Gonna get real here. My father was murdered during a robbery. My family were victims, but so were the family of the murderers. Sure, there were failings as far as raising them, but I would not have wished that on the perpetrator's family members. People's hearts were broken across the board.
I want to stress that this isn't some high spade I'm playing in a card game. I don't tell this story for sympathy. I am a lucky man. I have people that love me and protect me. I have love in my heart, and I will continue to fight the hate that tries to embed itself in my soul. That is a lifelong fight.
I can say this: When hate was in my heart I was slowly dying and letting it go saved my life. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.