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Well, I don't mean crazy powerful, but it seemed to touch on an 18th century sensibility or innate characteristic of a man to be the one leading (at least initially). Her taking charge may have been a result of insecurity due to blindness, or basic personality. But anyway, I just thought it was an interesting moment that touches on something deeper in male/female relationship. Clearly Jaquin's character was quite flustered and the scene was actually rather drawn out to touch on this point.
Well it was definitely a scene in which Ivy was going against the grain of society. And I think that Lucius found it somewhat emasculating and he was frustrated that Ivy kept standing in the way of him taking charge and demonstrating his ability to be a man.
I think you're right about it being part of her basic personality. I don't think it had anything to do with insecurity. Despite her disability, she had always been a bit mischievous and a bit of a tomboy. Fitting into the mold of the traditional soft-spoken girl who curtsied with ribbons in her hair was never her thing. At least that was my take on her character.