WTF is up with this girl?

[SwtTeaStrangler]

I'll try to make this as tl;dr as possible.

Start new job.
Girl intiates contact several times, gives signs of interest.
I ask her out tonight, she says no.
I ask her a few more times, just to see if she's playing around or whatever. She's not though she was still giving physical signs.

That's cool, no biggie. We talk for a few more minutes, everything's cool. During that time I started making other plans for tonight. We go back to work.
Few minutes later looks like she's about to cry (even the manager was asking if she was okay and checking on her).
Saw her later on coming over to my department looking like she was trying to find me. (Extra info: I'm the only one that works in that department. We were closed, and she's just a cashier. No reason for her to leave her post or be in that area).
Looked upset the rest of the night.
Once we were going to clock out started acting like the way she did before we started talking and before I asked her out (standing close to me, playing with her hair, smiling at me and trying to get my attention.
Got to my car, called my buddies and headed out for the night. Fin.

So yeah, I don't even know. Maybe you guys can help me. My first thought was that she might've been trying to "neg" me, but she comes across a bit socially awkward. Her reason for not going out was she wanted to stay at home and play with her cat, and she had laundry to do. That just makes her seem lame or like she's being a b****. Like I'm not worth her time or whatever. Which I could see me deserving if I was coming across like I'm cocky or a player but I was being chill. But it's sort of 50/50 cause she kind of pwned herself too. It would be like some girl offering me sex and I say "no thanks, I'm gonna go home and fap". Yeah it's kind of mean to her, but makes me look pretty bad too, especially if she was being cool.

My next thought, and just being completely honest with myself, is she just flat out wasn't interested and I just misread everything. Which is cool. And I can accept that. But I don't understand why she would start crying then. It's not like we were "friends" or work buddies for months on end, and then like a lonely virgin I confessed my love for her and now she's been thrown into turmoil. We talked a few times. I thought she might've liked me. She obviously didn't. Okay, whatever. Now she's bipolar I guess.

Oh and I wasn't a dick to her or anything after she rejected me either. Like I said, we chatted for a few minutes after that and when I went back to work I backed off a bit. I didn't cold shoulder her or get all butthurt. I was still friendly. Still smiled at her and acknowledged her but her mood also changed within minutes. It wasn't like she started crying an hour or two later and it's something unrelated. It was within 5-10 minutes of us finishing up talking. And then she was moody the rest of the night up until we left and she tried to be cute with me again.

Any advice/opinions/criticisms are welcome.

Feels like you're leaving something important out here.

She was probably better off washing her hair.

 

[xbone19]

she wanted you to grab her ass dummy, a nice slap. not too hard and not too soft.

 

[Madmick]

Sounds like you need to put her on the D.E.N.N.I.S. system

 

[NHB7]

Interest on your part. My guess is that you took her interest as a go ahead to be a little more 'thirsty' than she wanted. So she shut you down when you asked... You went back to being aloof and the interest piqued once more...

It's really just how it goes man. You have to know when to reciprocate that interest. If it's too early, too much or even worse... both, then you're going to get the result you got initially.

Keep her on the hook. Be nice, be a gentleman, but don't reciprocate her interest... In fact, do the opposite. Let her do the work... She will, I promise.

Cheers.

Pretty well stated.

Also, I don't know her so I can't make this judgement, but I've certainly met women who literally don't know how to communicate with men without being flirtatious so a lot of men feel confused by them. "Is she interested or not?" Answer, no, that is just how she communicates with men.

 

[Dizzy]

Interest on your part. My guess is that you took her interest as a go ahead to be a little more 'thirsty' than she wanted. So she shut you down when you asked... You went back to being aloof and the interest piqued once more...

It's really just how it goes man. You have to know when to reciprocate that interest. If it's too early, too much or even worse... both, then you're going to get the result you got initially.

Keep her on the hook. Be nice, be a gentleman, but don't reciprocate her interest... In fact, do the opposite. Let her do the work... She will, I promise.

Cheers.

Solid advice.

You lost me with all the cliched/generic PUA advice in your subsequent posts though.

 

[Slick_36]

This reminds me of a friend of mine who just never gets laid... and even worse, never learns his lesson.

Ugh, I've got a friend who does the exact same thing, it's fucking heartbreaking. He tries to play it off like it's all good, but it's painfully obvious it's grinding him down. Not like I'm pulling ass left and right either, but he's just on a whole other level. I guess he tries to build these friendships with girls and then spends like 4 to 6 months playing the long game hoping they'll just fall in love or something, meanwhile these chicks are probably getting plenty of college action. I really don't know if he's just too afraid to initiate a girl for more than friendship or if he's just dead set on finding the love of his life through some long awkward friendship building.

 

[aldeniro78]

Could've saved myself the time of reading the OP and just said she's nuts and I would've been right.

She's nuts.

 

[Bukowski82]

You also might not be first choice. Women like to keep a fishtank. You know, like in competitive fishing, where you can only keep so many fish, and you throw back the smaller ones as you pick up bigger ones. Some are better at wielding tanks with bigger inventories, but they're all limited by time in the day (so to speak).

Some like to take out their "less catches" and play with the more. Fun for the fish. But you're still not the trophy- not the first choice. Yep, that's right. We're trophies to them, too. Sexual strategies go both ways.


Or, hell, she might be playing hard to get, or not trying to seem easy. Who the fuck knows with women.

This is absolutely true...

 

[Bukowski82]

Solid advice.

You lost me with all the cliched/generic PUA advice in your subsequent posts though.

Thanks and I agree with you... They are generic. But it really is that simple.

Like most things in life, there is no strategy, secret or self help book (Looking at you Neil Strauss) that only a few people know about that is going to increase your chances of getting laid. It only seems that way because most people have zero self-control. It's like anything else. It's just all about the basics... the fundamentals. Wanna be a great basketball player? Learn the basics and build from there. Don't just start practicing dunks a la Lebron James. Because the truth is you'll never be a Lebron James.

The trick with Women as well is simply employing these fundamentals without doing what comes natural for a lot of guys, which is to try for immediate gratification by jumping the gun on the situation... Do them and you'll increase your chances exponentially regardless of your situation. Don't do them and you'll likely have a lot of girlfriends... But they'll be more interested in talking about the guys they're actually into over tea at Starbucks.

 

[Bukowski82]

Ugh, I've got a friend who does the exact same thing, it's fucking heartbreaking. He tries to play it off like it's all good, but it's painfully obvious it's grinding him down. Not like I'm pulling ass left and right either, but he's just on a whole other level. I guess he tries to build these friendships with girls and then spends like 4 to 6 months playing the long game hoping they'll just fall in love or something, meanwhile these chicks are probably getting plenty of college action. I really don't know if he's just too afraid to initiate a girl for more than friendship or if he's just dead set on finding the love of his life through some long awkward friendship building.

That's brutal, man.

Reminds me of: [YT]RyTdSKZ8GLo[/YT]

 

[Bukowski82]

Pretty well stated.

Also, I don't know her so I can't make this judgement, but I've certainly met women who literally don't know how to communicate with men without being flirtatious so a lot of men feel confused by them. "Is she interested or not?" Answer, no, that is just how she communicates with men.

Ahhh, the Axis-2 Disorder Girls... A personal favorite of mine.

Daddy issues, ftw. :icon_twis

 

[Viva]

Interest on your part. My guess is that you took her interest as a go ahead to be a little more 'thirsty' than she wanted. So she shut you down when you asked... You went back to being aloof and the interest piqued once more...

It's really just how it goes man. You have to know when to reciprocate that interest. If it's too early, too much or even worse... both, then you're going to get the result you got initially.

Keep her on the hook. Be nice, be a gentleman, but don't reciprocate her interest... In fact, do the opposite. Let her do the work... She will, I promise.

Cheers.

Yep.

People love playing these silly little games.

 

[ralphc1]

Bitches be crazy, brah.:icon_chee

This is pretty much the answer to any question involving females.

 

[BEER]

Ugh, I've got a friend who does the exact same thing, it's fucking heartbreaking. He tries to play it off like it's all good, but it's painfully obvious it's grinding him down. Not like I'm pulling ass left and right either, but he's just on a whole other level. I guess he tries to build these friendships with girls and then spends like 4 to 6 months playing the long game hoping they'll just fall in love or something, meanwhile these chicks are probably getting plenty of college action. I really don't know if he's just too afraid to initiate a girl for more than friendship or if he's just dead set on finding the love of his life through some long awkward friendship building.

This is just weird, and so many guys do it. You don't get brownie points for being a "nice guy", and if the only reason you're friends with a girl is with hopes to eventually date/fuck, you're not really nice to begin with.

 

[dawnslayer]

It would be like some girl offering me sex and I say "no thanks, I'm gonna go home and fap".

im gonna try this out

 

[-AsianGuy-]

the problem here is that you picked up a PUA book or internet read and you think you got game.

If you did what the PUA did and followed the steps you should of gotten her out by now. You can't do half the system and not the other half.

You got her talking to you great. You haven't got her intrigued enough by you to accept your date offer. You probably need to build your self value in her eyes.

Sounds like you work at Macy's or something. You have any hot friends bringing you lunch? Or coming to say hi? Even another dude thanking you or talking bout the crazy party you were at may help.

I don't like girls with volatile emotions. Sounds like trouble at work. Some girls like the attention of a guy to fill their ego. Then they go off feeling good about themselves. They come back to you for a refill after it has worn off.

Instead of asking her out after work tone it down. Try and get the same break time and see if she wants to break with you. If you do it right she may become more comfortable to accept an out of work date.

 

[Goonerview]

Two things:

1: No, it's not.

2: The reason she wouldn't give him that is the same reason you start threads on the subject. You have a disconnect with what it takes to land quality Women. Hint: It does not involve aggressively asking them out as soon as they show an interest in you and then staying home drinking PBR and trying to convince yourself that you getting shot down was 'better than making no move at all' while hanging out with your cat.

And there's no need to psycho-analyze anything. You're right about one thing... The girl wants attention. The quickest way to not get in her pants is giving her that attention.

Ok, my initial posts ITT was while I was a little drunk and have since re-read the OP

1. Ok, saw that he works with this chick 5 days a week, so, probably not a good idea to ask her out on a date. I think he also asked her out multiple times?? Yeh, not a good idea.

2. Maybe the TS was a bit aggressive in this particular situation, but looking back at all of my ex-GFs, I don't think I have ever got with a girl by completely ignoring them and showing them zero attention, whatsoever. I understand that you can't just put it all out there and make yourself too available and you need to tease them in ...

Looking back at all of the chicks I have ever been with, I got with them by ACTUALLY asking them out, eventually inviting them round to my crib for a DVD/pizza. You can play the game and ****-tease them all you like for months on end, but EVENTUALLY, you should ask them out if you want to get anywhere, keep it casual.

The girl in the OP probably has a BF and sounds like WAY too much trouble IMO. TS should just be friendly, but absolutely not pursue her anymore

In relation to the thread, I asked out a chick from work on my last day at my saturday job last week, result: she said yes, gave me her number and we got a cheeky date lined up this Friday! We'll see how it goes! haha

 

[fightingrabbit]

Ok, my initial posts ITT was while I was a little drunk and have since re-read the OP

1. Ok, saw that he works with this chick 5 days a week, so, probably not a good idea to ask her out on a date. I think he also asked her out multiple times?? Yeh, not a good idea.

2. Maybe the TS was a bit aggressive in this particular situation, but looking back at all of my ex-GFs, I don't think I have ever got with a girl by completely ignoring them and showing them zero attention, whatsoever. I understand that you can't just put it all out there and make yourself too available and you need to tease them in ...

Looking back at all of the chicks I have ever been with, I got with them by ACTUALLY asking them out, eventually inviting them round to my crib for a DVD/pizza. You can play the game and ****-tease them all you like for months on end, but EVENTUALLY, you should ask them out if you want to get anywhere, keep it casual.

The girl in the OP probably has a BF and sounds like WAY too much trouble IMO. TS should just be friendly, but absolutely not pursue her anymore

In relation to the thread, I asked out a chick from work on my last day at my saturday job last week, result: she said yes, gave me her number and we got a cheeky date lined up this Friday! We'll see how it goes! haha

By chick from your work, you mean one of your students right?

 

[Goonerview]

By chick from your work, you mean one of your students right?

You remind me of married, smokey 40 somethings at my workplace "You shouldn't date people from work, you shouldn't date girls you meet in bars/clubs, you shouldn't date girls you met online" ... too many damn rules!!, so who are you supposed to date??

 

[seatea]

You remind me of married, smokey 40 somethings at my workplace "You shouldn't date people from work, you shouldn't date girls you meet in bars/clubs, you shouldn't date girls you met online" ... too many damn rules!!, so who are you supposed to date??

In your case, your hand.