Joke thread

[Deaths Head]

 

[TheChance]

A englishman, a fenchman, a spaniard, and a german are watching a juggler perform. The juggler, concerned they cannot see him well jumps up on a crate and askes "can you all se me?". They reply:

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"

 

[Swamps]

Whats the difference between a small boy and a bag of cocaine?

-Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

 

[wwkirk]

I'm ashamed of how long it took me.Escargot

 

[Deaths Head]

I'm ashamed of how long it took me.Escargot

Honestly didn’t get it until a week ago and I’ve watched it since it came out though I was a kid and laughed at it anyway . I laughed all day bc of it and everyone in the house said it was the worst joke they ever heard. Lol

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Is his name Christopher? Maybe we can substitute him in the joke

Unfortunately it is not.

 

[Tone C]

Unfortunately it is not.

Ask him if he wants to change it by deed poll ?

 

[MacGregor]

Original link removed from yt.

 

[wwkirk]

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger are talking about making a new film together.

Sly: “I wanna show the world that we’re more than just action movie stars. I wanna make a movie about classical composers. What do you think?”
Bruce: “I'll be Beethoven."
Sly: “You would be great. And I’ll be Tchaikovsky. What about you Arnie?”
Arnold says, "Don't make me say it, boys."

 

[MacGregor]

 

[wwkirk]

Mexican word of the day: Budweiser
"That girl has a nice body budweiser face so ugly?"

 

[Pierce 34]

Susie is a prostitute who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past & sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised & ask her 'How, do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin & suck 'em until they're dry.

 

[Grassshoppa]

In honor of Valentine's Day... what has two wings and an arrow?

An Asian. "Wring Wring..." "Rarrow?"

Heard this the other day from our son and told him it was inappropriate as I secretly giggled.

 

[wwkirk]

One time I fell from a 25 foot ladder.

Fortunately I was on the 1st rung.

Spoiler

 

[Highway99]

I tried my hand at stand-up once. I told a joke about a straw, but it sucked. The crowd didn't like my joke about pizza either, I think they found it too cheesy.

 

[wwkirk]

I tried my hand at stand-up once. I told a joke about a straw, but it sucked. The crowd didn't like my joke about pizza either, I think they found it too cheesy.

You deserve a rimshot, but I’m on a tablet right now.