During freshman year at the aforementioned high school I had home room with James. He wasn't 'officially' retarded, but he was in the special classes because he was very special. He also had an obsession with being the quarterback for our schools football team.
*Bright Idea enters Bert's head*
"Hey James, if you want to be quarterback you're going to have to strengthen your throwing arm." I then turned around in my desk to face him.
I told him to put his right arm on the desk as if he was going to armwrestle me. I explained that I would pull against his arm while he pulled towards his face. James was all in. I held his hand for about 10 seconds while he strained and shook. I let his hand go and the tard hit himself so hard in face he fell out of his chair. It was almost immediately apparent that James's eye was going to be awesomely black.
Bart got in school suspension.