the human penis evolved the way it did because you're so bad at sex

JosephDredd

JosephDredd

Gold Belt
@Gold
Joined
May 29, 2013
Messages
21,005
Reaction score
2
Scientists have discovered why humans do not have a penis bone, unlike chimpanzees, bears and most other mammals.

The penis bone, or baculum, first evolved in mammals around 145 and 95 million years ago, according to new research from University College London.

The study’s lead author Matilda Brindle told The Independent one of the reasons humans had lost their penis bone was because we do not have sex for long enough to need one.
Click to expand...

“The common ancestors of both primates and carnivores had a baculum,” she said. “Humans are quite weird as we’re one of the few primates that doesn’t have one”

Primates who mate for three minutes or more tend to have far longer penis bones than those whose intromission, or vaginal penetration, is below three minutes, she said.

“The human intromission duration tends to be below two minutes, which most people wouldn’t expect.”
Click to expand...

Chimpanzees, who only have sex for around seven seconds at a time, have a very small baculum, suggesting that there might be evolutionary pressure among apes to lose the penis bone.
Click to expand...

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...doesnt-last-long-enough-ucl-why-a7473401.html
 
Anyone who has ever jammed their womb ferret upon reckless entry knows why we do not have bones in our clam hammer.
 
Last edited:
If it ain't a bone y I got a boner rite now?
 
I read somewhere the average American male lasts 4 minutes. I can outlast the Average American for sure. Need to compensate for my manlet peen somehow
 
As long as I can get hard I don't care how bad I am at sex

This is one race I'll win gold everytime I compete.
 
Pugilistic said:
I read somewhere the average American male lasts 4 minutes. I can outlast the Average American for sure. Need to compensate for my manlet peen somehow
Click to expand...

If I started off slow I could too but I'm like the wind up jack rabbit, once it's over its over fast.
 
so the article claims that at some point a generation of humans just didn't have them because they weren't necessary?

apparently I don't understand evolution like I thought I did.

fuck it.
 
scorpipede said:
so the article claims that at some point a generation of humans just didn't have them because they weren't necessary?

apparently I don't understand evolution like I thought I did.

fuck it.
Click to expand...

It's all bullshit. They make shit up as they go.

Science.
 
Pretty sure that why we have an opposable thumb. ;)
 
CM 4 said:
It's all bullshit. They make shit up as they go.

Science.
Click to expand...

yeah I got to call bullshit on this too. The theory isn't because we didn't need it we got rid of it it's the species evolves due to traits that allow it to procreate over other less capable species or within a species, rather. Plus meteors and shit. Dinosoaurs smoked cigarettes too.
 
scorpipede said:
so the article claims that at some point a generation of humans just didn't have them because they weren't necessary?

apparently I don't understand evolution like I thought I did.

fuck it.
Click to expand...
I'm not saying this article is correct, but every feature of the body has a metabolic cost to develop and maintain, as well as being an additional potential point of failure. If the penis bone didn't improve the ability to procreate then there'd be no real selective pressure to keep it and those with a smaller one (and eventually none at all) wouldn't be spending energy resources on that extra bone. Also, think of how often you've accidentally hit your dick on something because of our upright walking posture. Now imagine there was a bone in there that you could fracture. A broken dick bone means no mating while it's healing, and potentially no more mating ever (if the bone doesn't set right or you potentially die if the fracture is bad enough).
 
scorpipede said:
yeah I got to call bullshit on this too. The theory isn't because we didn't need it we got rid of it it's the species evolves due to traits that allow it to procreate over other less capable species or within a species, rather. Plus meteors and shit. Dinosoaurs smoked cigarettes too.
Click to expand...
9bb8b02224e1529a39655526b504bc75.jpg
 
scorpipede said:
yeah I got to call bullshit on this too. The theory isn't because we didn't need it we got rid of it it's the species evolves due to traits that allow it to procreate over other less capable species or within a species, rather. Plus meteors and shit. Dinosoaurs smoked cigarettes too.
Click to expand...
You can't just be lifting Far Side jokes like that.
 
JBSchroeds said:
I'm not saying this article is correct, but every feature of the body has a metabolic cost to develop and maintain, as well as being an additional potential point of failure. If the penis bone didn't improve the ability to procreate then there'd be no real selective pressure to keep it and those with a smaller one (and eventually none at all) wouldn't be spending energy resources on that extra bone. Also, think of how often you've accidentally hit your dick on something because of our upright walking posture. Now imagine there was a bone in there that you could fracture. A broken dick bone means no mating while it's healing, and potentially no more mating ever (if the bone doesn't set right or you potentially die if the fracture is bad enough).
Click to expand...

that's a good point. just the other day I was rushing to the basement and banged my dick on the sideboard in my kitchen. I quickly thought "I just banged my dick on the sideboard. at least it wasn't the fellas though" and moved on with my day. A dick bone would have complicated things for sure.
 
Primates really dont have massive penises anyways. Chimps, monkeys, apes, gorillas, and bamboons have as small a wanker as humans.
 
HomerThompson said:
Just some posts. Far Side is part of my childhood, and I won't see the intellectual property besmirched!
Click to expand...

fair enough! I usually only give credit to fellow posters here when I Dane Cook one of their jokes.

anything else make the list for you? How about Calvin and Hobbes?
 
scorpipede said:
fair enough! I usually only give credit to fellow posters here when I Dane Cook one of their jokes.

anything else make the list for you? How about Calvin and Hobbes?
Click to expand...
Calvin and Hobbes definitely. Bloom County too. Those two are the GOAT comic strips.
 
Where would i put my dick bone all day if i had one? Either tape it to my leg or my belly. It would be very uncomfortable to walk with it taped to my leg, but would pop out the top of my pants if i tape it to my belly. That would be so unpleasant either way
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,237,053
Messages
55,463,738
Members
174,785
Latest member
JoyceOuthw

Share this page

Back
Top