If your partner were disabled in car accident, would you still stay with her/him?

[trustno1]

You think most people would bail, so that makes it okay for you to do so? You sound like shitty person TS.

What would you do? I don't think he means that, he just doesn't know what would he do like most other people. He actually gave an honest opinion.

And yes, like already mentioned, it depends on the level of disability. The video is kinda sad, really a tragic situation...

 

[Rhino Plastic]

I'd stay-and hopefully she would have lost all ability to speak.

 

[sub_thug]

Of course I'd stay. She's my best friend and the love of my life. I could never just bail on her, no matter what happened.

 

[Brampton_Boy]

Lol, I kinda hope you get cancer now so you can see how terribly wrong you are.

Woah there nelly, that's really up to the other person whether they want to help or not. You should respect your partner enough for them to be responsible for their actions and expect the same back.

Sometimes such feelings come from having been made to feel a burden as a child. Unloved or difficult, internalised and then reflected on to our adult relationships, the perennial outsider, avoiding putting anyone out and refusing help freely offered.

I should probably clarify that my motivations are entirely selfish and have nothing to do with altruism or sense of martyrdom.

I want to be able to dictate the image people have of me - the thought that a loved one's enduring memories of me is of as a burden (even one they willfully asume), or as someone that isn't capable terrifies me.

With respect to @Phlog 's second point, I actually grew up in the exact opposite circumstances (unwavering love and support from family), which is arguably why I place a much greater emphasis on obligation to loved ones, than their obligation to me.

I would drop and do anything to take care of someone close to me, but I don't place a particularly high utility value on living a "long" life myself. I want to live by my terms, my way - hopefully that entails 90+ years of vibrant and healthy living, but should I be faced with a situation of facing some sort of terminal illness or injury (sufficiently so where I rely on others to care for me), I am taking the cowards way out and 'leaving early'.

Who knows, maybe I am talking out my ass, or maybe my opinions will change when I have kids who depend on me to stick around, but as of right now, I genuinely would not want my partner to stay with me if I got sick.

 

[mjmj]

Of all the dumb shit questioned in Mayberry, this might be the dumbest. I have to assume anyone saying they’d leave is about 14, or has never kept a girlfriend longer than a week or two.

 

[Benoitthegr8]

The women who stay with disabled veterans are fucking heroes. I wouldn’t want my loved one to be burdened by me but I would want to stay with my disabled partner so I can support them. I would still want to fuck other people though.

I've been married 10 years and my wife has stayed with me through all of it, we also have 2 children. I wouldn't say I'm disabled, but I have days where it's difficult to walk due to my back being jacked up. Sometimes she has to do a disproportionate amount of the work around the house when I'm laid up. I'm sitting here typing this with a support belt around my waist with a large ice pack getting the back ready to eventually do my yard choirs. She doesn't bitch for the most part, but sometimes it's unfair, but my pension and disability is what pays the bills, she works too but I don't regularly ask her to help with the bills unless there is a need. Anyway, I consider myself lucky to have a spouse and family who realize 25 years of military service has left me broke, off subject but I was told I'm eligible for a handicap plate and I refused, I guess I feel like that privilege would likely serve someone else better than me.

Edit: If you see me posting on Sherdog I'm usually laid up on the lazyboy feeling sorry for myself, this is my bored and can't do physical activity comfort activity per say.

 

[bish0p2004]

Smh "partner."

Anyways, depending on the severity of the situation, I would not stay with my wife just as I wouldn't want her to stay with me if I was horribly disfigured.

 

[BisexualMMA]

Lol, I kinda hope you get cancer now so you can see how terribly wrong you are.

If you've ever seen anyone in the late stages of cancer, I don't see how you could judge them for offing themselves if they wanted to.

 

[BisexualMMA]

Also, TS said in the original post that the couple is unmarried, but everyone is bringing up the sanctity of marriage vows...

 

[BBT13]

id stay but if I was the disabled one I would want to be dumped.

 

[Papawash]

If you think with your head and not your dick then you would.

 

[Harmonica]

So you're telling me the essence of your relationships with women, the one thing it can't exist without, is their ability to walk?

 

[Horse Style]

I remember there was a scene from Love and Other Drugs. For those who don't know, it's about Jake Gyllenhaal dating Anne Hathaway, who has Parkinson's. Late in the movie, Jake's character goes to some sort of meeting for people who have loved ones with Parkinson's.

He talks to a guy who looks tired and a bit annoyed. The guy, like many posters in this thread started out wanting to be there for his wife who has Parkinson's, but now he regrets it as he's now little more than a permanent babysitter.

People can say they'll easily stay because this and that and silly marriage vows but I highly doubt 10 years down the line they will have the same enthusiasm and the regrets will start creeping up.

 

[Banchan]

I think it would depend on the person . There are relationships where people stay because of kids or its too much trouble or money to leave . I think some thing like this would push them to finally leave . But those who are happy with their partner and never wanted to leave before the crippling probably wont .

 

[Phlog]

I should probably clarify that my motivations are entirely selfish and have nothing to do with altruism or sense of martyrdom.

I want to be able to dictate the image people have of me - the thought that a loved one's enduring memories of me is of as a burden (even one they willfully asume), or as someone that isn't capable terrifies me.

With respect to @Phlog 's second point, I actually grew up in the exact opposite circumstances (unwavering love and support from family), which is arguably why I place a much greater emphasis on obligation to loved ones, than their obligation to me.

I would drop and do anything to take care of someone close to me, but I don't place a particularly high utility value on living a "long" life myself. I want to live by my terms, my way - hopefully that entails 90+ years of vibrant and healthy living, but should I be faced with a situation of facing some sort of terminal illness or injury (sufficiently so where I rely on others to care for me), I am taking the cowards way out and 'leaving early'.

Who knows, maybe I am talking out my ass, or maybe my opinions will change when I have kids who depend on me to stick around, but as of right now, I genuinely would not want my partner to stay with me if I got sick.

That's pretty cool, yeah I suspected that I wasn't describing you from what you've said before. Just went with the high percentage offence regardless of how the defence were aligned.

 

[ClubFoot]

Time for the pillow over the face, and not in the good way.

She'd be offed at the first opportunity.

However, if I was paralysed, I'd expect 24 hour care from her. Wiping my ass, feeding me, shaving me the whole kit and caboodle.

We're different people.

 

[EL CORINTHIAN]

That's not cool that you'd just bail ts.

LOL with a name like yours I'm surprised.

 

[sub_thug]

I remember there was a scene from Love and Other Drugs. For those who don't know, it's about Jake Gyllenhaal dating Anne Hathaway, who has Parkinson's. Late in the movie, Jake's character goes to some sort of meeting for people who have loved ones with Parkinson's.

He talks to a guy who looks tired and a bit annoyed. The guy, like many posters in this thread started out wanting to be there for his wife who has Parkinson's, but now he regrets it as he's now little more than a permanent babysitter.

People can say they'll easily stay because this and that and silly marriage vows but I highly doubt 10 years down the line they will have the same enthusiasm and the regrets will start creeping up.

Yeah, I've seen the movie. I don't think anyone is arguing that it would be easy or that they would be excited about doing it. If my girl were a vegetable, it would be the hardest thing that I've ever dealt with. However, I love her through and through. My sacrifice would be worth it because it's her.

The guy in the movie is merely the personification of temptation. Do you take the hard right or the easy wrong? If you take the easy wrong, sure, you could find someone else. You will probably be pretty happy, and you can be free of the burden that is the disease/ailment. Sounds pretty tempting until you start thinking of the person that you love who is now suffering alone. When you do that, the choice becomes really clear. Or not, depending on the person that you are asking.

 

[Horse Style]

Yeah, I've seen the movie. I don't think anyone is arguing that it would be easy or that they would be excited about doing it. If my girl were a vegetable, it would be the hardest thing that I've ever dealt with. However, I love her through and through. My sacrifice would be worth it because it's her.

The guy in the movie is merely the personification of temptation. Do you take the hard right or the easy wrong? If you take the easy wrong, sure, you could find someone else. You will probably be pretty happy, and you can be free of the burden that is the disease/ailment. Sounds pretty tempting until you start thinking of the person that you love who is now suffering alone. When you do that, the choice becomes really clear. Or not, depending on the person that you are asking.

Maybe I'm remembering the scene wrong but I thought that guy was the same as most posters in this thread. In the beginning he stood with his wife and took care of her. It's only after years and years that he started to feel regret and wondered if he should have moved on long ago.

In this scenario, it's not a one time decision. You're making the decision of staying vs leaving almost everyday for pretty much the rest of your or her life.

 

[ralphc1]

Well she pretty much just lies there now, if you know what I mean.

You'd kill someone for getting into a car accident?

There are no accidents, there are actions with unintended consequences. Collisions occur because one or both drivers do something wrong.