Is marriage really worth it?

[GSPSAKU]

Well, I'm still in good shape. Sure, there were a couple of years where I was under immense stress where I put on some weight. And yes, we are more charming before we get to fuck them. That's what I was saying. But the level of deception women carry out prior to marriage is much greater than that of the men's before we get to fuck them.

And it's not simply the freauency of certain sex acts. Before we were married, my wife liked to watch the fights with me. She liked watching comedies. She liked to get kinky during sex. But as soon as we were married, it's like a switch flipped. Suddenly, she's hiding in the bedroom when I have friends over to watch the fights. Comedies are stupid now. Only sophisticated British humor makes the cut. All the stuff she liked to do sexually, she no longer likes. It is like fucking night and day.

And all of the changes I've made since we got married have been things she wanted. I don't drink anymore, except maybe once a year. Things like that. Every change she has made to herself has been what she wanted, and generally because she has no desire to be champion again, just like Jose Aldo. She got the belt, lost it, and now she's just riding out the rest of her career in mediocrity. Nominees to diet anymore. She doesn't have to make weight to compete.

Now, I may not be perfect. But I'm at least like Urijah Faber in that I'm always one fight away from the belt, and I stay in shape, constantly beating anyone who is not champion.

Jack, you are in the minority I guess and you selected a wife who sounds like the majority of women. My wife is exactly the same as when I married her 7 years ago; again sex is sometimes as often as every night and sometimes as infrequent as once a week but it's, on averave usually, about twice as week and like I mentioned, I get a BJ before sex, without fail, every single time. I couldn't say that when I was single whether it was with my wife or any of my ex girlfriends.

We watch the same movies, she never cared for me watching MMA or kickboxing or amateur wrestling but I watch it whenever I can, and her expectations of my and mine of her has not really changed much in 7 years. We both do all we can to keep one another happy while raising two precious little girls. Honestly, she's gained about 10lbs in the last 7 years and after two kids which isn't bad at all. I've been far worse, gaining 25lbs. Would I like her to shed a little weight? Honestly, it's not enough to bother me and she doesn't care about me gaining weight although I know I'd like to lose those 25lbs.

Again, it comes down to selection and a little bit of luck. You seem like a good dude but your wife doesn't seem all that bad either. Just sounds like most married women but apparently a loving and faithful one so that's a definite plus.

 

[adam199]

Exactly. This goes for any relationship, married or otherwise. No one ever knows anything about someone else with 100% certainty. For example, my brother could be telling me something and I believe him but can I honestly say I KNOW EVERYTHING HE HS EVER TOLD BE TO BE 100% true all of the time? That's just life. You believe it until you are proven otherwise or given reason not to.


I will say, for most married couples, it is true that the head game drops dramatically. Most of my married friends, BJs are for special occasions only and about half of them don't mind it that way while the other half does long for the more frequent BJs of the past. For me, it's actually increased and head is part of foreplay now so I get head before actual sex everytime.


Actually, in the US, divorce rates is the lowest it's been in almost 40 years. The peak in the US was in 1980.
http://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources...derson-divorce-rate-us-geo-2015-fp-16-21.html
http://time.com/4575495/divorce-rate-nearly-40-year-low/

The problem isn't marriage, THE PROBLEM IS YOU. Men and women blame the other person for their marriage failing, blame society, blame everyone but themselves.

It's like the men who claim all women are hoes and the women who claim are men are assholes. If you fall into either of the previous two categories, it's because 1. You are attracted to hoes or assholes OR 2. Your actions attract hoes or assholes.

Don't blame people for your failures, your inability to select and choose a person to be with for the rest of your life. Heck, if you don't want to get married, don't. This day and age, you can choose not to get married and no one cares. If you want kids and don't want to get married, you can do that. But if you ever break up with her, it's still child support until the kids are of age.

You gotta love how people blame the institution instead of themselves when things go wrong.

 

[HelloJapan]

Where did you get these numbers?

In Canada, the divorce rate is approximately 38 percent:



Source

In the US it is approximately 50 percent:



I have no clue where you got your "happily married" number.

I should rephrase the word "divorce", I'm including those in separation. That Stat's Canada report does not, its also from 2004...my figures might be a little fluid, but I did say "approx". The divorce rate has continually gone up each year, on average. I still stand by the point that the majority of marriages (or relationships) TODAY fail. The 'still married' figure I got through several studies in my school's library, empirically based studies, when doing some University upgrading a couple of years ago (ironically did a term long paper on 'Modern Marriage, and it's success'). I remember this quite vividly because: A) It was interesting looking at the other side of the divorce rate argument, those still married, and B) Being shocked by the percentage in those studies that stated discontent for their marriage, but stayed married due to economic issue, children, etc etc.

I don't doubt that there is successful married people on here, and in society...but they're not the norm anymore, and its just getting worse each year. I've see this defensiveness a lot, I just chalk it up to Stockholm Syndrome. So, I say again, marriage is obsolete.

 

[adam199]

Where did you get these numbers?

In Canada, the divorce rate is approximately 38 percent:



Source

In the US it is approximately 50 percent:



I have no clue where you got your "happily married" number.

Classic bitter male logic: no one is happy being married, they are all secretely miserable.

 

[Thai Domi]

My deepest condolences.

Don't mourn me me, you jackass. I'm marrying a Princess.

 

[mb23100]

I remember a comedian saying something like "If marriage didnt exist would you invent it?" Lol so true

 

[GSPSAKU]

You gotta love how people blame the institution instead of themselves when things go wrong.

It's the truth if we are all honest with ourselves. Women are like "it seems like all the men I meet are losers or assholes". There's a reason for that; if all the men a women meets are assholes or loser, who's fault is that? Ask yourself why is it that all the men you met are of a certain type? The answer is quite simple and it goes for men too.

I don't doubt that there is successful married people on here, and in society...but they're not the norm anymore, and its just getting worse each year. I've see this defensiveness a lot, I just chalk it up to Stockholm Syndrome. So, I say again, marriage is obsolete.

Blaming happily married people talking about successful marriages as being defensive is the same as chalking up all people (like yourself) who are against marriages as bitter, loser beta males who can't keep a woman happy so she has to go find happiness or a dick somewhere else.

There's no defensiveness but actual logic here. It takes two to tangle but you can't blame a failed marriage on anyone but yourself and your spouse. It's not the idea of marriage's fault, it's not society's fault; it's your fault you couldn't make a marriage work or your fault for being blind and not being able to select a person to live with you for the rest of your life and help make both of your lives better.

Honestly, marriage is just a piece a paper. It's the commitment, sacrifice, compromise, and love behind it that makes a marriage, OR ANY RELATIONSHIP work.

 

[Turtlejuice]

Cit where I'm wrong.

I don't think you understand "citation needed". It means you need to provide a source. Don't supply made up figures.

Also, read the article, basically the whole article says you're wrong.

 

[WandySaku2]

Nope...unless there are kids involved....but if I met an awesome woman that I truly felt like I never wanted to be separated from and she wanted marriage, I'd do it.

When you look at it for what it is, it's an unnecessary, complicated pinky promise. If one or the other wants out, why have this hurdle making that harder than it needs t be? Why not just stick with and love the person until you just don't anymore?

I also feel like people get caught up in the wedding. I love weddings and what they stand for in principle and would love to one day have a celebration with friends and family to honor me and my significant other's love/anniversary, but these days, there just isn't a logical reason I can think of (sans children) to add legalities to that.

IMO the problem with marriages failing is people choosing for the wrong reasons. I'm not married, and I haven't even been in many fairly long relationships for that matter, but I firmly believe that the basis of a relationship should be formed upon the positive feelings between the people involved. If one of them is with the other largely for a reason beyond "he/she just makes me feel great when he/she is around", I don't see it working. A building can have lovely windows, a beautiful facade, etc., but if it's built on a weak foundation, it's doomed. And like another poster said, people feeling as if marriage and kids are just an inevitable step in the game of life, instead of this rare, awesome thing that sometimes happens.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Jack, you are in the minority I guess and you selected a wife who sounds like the majority of women. My wife is exactly the same as when I married her 7 years ago; again sex is sometimes as often as every night and sometimes as infrequent as once a week but it's, on averave usually, about twice as week and like I mentioned, I get a BJ before sex, without fail, every single time. I couldn't say that when I was single whether it was with my wife or any of my ex girlfriends.

We watch the same movies, she never cared for me watching MMA or kickboxing or amateur wrestling but I watch it whenever I can, and her expectations of my and mine of her has not really changed much in 7 years. We both do all we can to keep one another happy while raising two precious little girls. Honestly, she's gained about 10lbs in the last 7 years and after two kids which isn't bad at all. I've been far worse, gaining 25lbs. Would I like her to shed a little weight? Honestly, it's not enough to bother me and she doesn't care about me gaining weight although I know I'd like to lose those 25lbs.

Again, it comes down to selection and a little bit of luck. You seem like a good dude but your wife doesn't seem all that bad either. Just sounds like most married women but apparently a loving and faithful one so that's a definite plus.

Like I said, most women are just like that.

 

[minute bull]

How many times have you made this thread?

 

[steve38]

Most guys who feel marriage isn't worth it probably got married too young and feel like they are missing out on life. I recommend guys not even think about marriage until mid 30's and get out there and live a little.

Dip your wick in as much ink as possible and dip your cup in the river of life.....and get to know yourself a little. Learn to think for yourself and not just be a blind follower of societal norms and trends. Maybe you'll even learn that you're a bad candidate for coupling and opt out.

From what I've seen, most guys screw up and buckle under the peer pressure of acceptance and jump into a marriage that is wrong for them...then bitch that all marriage is bad

 

[Turtlejuice]

Like I said, most women are just like that.

Citation needed.

 

[SMYD]

Is this all you ever think about? It's like a weekly post for you, for fuck's sake.

Sack up and deal with it.

 

[ripskater]

I've never understood why some guys act like females when it comes to tying the knot. Most married people I know are miserable, that's why most married people cheat. I had a homie who said fuck it got married after a six month relay.
Fast forward two years he's getting divorced and crying all the time, even went borderline suicidal all because she was getting snow plowed by various dudes. She was even fucking her ex...smh these ho's ain't loyal I'm never getting married.

I Corinthians

28 But those who marry will face many troubles in this life



Marriage is tough at times, but it can come with great reward also. But remember also, the bible says you will have trouble too.

 

[adam199]

It's the truth if we are all honest with ourselves. Women are like "it seems like all the men I meet are losers or assholes". There's a reason for that; if all the men a women meets are assholes or loser, who's fault is that? Ask yourself why is it that all the men you met are of a certain type? The answer is quite simple and it goes for men too.



Blaming happily married people talking about successful marriages as being defensive is the same as chalking up all people (like yourself) who are against marriages as bitter, loser beta males who can't keep a woman happy so she has to go find happiness or a dick somewhere else.

There's no defensiveness but actual logic here. It takes two to tangle but you can't blame a failed marriage on anyone but yourself and your spouse. It's not the idea of marriage's fault, it's not society's fault; it's your fault you couldn't make a marriage work or your fault for being blind and not being able to select a person to live with you for the rest of your life and help make both of your lives better.

Honestly, marriage is just a piece a paper. It's the commitment, sacrifice, compromise, and love behind it that makes a marriage, OR ANY RELATIONSHIP work.

Environment is a very powerful thing. You spend your whole life around shitty people and then project that onto everyone else. Some of these guys must be surrounded by terrible people if all the girls they know cheat and all the guys get bled dry.

 

[CatchOmega]

Recently married... It most definitely is not worth it.

Not that I don't love my wife, I do.. but the whole marriage thing never made sense to me and makes even less now.

Basically, if either one of us fucks up or decides we want something different in life, I pay a bunch of money and lose half my shit.

If anything it forces people to stay together despite being unhappy, all because they're scared of the financial consequences if they leave.

 

[GSPSAKU]

Environment is a very powerful thing. You spend your whole life around shitty people and then project that onto everyone else. Some of these guys must be surrounded by terrible people if all the girls they know cheat and all the guys get bled dry.

That's definitely true. You hand around negative people, you tend to become more negative. If the people around you have failing marriages, you will believe that failing marriages is normal.

You reap what you sow and you are who you align yourself with. It all goes back to what I said earlier. If all you the people you date or dated were somehow not up to par, it's because you are actually attracted to those people or your actions attract those kind of people.

Recently married... It most definitely is not worth it.

Not that I don't love my wife, I do.. but the whole marriage thing never made sense to me and makes even less now.

Basically, if either one of us fucks up or decides we want something different in life, I pay a bunch of money and lose half my shit.

If anything it forces people to stay together despite being unhappy, all because they're scared of the financial consequences if they leave.

This thread will be helpful to the undecided people. Read through everything and see where you stand, what kind of person you are. No offence but a person like CatchOmega should have never gotten married in the first place. Actually CatchO, if it's still new and you have no kids, break it off now because with your attitude and outlook, it will only get worse and I'm not saying this to be an ass. Just being honest, better to leave now then stay for 5-10 years and then call it quits.

 

[HomeRun916]

Is "insert anything" really worth it?

To some people yes, to others no.

There is no blanket coverage for statements like OP's.

 

[HomeRun916]

Recently married... It most definitely is not worth it.

Not that I don't love my wife, I do.. but the whole marriage thing never made sense to me and makes even less now.

Basically, if either one of us fucks up or decides we want something different in life, I pay a bunch of money and lose half my shit.

If anything it forces people to stay together despite being unhappy, all because they're scared of the financial consequences if they leave.

Half your sherdog acct really gotta sting eh