about it yet.

 

[HunterSdVa29]

I disagree entirely, although i felt that way before my kid was born ( i was notorious for calling kids '18 year mooches').

But no, in reality it's not like that. It's hard to explain, but even the most selfish or self centered person is changed by having a child. You automatically, unless just a massive POS, have to account for someone else's well being. And not like a significant other that is an adult and can presumably handle their own biz, but someone entirely dependent on you for survival.

I think b/c of the empathy and sense of nurturing that promulgates, a sense of pride and joy develops as the child ages and you observe certain milestones. It all sounds corny, but having children (if you can afford it, obviously) or even just one child can totally change your life for the better if planned properly.

Plus kids are hilarious. My dude told me he wish they had black colored Mike & Ikes, and when i asked which flavor that could possibly be this dude responds "Burnt Quesadilla, that's my favorite' wtf hahaha

 

[TeTe]

Like marriage, having kids is also not for everyone. It really depends on each individual family. Saying it's good or bad to have kids outright ignores how complicated it is.

It's tough when you come from a bloodline of mental illness and addiction to see the value in it. It think my uncle realizes this too and never had kids. People talk about responsibility and paying it forward, but it's tough to see the value in that when you don't even know your father and your mother loses custody of you when you're 12 years old because of her alcohol and abuse issues.

It's easy to say when you have young children how wonderful it is to raise them when they are innocent and impressionable. But they get older and become their own people and sometimes they don't turn out the way you'd like despite your best efforts. I've seen it in my family (lack of effort with my family) and among other's families.. Good families turning out teenagers that get caught up in drugs and run away from home, they commit suicide, go to prison, suffer from mental illness, etc. or their kids just flat out ignore their parents and want nothing to do with them.

 

[Brandon Wilson]

Good. Idiots like the TS shouldn't breed anyway.

 

[Oeshon]

I took the training wheels off of my daughters bike Saturday and she probably went 75 yds first try. Then Sunday my 3.5 month old son tried baby food for the time and I got to see his face light up

I’m about to turn 40 and they’re the only things that give me absolute happiness at this point in life. We’ve got a few friends that say they don’t want kids, I hope their next few years are worth it because I’ve never met someone close to the end of their life that never had kids and didn’t sound like they regretted it once it was too late

The good thing as a guy is that it is never really too late. You can easily start a family in your 30s, 40s, or even 50s.

 

[blitzk]

is overrated and in general drastically lowers your quality of life. Anyone who argues against this is deluded. Between the sleep deprivation, additional cost of living including insane daycare prices, and dealing with tantrums several times a day, missing obligations because no sitter, etc; children in no way bring joy to one’s life.

Change. My. Mind.

This is kind of how I've felt all my life, I never wanted to have kids. I've lived by myself since I was 17 and have become selfish with very few responsibilities and a pretty nice life.

However, I recently learned that my GF is pregnant. We decided to have it, so I'm giving it my all to embrace this new stage of my life with a positive attitude and kind of leave all those ideas behind and to change the expectations about the life I thought I'd have.

We're 5 months pregnant at this point and I have made great progress in terms of how I feel and not having any resentment or regret. Part of me is excited and I've been very supportive and involved and our families and friends have been as well and that makes a big difference to me.
We're both in our 30s and I make a decent living, so money is not a big issue, although I did have to make some adjustments like cancel the sports package, the maid and stuff like that but nothing major and it's only for a few months.

Anyways, I do agree to some extent to what TS said, however, it's up to you how you choose to approach life with or without kids. I believe that each and everyone of us has the ability to be happy, regardless or income, marital status, job or any other circumstance. We can all be happy, today, as is. So, yeah, having kids comes with all that, but it will also give you other experiences that otherwise you wouldn't get to enjoy. So even with those nuisances, you can live a full, happy life.

 

[DarkneT]

Nah I disagree

It’s stressful as fuck, tiring as fuck and expensive as fuck

But if you don’t want to have kids because it’s ‘hard work’ you must be a little bitch

It’s the most rewarding thing you can do in life
And honestly, for me at least it was the right time
Life was getting boring
Holidays a couple times a year? Same old shit
Ooh a new car! Oh it’s same as any other car really...

Don’t be a pussy

 

[Mcountry]

Nah I disagree

It’s stressful as fuck, tiring as fuck and expensive as fuck

But if you don’t want to have kids because it’s ‘hard work’ you must be a little bitch

It’s the most rewarding thing you can do in life
And honestly, for me at least it was the right time
Life was getting boring
Holidays a couple times a year? Same old shit
Ooh a new car! Oh it’s same as any other car really...

Don’t be a pussy

We are raising a generation of selfish, self absorbed, lazy - entitled little babies. Raising a baby? That gets in the way of shallow tinder dates or CoD. Nobody knows how to have an actual rewarding relationship with the opposite sex, nor raise a child.

This is progress apparently!

 

[HeffDoesWant]

Its am emotional rollercoaster for sure but I'm glad I had mine.

Toughest and best thing I've done.

 

[DarkneT]

We are raising a generation of selfish, self absorbed, lazy - entitled little babies. Raising a baby? That gets in the way of shallow tinder dates or CoD. Nobody knows how to have an actual rewarding relationship with the opposite sex, nor raise a child.

This is progress apparently!

Yeah it’s a weird dynamic from the younger generation, I see it in close family
Life is just very selfish

It’s all about how much stuff we can accumulate and post pictures of on the internet
A generation of self survivalists to be more exact
No one has time for anyone other than a text or a ‘like’ here and there.
And you want to ask these people like TS to devote 16 years of their lives to raising children? HAH!
Scary and equal parts sad

 

[Deleted member 335905]

Probably for the best that you stick to your conviction on this one. Self-centred pricks make the worst parents.

This Xs 1000

Having kids and raising them into becoming incredible human beings has been the greatest thing that ever happened to me. They make my life so much more rich and fullfilling.

 

[sirtapsalot]

The best part of being a dad is your commute to work. Its the pont at which you are furthest away from seeing your kids.

 

[TeTe]

The best part of being a dad is your commute to work. Its the pont at which you are furthest away from seeing your kids.

<45><45>

 

[2DUM2TAP]

I have a 13 year old son and an 11 year old daughter.... dont know what I would do not being at the rink 4 nights a week and with all that extra money....

 

[lowlife]

Seems like a lot of people took this one personally, doing their best to insult TS..why though? Having kids is not for everyone, people that realize this before bringing an unwanted life into this world should be applauded, not ridiculed. I suspect some of you are not as happy with your choices as you want others to believe.

 

[Chris Gaines]

This is kind of how I've felt all my life, I never wanted to have kids. I've lived by myself since I was 17 and have become selfish with very few responsibilities and a pretty nice life.

However, I recently learned that my GF is pregnant. We decided to have it, so I'm giving it my all to embrace this new stage of my life with a positive attitude and kind of leave all those ideas behind and to change the expectations about the life I thought I'd have.

We're 5 months pregnant at this point and I have made great progress in terms of how I feel and not having any resentment or regret. Part of me is excited and I've been very supportive and involved and our families and friends have been as well and that makes a big difference to me.
We're both in our 30s and I make a decent living, so money is not a big issue, although I did have to make some adjustments like cancel the sports package, the maid and stuff like that but nothing major and it's only for a few months.

Anyways, I do agree to some extent to what TS said, however, it's up to you how you choose to approach life with or without kids. I believe that each and everyone of us has the ability to be happy, regardless or income, marital status, job or any other circumstance. We can all be happy, today, as is. So, yeah, having kids comes with all that, but it will also give you other experiences that otherwise you wouldn't get to enjoy. So even with those nuisances, you can live a full, happy life.

Get your sleep now while you still can.

 

[CoolB]

The only way your mind will change is if you go and have your own kids.

It worked for me

 

[panamaican]

is overrated and in general drastically lowers your quality of life. Anyone who argues against this is deluded. Between the sleep deprivation, additional cost of living including insane daycare prices, and dealing with tantrums several times a day, missing obligations because no sitter, etc; children in no way bring joy to one’s life.

Change. My. Mind.

Easy.

Secretly get someone else's wife pregnant. Now you have kids and none of the headache.