Hard life decisions

[FreeFocus]

Maybe pass on this opportunity but tryout for Hell's Kitchen or MasterChef next time they're doing auditions?

 

[PolishHeadlock]

Im probably gonna go to a lawyer if my brother does purchase the restaurant.

I think there is a slim chance if I approach her and tell her she can have him for the summer and all holiday breaks. I am willing to pay the airfare for that. I just know if it doesnt go right I have a big custody battle on my hands. At best Ill get 50/50 with him which is not bad but Ill still have to pay her ass $800 a month for nothing. I buy him everything he needs for personal and school use. She takes him to Disneyland once a year and other than that doesnt pay for shit.

Thats how I want to do it. We have been able to do it for the first 6 years, I just want to continue not having the law involved in my matters.

If she is somewhat reasonable and you come at her willing to give up summers and Holidays I think she might go for it.

That is a lot of time.

Hell she might not even want all that time.

Just make it be known that you want to make it work for her. Don't come off pushy or anything like that.

Feel it out and try to keep the tension low.

 

[Squirting Gun]

And how much time does she spend with your son at the moment?

Not including this week as it is the holidays, she has him every Friday night after MMA and every other weekend. Normally her parents have him for half of those days. I have him from sunday around noon to friday night and also every other weekend.

So sometimes she shes him from 4-8(at the most) times a month. Normally I would says on average 6 days a month.

 

[PolishHeadlock]

Not including this week as it is the holidays, she has him every Friday night after MMA and every other weekend. Normally her parents have him for half of those days. I have him from sunday around noon to friday night and also every other weekend.

So sometimes she shes him from 4-8(at the most) times a month. Normally I would says on average 6 days a month.

Do you think her parents will have more of a problem with this than her?

If so how much influence do they have? Are the reasonable? SHould you talk to them when you talk to her?

 

[Squirting Gun]

Maybe pass on this opportunity but tryout for Hell's Kitchen or MasterChef next time they're doing auditions?

Haha my mentor made it into the top 20 2 seasons ago for Hells Kitchen. They already had his type picked out so even though he was a better Chef, they picked the nerdier guy for ratings. MasterChef is the biggest joke on TV. Top Chef I might last a round or 2. They are legit. Chopped is becoming a gimmick.

If she is somewhat reasonable and you come at her willing to give up summers and Holidays I think she might go for it.

That is a lot of time.

Hell she might not even want all that time.

Just make it be known that you want to make it work for her. Don't come off pushy or anything like that.

Feel it out and try to keep the tension low.

Im not gonna come off pushy and I havent yet. She is just very spiteful sometimes and if I dont come off right it is gonna turn into a rough custody battle that I would like to avoid.

 

[Simian Raticus]

Best case scenario is everything will work out in my favor. Worst case is she takes me to court. It just sucks that the two outcomes are so far apart. I either get to go up there and have the life I want for him and me or I go from a decent life here with him full time to having him 50/50 and paying an extra $800 a month.

There may be other options that are somewhere in between. If you and the mum are on the same team it makes it a lot easier to survey the options.

 

[Xplosives]

No better place to come for "hard life decisions" than a internet forum especially Sherdog.

this is true, he should also ask in the MMA discussion forum or the wastland, or else he might miss the input of the brightest minds here.

 

[Squirting Gun]

Do you think her parents will have more of a problem with this than her?

If so how much influence do they have? Are the reasonable? SHould you talk to them when you talk to her?

For the first 3 years and also before birth they didnt let her make any decisions. They now are better but they still think they are his 3rd parent.

They are insanely hard to read, even for her. Her mom tries to keep him from MMA or any other active sport he likes like football and Baseball. Her Dad is just dead silent on all matters to her and I. Her Dad has many family lawyers in his family so he has made little hints here and there that if I want to take him anywhere, he will make sure he wins.

My son isnt his kid and Ive done nothing wrong but raise a great kid, just sucks I live in CA.

 

[Squirting Gun]

There may be other options that are somewhere in between. If you and the mum are on the same team it makes it a lot easier to survey the options.

We kinda are now on an even playing field. My last post will tell a little more on the situation.

this is true, he should also ask in the MMA discussion forum or the wastland, or else he might miss the input of the brightest minds here.

You might want to read the thread before responding.

 

[lakersfan45]

The first thing I would do is broach the subject in person with the baby momma in a non-confrontational manner. You'd be surprised how much people will compromise if you treat them as though their thoughts and feelings matter.

Yeah man this

 

[PolishHeadlock]

For the first 3 years and also before birth they didnt let her make any decisions. They now are better but they still think they are his 3rd parent.

They are insanely hard to read, even for her. Her mom tries to keep him from MMA or any other active sport he likes like football and Baseball. Her Dad is just dead silent on all matters to her and I. Her Dad has many family lawyers in his family so he has made little hints here and there that if I want to take him anywhere, he will make sure he wins.

My son isnt his kid and Ive done nothing wrong but raise a great kid, just sucks I live in CA.

I hear you.

I was just thinking that you might want to involve them as much as possible if they have a good amount of influence.

I agree they aren't his parent and shouldn't have any say but we are dealing with the real world so if involving them in the process like they were a parent leads to a better outcome for you and your son you might have to consider it.

Obviously this is a shitty situation and I wish you the best.

 

[Squirting Gun]

I hear you.

I was just thinking that you might want to involve them as much as possible if they have a good amount of influence.

I agree they aren't his parent and shouldn't have any say but we are dealing with the real world so if involving them in the process like they were a parent leads to a better outcome for you and your son you might have to consider it.

Obviously this is a shitty situation and I wish you the best.

Thanks man, I appreciate that.

 

[Xplosives]

You might want to read the thread before responding.

I'd rather do this then read any more of it.

 

[Squirting Gun]

I'd rather do this then read any more of it.

So you would rather have some sleep on a tire, die, or get a mudflap up your mudflap?

Cool bro, then why do you need to respond, you looking for attention son?

 

[TheGauntlet7**]

Im not depending on my bro for a job but its a great opportunity. Yes my son is more important and thats why I want to take him to OR where it is way better to raise a kid and a nice environment.

If Im not a good Chef why do 2 of the 3 restaurants I opened still performing great years later? In this industry you want to get alot under your belt before settling. Im finally to that part of my life where I want to settle and make a great future for my son and this is a potential opportunity.

I just read that in Anders voice from workaholics, haha.

I asked family and friends already and its split about 50/50. Im just looking for more input.


I have had my son full time for the past 3 years and can prove it. CA is a horrible mother state. She is not a bad mom just not great or involved much. Plus she is a Filp and has many lawyers in her family that would side with her. He has my last name and has been through preschool, kindergarten and 1st grade under my address. My brother couldnt get his son with full custody until the mom OD'd and got caught with meth on my nephew and her daughters clothes. My brother is an exec at his corporate job and it took that much before he was granted full custody. Thats how hard it is to be a good guy and get your kid in CA.

You seem to have a bit of an attitude problem. I never said you WEREN'T a good chef, I threw that out as a possibility because I was naturally confused about your strong desire to move for another job opportunity when there are plenty of chefs in California. Also, you ARE depending on your brother if he is going to be your boss and a big reason why you were offered the position is because of your blood relation. After all, you said that there was plenty of supply and not enough demand for good chefs.

As for Oregon being a better place than CA to raise a kid, that depends. What area of CA are you in now? There aren't any good colleges in OR while there are many good colleges in CA(Stanford, UCB, UCLA, UCSD, Harvey Mudd) just to name some. If you all settle in OR, and your son gets into a good school, you'll pay more for out of state tuition.

 

[Xplosives]

So you would rather have some sleep on a tire, die, or get a mudflap up your mudflap?

That's exactly it.

Cool bro, then why do you need to respond, you looking for attention son?

Raising teh post count.

 

[TheGauntlet7**]

That's exactly it.

Raising teh post count.

hahaha

 

[Squirting Gun]

That's exactly it.

Raising teh post count.

Respect

 

[Squirting Gun]

You seem to have a bit of an attitude problem. I never said you WEREN'T a good chef, I threw that out as a possibility because I was naturally confused about your strong desire to move for another job opportunity when there are plenty of chefs in California. Also, you ARE depending on your brother if he is going to be your boss and a big reason why you were offered the position is because of your blood relation. After all, you said that there was plenty of supply and not enough demand for good chefs.

As for Oregon being a better place than CA to raise a kid, that depends. What area of CA are you in now? There aren't any good colleges in OR while there are many good colleges in CA(Stanford, UCB, UCLA, UCSD, Harvey Mudd) just to name some. If you all settle in OR, and your son gets into a good school, you'll pay more for out of state tuition.

Im in SoCal right now which has alot of nice collages. As far as the elementary through HS schools goes its hit or miss. My son goes to a great Elementary school but Im driving 30 minutes to drop him off and pick him up. Around my house are nice HS's. If I were to leave CA to take him to a nicer area I would like that, he would too. As far as collage goes, if he wants to relocate thats fine with me.

 

[TheGauntlet7**]

Im in SoCal right now which has alot of nice collages. As far as the elementary through HS schools goes its hit or miss. My son goes to a great Elementary school but Im driving 30 minutes to drop him off and pick him up. Around my house are nice HS's. If I were to leave CA to take him to a nicer area I would like that, he would too. As far as collage goes, if he wants to relocate thats fine with me.

SoCal does have a vibrant art scene, have you been to MOCA? I think there is no shortage of nice collages there.

On a serious note, what part of SoCal are you in? If memory serves me correct LA's public school system is atrocious, the good schools are mostly if not all private. I think Orange County is probably better.