Heading to jail for a little while

[TrippleOG]

Good luck guy.

 

[El Chimpo]

30 days? the horror

 

[shaffmeister]

Just be laidback guy. Be a chameleon.

Do atleast 200 pushups and jumping squats a day. Meditate aswell. Focus on what youre going to do better when you get out. We love you, and this could be a vacation/ayahuacsa type experience you silly bitch. Youll be winnin

Good stuff man. Push-ups, jumping squats, lunges, and sit-ups everyday. Meditation will be huge too. Thanks for the input man

 

[Protectandserve]

Don't piss off the deputies. Otherwise you get the green wave beating the shit out of you.

 

[shaffmeister]

lmao @ having to go to jail. you sound poor

Shit happens. You sound like a douchebag

 

[shaffmeister]

How come you dont want to say why you are going in ?

 

[Valhoven]

Good stuff man. Push-ups, jumping squats, lunges, and sit-ups everyday. Meditation will be huge too. Thanks for the input man

You probably got this down already too but you can use your shirt for almost akin to a resistance band while wrapping around a cell bar (not sure what called in English) and rocking for- and backwards in a way. Probably hits your bi's and alternatively lats if you tweak your grip of the shirt. Great for negatives after they pull you from the yard.

 

[Misfit23]

Read and sleep is how I made the time go by.

 

[Gutter Chris]

View attachment 144599

Sucks dude I new it was going to be for something silly. DUI was my guess.

30 days will pass in no time man just dont get into it with anyone in there and youll be home in no time. They say you only do 2 days anyway man.

 

[Officer_Brown]

Hi Jon.

 

[MusterX]

Nope. I'll be in a work center so I won't be in the typical county jail. Hell, I won't even be in a cell. I have a couple buddies in there as we speak so they should help me pass the time.

Alright listen, I'm going to tell you a few things and they may or may not apply to your situation. My stint in county was in a rather larger county jail that had a general population area where it was 2 to a cell and they had another "nicer" area called the pods that housed 48 men in a large room with 2 locked doors, an inner door separated by a vestibule door and an outer door. They kept the ratio of races equal at all times which was the first thing I noticed. 16 black, 16 white, and 16 hispanic, at all times. You would think this was better than the general area with 2 to a cell and in some ways it was but on other ways it was much more dangerous.

Part of the reason why it was dangerous is because of a thing called bench warrants. Really bad men go to the state pen but while they are there they get another charge on a different crime they committed so the judge issues a bench warrant and then the prison busses this convict to the county jail and you get a new bunk mate, often referred to as a "celly." (cell mate) Because of this mix of jail and prison there are rules of jail just like in prison. Here are a few examples.

1. Looking at someone in the eyes is considered an act of aggression, called mad dogging. Careful you don't get caught mad dogging on a day when you are irritated. It very easy to get bent out of shape in that environment and next thing you know you looked at a dude across the room for just a couple seconds too long and its on like Donkey Kong.

2. Be prepared for unusual meal times. Where I was breakfast was about 4am and they would enter our area banging on trash cans and yelling for us convicts to get our asses up like it was something out of a boot camp. Lunch would be around 10am, and dinner would be by 3 in the afternoon. You make up for the down times with commissary money. If you can, you need to make arrangements for someone to deposit money in your commissary account so you can buy things. This is money in jail, chips, cigarettes if the jail allows them, Ramen noodle, whatever, that is your money in jail and it can buy all sorts of.....things.

3. If someone asks for any of your food when you are eating in the mess haul or wherever it is you eat, its best not to give it to them. I don't care if you have no intention of eating that cornbread, you do not give up cornbread in jail/prison. It makes you look weak and like a bitch and there are predators watching to see if you will give that food up. Do not underestimate what I am telling you.

4. When eating you will likely be 4 to table or more depending on the size of the tables. There will be salt and pepper on the table in most cases. DO NOT fucking reach over the table. If at any time your arm crosses over the plane of someones tray, the wrong person will crack your head open for that. If you don't have a straight shot at the salt and pepper, like its right in front of you then you ask someone to pass it to you.

5. In most county jails you have to shit and shower in a public area, no doors, no privacy. When you take a shit you flush it as soon as it hits the water. This is called a "courtesy flush." Then you wipe, then you flush again. If you do not courtesy flush and the wrong MF'ers are around, they will rip your ass off that toilet.

6. You do not discuss your case. If someone asks why you are in jail the best answer is, "I can't discuss my case, its still ongoing." The reason for this is because there may be someone locked up with you that doesn't like your crime and this will cause you serious problems. You do not discuss your case even with people who appear to be friendly. You have no real friends in jail and many of them will be probing for weaknesses in you. (Other than your real world buddies)

7. Most county jails have what are called shake downs. This means that at random times a half dozen guards will enter whatever area you are in and they will start screaming and acting like assholes. Most of the time they will herd you into a common area large enough to hold you all and then force you to undress. The reason why is because they want to see if you took some contraband from your cell and are hiding it on your person, so you will likely be ass naked at least once in a month, happened to me many times. So while you are standing ass naked with 10 or 20, or in my case 48 other men, the guards will then tear everything to shit, rip everything out of the bunks, look under the tables, etc, and then they make the inmates clean everything up, that is a shake down. Be very careful nobody plants anything on in your stuff. I once had a razor blade melted into a pen tube stashed on the underside of my bunk. That's a weapon and is another case. That means that inmates frame other inmates to keep them in jail longer. They plant a weapon in your cell then wait for a shake down.

8. Do not get too friendly with the guards. Some of the guards will seem alright and will even start conversations with you. Do not seem over friendly with the guards, other inmates are watching to see if you do and if you get a reputation for something like that then you can get your shit wrecked.

9. Be prepared mentally. Most county jails are loud places, they are loud 24/7 all day and all night, people yelling at each other, getting into fights etc. This can make sleep difficult and lead to you making an ill-advised decision.

10. The guards do not run the jail, they just make sure you don't get out. The jails and prisons are run by inmates.

This is just a primer for surviving in jail. Follow the rules of your particular jail and you will do fine. Stuff like no mad dogging, keep your mouth shut, do not discuss your case, do not be lulled in by people who appear friendly, search your bunk area daily for planted contraband, give a courtesy flush, do not reach over peoples food trays, do not surrender food even if you don't want it, and do not become too friendly with the guards.

 

[irish_thug]

My cousin went to county for a year. Apparently they have some sort of fight club in there and they gamble for Ramen.

I read somewhere that ramen recently surpassed smokes as the #1 commodity inside. Hilarious if true.

 

[Valhoven]

Oh shit....Location: Florida



You have 30 days to learn how to not get caught next time.



I'm pretty sure that's the whole point of prison

So true, E. Apparently blokes leave prison with it serving as less a deterrent and more a university for elevated crimes, LOL. Odd system, that.

 

[marioh]

Good luck. Hope it's not your first time, otherwise..

 

[shaffmeister]

Sucks dude I new it was going to be for something silly. DUI was my guess.

30 days will pass in no time man just dont get into it with anyone in there and youll be home in no time. They say you only do 2 days anyway man.

I appreciate the feedback man. I'll get out in less than 3 weeks on good behavior.. Just gotta keep my mind occupied and stay busy. Shitty situation but it could always be worse!

 

[Gutter Chris]

Shitty situation but it could always be worse!

My motto right there.

 

[Mr. Perfect]

Best of luck TS.

 

[shaffmeister]

I read somewhere that ramen recently surpassed smokes as the #1 commodity inside. Hilarious if true.

Haha that's fucking ridiculous. Luckily they have protein bars and peanut butter on the commissary where I'm going so I can stay fairly healthy and recover from workouts. Fuck ramen though haha

 

[Valhoven]

@MusterX

Great post, mate.

 

[MusterX]

@MusterX

Great post, mate.

He is in a work center so he is probably alright, I was in a rougher situation with rougher criminals but still, jail has its own little society and its own rules. He would do well to make a mental note of the things I have told him.