So, I'm back and it was a pretty good time. I left LA a little bit before 8. Traffic wasn't too bad since it was a weekend. I stopped by the 7/11 for a Big Gulp (Cherry Coke), cigs, and an extra lighter. Took me a little over 2 hours to get to the border. Parked my car on the U.S. side and took the turnstile gate straight into Mexico. I was then immediately bombarded by a bunch of taxi drivers and decided on the one that looked the least threatening, just in case I had to touch him with the jab if he pulled any funny stuff.
I told him to take me to Revolucion Street so I could do some quick pre-gaming. All of the "clubs" were blaring music that you could hear from the sidewalk, yet nobody was in any of the clubs. Decided on one that had a good bucket special of Dos Equis that only put me back about 15 bucks. As I started to feel a little buzzed, I went directely to the farmacia where I had to decide between cialis and viagra. I don't really need it, but I like to pop one when I know I'm about to get down.
I got another taxi and told him to take me to Adelitas. For some reason he said he wasn't allowed to drop me off there but could take me real close. I was skeptical, but didn't really care at that point. He literally dropped me off across the street from the spot, so it wasn't bad. I walked over and I could see a crowd of Mexican dudes outside surrounding the door. Made my way past them and entered the world famous Adelita Bar.
It was a little past 11 and I was told that the B-team just went home and it was the primo pieces on display. Now, I'm not that picky with girls, but a girl has to have nice feet especially if I'm about boink her. Let me be the first to tell you that Mexican girls have some ugly fucking talons. I finally spotted one with servicable toes, but she was being hawked by some Asian dude (most likely from SGV) that was trying to negotiate a price.
Even though I know what the going rate is in this place, I knew that she was the only one that would make this trip worth it so like the Prince Charming that I am, I grab a hundo courtesy of my step-dad and flash it right to her. She stiff arms the Asian dude and heads directly my way. She asks if I want to buy her a drink as she runs her hands through my Jew-Fro, but I refuse and tell her I just want to do the bizz.
We walk out the door and there's the group of Mexican dudes just looking at us. I overhear one of them say "pinche gringo", but I decide not to say anything back because I hear that TJ has produced some pretty good boxers. So you take a left when you walk out the door and the hotel is literally the next door over. I give the girl the money, which she then gives to the guy checking us in. She gets change back and the guy at the front desks hands her a bag filled with condoms, lube, soap, and a dental kit.
We enter a shitty as room that just has a bed and I make sure to scope out the bathroom and closet to make sure that there are no esses in there waiting to catch me with my pants down. I asked the girl how long I had and she assured me that I had 30 minutos. Without getting into all the detail, after 15 min some dude knocks on the door. I'm like "wtf, it's only been 15 minutes" and she's like hurry up and finish because it's almost time. I'm like no way, I just gave you a benjamin for 30 min. So I get back to what I'm doing and 2 minutes later somebody knocks again, but this time more aggressively. At this point I'm pissed and can't even finish. I take the rubber off, wash up real quick and got out of there.
Never been more disappointed in my life. As I'm walking out I head down one of the side streets to get a taxi back to the border and there are a bunch of street girls that keep tugging on my shirt. I find one that is do-able, but I only had 15 bucks left to spend. I told her and she says "no problemo". This was much better because I wasn't rushed and was a lot cheaper. Granted I may have an STD now, but I would say it was probably worth it.
I got back to the border without issue. I was seeing a lot of the brown guys get questioned pretty heavily, but I ambled right on through back to the good ol USA. I knew there would be another immigration checkpoint on the freeway and I saw a few youtube videos of guys that don't respond to the officers questions and just remain silent. Being an entitled young punk, I decide that this is a good idea. I put my iphone on video and once I get to the checkpoint the officer asked me where I was coming from. I look straight ahead and didn't say a word. To my surprised he just said "get the fuck out of here" and let me proceed. I promptly sparked a bowl and was on my way home.
Sorry if there are a lot of grammar errors, but I gotta catch my shift at Jamba Juice in a bit.