Buddy got caught jerking it at work

[Dusty Rhodes]

Looks like your buddy doesnt know when to quit

 

[bandicoot]

after i got back to our office, from staying out all night at one dealership, i jerked one out in the bathroom lol. and this was before surveillance cameras all over the place.

Yeah, I miss the good old days when there weren't cameras in all the office bathrooms.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Miner caught jerking off. One letter change makes that sentence a Federal crime on the computer.

nothing could be finer than to shack up with a miner

 

[HUGHPHUG]

pics of boss

 

[Provocateur]

Ok the best bet to get out of this is just deny it ever happened. If there is no video then it's just his word against his supervisors. I'd just say I realized my zipper was down and I was trying to zip it back up but it was stuck so I had to keep tugging at it. Then the supervisor walked up and got the total wrong idea.

 

[lifelessheap]

I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day. Once in the morning, right after I work out, then once right after lunch. I want to. That's not why I do it. I do it 'cause I fucking *need* to. Think about it. You're dealing with numbers. All day long, decimal points, high frequencies. Bang, bang, bang. fucking digits. All very acidic above-the-shoulders mustard shit. All right? It kind of wigs some people out. Right? You gotta feed the geese to keep the blood flowing. I keep the rhythm below the belt. This is not a tip, this is a prescription. Trust me. If you don't, you will fall out of balance, split your differential and tip the fuck over. Or worse yet, I've seen this happen, implode. Implosions are ugly. Pop off to the bathroom, work one out any time you can. When you get really good at it, you'll fucking be stroking and you'll be thinking about money.

Replace 2x with 5x+ and now we're talking

 

[HUGHPHUG]

does anyone find the term 'miner' could be used for a single act of self pleasuring?
" I was home alone that day as work was closed for the shutdown. My wife took the kids to the park. I fired up the internet and decided to give myself a 'miner'.

except for some of us it would be a major

 

[Tone C]

Nope , never.

 

[MusclesMarinara]

except for some of us it would be a major

So close...

 

[HUGHPHUG]

So close...

story of my life

 

[Javelina]

what a clever way to ask for a gif of us jerking off

 

[Jack Handy jr]

My buddy called me today and told me he got caught cracking one off a work today, said he’s got a meeting next week thinks he’s gonna get canned. Anyone got any funny gifs I can send him lol

Amateur

 

[Goon Dog]

Tell him to wait until after January 20, then have him tell HR that he is trans and wanted one last jerk before wang removal. Threaten to go to the ACLU if they don't keep him and expunge his work record. Guaranteed results.

 

[TestosterOWN]

Not reading the whole thread. Where the hell was he jerking it? Not in the bathroom?

 

[IIIIIIII]

Yeah, I miss the good old days when there weren't cameras in all the office bathrooms.

haha, well i meant more like cameras seeing me going into the bathroom, and generally being there late. i guess it was more in my head that i could have been watched lol

 

[Sharkhunter]

Union gig he has his time off so won’t be until his next scheduled shift

ouch, losing a union gig for rubbing one out

 

[Spounman]

Anyone got any funny gifs I can send him lol

 

[Seeahtik]

what a clever way to ask for a gif of us jerking off

I'm not falling for that again

 

[snowbro]

Lol @ meeting next week. Quit motherfucker. How u gon show your face there after that?

Unless when he got caught he looked them in the eyes and finished. Thats a power move.

 

[Halifax]

That's fucking hilarious. He could not wait till he was off work to rub one out?


First rule of work. Never break rules that could lead to instant firing. Don't even chance it. He blew it. Probably literally as well as figuratively