Strip Clubs are Gross

[ithinktheymad]

Not enough time to stare at other guys skanks when you have one of your own you keep knocking up.

About the only time I'll agree with you. Most of those women are taken and most of the single ones belong to who ever wants to pay for the time agreed upon. I know because I'm often the scumbag boyfriend.

 

[Amerikuracana]

About the only time I'll agree with you. Most of those women are taken and most of the single ones belong to who ever wants to pay for the time agreed upon. I know because I'm often the scumbag boyfriend.

Boy, you are wrong pretty much all of the time besides now. #truthisgoodbuddy

 

[Otto!]

Not sure is la broussaille is still a good time ....
I bet it hasn't change a bit since you last went lmao.

Ouch! Not going back then! I forgot le Carol.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

Probably. If it fits any of these criteria then you'll get the track marked, mom bodied, crutch wielding variety of stripper like mentioned here. That is small town US establishment that looks like it's straight out of the 80's. Also if all the non entertaining staff are skeevy dudes in their 50's and beyond sporting eye patches and the like then that goes double.

My home base is a tier one city and even the lunch shift has at least one LA 10 on the floor.


Never been called out on it even in stricter establishments. I do use discretion however. Pretty boys also get more leniency.

 

[evergreenrider]

The best strip club I ever went to was the Cecil in Vancouver. Me and 2 buddies made a trip up there when we were 19. Strip club, bar, and hotel all in one. Bitches eating each other out and finger blasting on stage. Blew my 19 year old mind lol

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

I go with my friends so we can get wood together and then we go play swords in the bathroom

 

[Misfit23]

Use to with my roommate back in the day because they had $1 pbr's... only drank beers and we never got dances...

 

[ithinktheymad]

I know I know this is the Chudberry but hear me out. If you have any good looking buddies go with them and observe. If you don't jump the gun and get too crazy they'll almost never enforce the no touching rule for those of us with great jawlines. Actually, that is one of my tips for picking them up. I don't touch at all. A good amount of the time they will be quite confused and ask if I'm not enjoying myself. Especially if I'm sans erection. If they tell me that it's ok to touch, ask, or physically place my hands on them I'm asking what time her shift ends. Those are cliff notes but maybe 60% of the time that results in a new stripper lady friend for me. Your results may vary.

One of my main strip club buddies nearly gets kicked out almost every time we go. He is admittedly wild. You know the type where you have to pull their face out of the on stage performer's ass. He's a great guy and a blast to hang out with but he looks like the dirty middle aged man that he is. Even when he tries to behave security frequently flips out and the rest of the party has to negotiate(ie beg and/or slide security a c-note) him not being tossed on his ass. Dancers have flipped out on him. Shit I have had them approach me about my "crazy friend" and what the fuck his problem is. While I have yet to stick my face in a performer's ass I've been pretty gross. Never once asked to leave. Never once asked to stop by a dancer, security, or management.

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

My best strip club moment was when I just turned 18 and had no money or a job at the time. My friend gave me $20 to go to this fully nude strip club. Cost $17 to get in so I had 3 singles at my disposal. Within 5 minutes they were gone and I was just sitting in the back by myself while he was up at the stage getting boobs in his face.

This stripper comes and sits on my lap and tries to get me to go to the ATM. I'm like you don't understand, I literally have no money and no way of getting any. She hangs around a bit and chats with me and then her friend comes up and sits on the other side of my lap and they start talking. After a few minutes they start making out and fingering each other.

I didn't even know what to do. I just froze and enjoyed the action. Still better than anything I've ever spent money on at a strip club. But now that I know women better, I kick myself for missing out on a potential opportunity. Oh well I wouldn't have been able to do anything other than jizz in 5 seconds and apologize for the next 10 minutes at that age anyway.

 

[Legumes]

One time my penis head got caught in my zipper of my jeans while the skank was day humping me.

Consider yourself lucky, most people have to pay extra for a zip and rip.

 

[Garnet_StrongerThanYou]

The tip is not to visit US strip clubs, they suck.

Go to a strip club in Bogota, Colombia and then tell me strip clubs suck

is Bogotá Columbia dangerous?

 

[empsim]

Depends on the club/country I guess.

If touching is allowed and you're nice to the girls and buy some drinks, you can definitely have a good time. Just don't get too wasted or RIP credit card.

 

[Oeshon]

is Bogotá Columbia dangerous?

Yep, absolutely. Still got some banging stripclubs though.

 

[ithinktheymad]

Depends on the club/country I guess.

If touching is allowed and you're nice to the girls and buy some drinks, you can definitely have a good time. Just don't get too wasted or RIP credit card.

Noob you don't take your cc to a strip club. You use the casino method. A predetermined amount of cash and you spend most of that on getting loaded. Hopefully your chosen den of iniquity has a full bar, or at least beer. Buying them drinks is good and maybe even preferable to tipping(if you're trying to witness a spectacle or on the off chance that you feel like you may have a shot at becoming her scumbag boyfriend) but you can be suckered that way if you don't know what you're doing. If I decline a dance but the woman is persistent(not thirsty) I might counter with a drink and a chat if I'm so inclined.

Always get dances RELUCTANTLY. Don't ever get a dance the moment you walk into a club. Do offer the entertainment party favors. Especially if you'd like to witness a spectacle. Not your headstash though. I have witnessed one of the crazier scenes(that is in the United States) after giving an entertainer a shitty freebie pre-roll on a slow shift.

Give the DJ weed and/or party favors if it's an establishment you visit with any regularity. They will probably love you. You can practically not tip the dancers at that point as long as you behave and have good fun. Security will probably always view you with disdain. A couple of dollars in their palm on your way out every now and again MIGHT ease this. If you do it every time they'll probably still hate you but possibly kiss your ass for the gratuity.

This is an excerpt from ITTM's gentleman's club etiquette for the discerning scumbag. All rights reserved.

 

[chickenlip]

I’m a sleezy dude and I like trashy stuff. Get off your high horse

 

[tangata motu'a]

You ever been to the Hong Kong Club in TJ? Go there and you will understand

 

[The Big Sloppy]

I don't know of an easier, hassle free way of getting a semi/fully nude woman to rub her breasts in my face.

So, in conclusion, strip clubs are good.

 

[Orgasmo]

I have a thing for black chicks ever since that strip club visit in Montreal 10 years back.

 

[The UFC Brander Collector]

In my teens, they were funny.
Only clubs close to me and I could get into

 

[WandySaku2]

Dark, grungy, sexualized debauchery. What's not to like?

I started going to college nights back in the day, and being a socially inept guy with a strong desire to see naked women, it was a no brainer that I'd get hooked. Haven't been in near a decade, but I miss it at times.