First date horror stories

[LucasWithLidOff]

So this isn't really a first 'date...' but it's a horror story nonetheless.

Back in October, I broke up with my girlfriend and went on a little bit of a bender for the weekend. Hooked up with some girls that I wish I could forget about... So I'm happy when I catch this really pretty girl looking at me while i'm having lunch at this pizza place downtown. I'm just about to go talk to her, when she comes up to me and does the whole it's really crowded over at the other end of the bar, do you mind if I sit here. I tell her absolutely. We get to talking and her personality is just as great as she looks and i'm really having a good time. I find out she's a paralegal, she went to college at my school, ect. So then she suggests we grab some more drinks at a place nearby. I'm definitely down so we head over... After a few hours of hanging out we're both pretty drunk and she goes Look I don't mean to be forward and I don't usually do this, but would you like to come hang out at my place for a bit... So I have this very pretty, funny, normal, educated girl asking me back to have sex... Great right?

Well, that's when shit got real...

She told me she lived right near by but we end up walking for like 15 minutes to this ridiculously dumpy apartment in a shadier part of Downtown. So we walk in and she takes me down the side stairs into this basement that looked like something out of a Steven King Novel. We walk up to her door, she opens it... and hollllly shit.

I've watched a ton of horror movies in my life... but this place had to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I walk in and there's like white doll masks mounted on the wall (there was even a horse mask,) it was bainted black with purple velvet drapes everywhere, the windows were all spraypained black, there were black candles everywhere, and just tons of other creepy shit everywhere. I was stunned. At first I kind of laughed and was like "Uhhh, are you in the theatre or something?" She just smiled and gave me a non-chalant, "No..." No explanation, nothing... So I'm freaking out a little and I ask her if I could use her bathroom. She points down the hall and in this cheerful voice says it's to your right at the end of the hall.

I start walking down the hall and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ceiling kept getting smaller as I went down the hall and each room was just filled with dolls and strange costumes and masks... I passed her bed room which was just this little closet type room with a bed taking up the whole space and a lightbulb. I mean, this place was like something out of a straight up Horror Movie.

I come back out in disbelief and asked her if she had a roomate or something that was in the theatre and got the same response... "Nope." With this creepy smile. I kept thinking, Ok anytime now someone's gonna pop outta the closet with a knife and a mask and just kill the shit out of me...

End up sexing her anyways and even that was so creepy I just couldn't keep my dick up. I didn't even finish. I just kinda stopped when she asked me to go down on her... And was like, Well, I'll see ya later. The scariest part about all of it was the fact that she was so cute and normal... and then boom, 180.

I still get the chills thinking about it. Who the fuck has a horse mask mounted on their wall?!

I think you might be gay dude.

 

[RoninJin]

Met this girl once through a mutual friend on FB. She contacted me and thought i was cute. I made sure before i PMing her, i re-check all her pics to ensure that she was real and how i would approch this encounter. The pics that she was tag in was decent enough, mainly consisting of friends at work, birthday parties, and school. If i normally see bitches being tag in nothing but club and bars, I would adjust my gameplan for that occasion. So seeing that she was decent I asked her out to a nice restaurant. So i pick her up at her Apt and here comes out a solid 8. Really cute face, nice dress, and a decent body for an Asian. Only thing was weird was that she had a Hello Kitty money pouch. Hmmmm okay, really hoping she's not one of those too cutesy but werid Japanese type.

Dinner went nice and awkward at times mainly due to the fact that we don't really know each other. We spend a good amount of times talking about our mutual friend and how we knew her. However, once the drinks start going we starting touching and playing footsie. In the car we made out and she invited me back to her place for some more drinks. Sure enough, i down for to getting my balls licked. Got to her Apt and we just starting getting into it. First heavy kissing, then she went down on me, then before we move to the bedroom and she told me to eat her out.

As pulled down her undies, she had a fucken afro the size of the Amazon. I was thinking is this modern era New York City or colony rural farm era of Beijing, China? So, I dive my head in hoping not suffocate, occasionally surfacing back up every 25 second for fresh up. She moan but i gassed. There were times i thought i had passed out like someone had applied the RNC on me. Eventually We moved on. So I'm banging her doggie when i notice she had a "Daddy Little Princess" tattoo on her lower back. At first i thought that was kinda kinky and naughty in a way. Then i realize how much of a turnoff it was, because she had several pictures of her with her dad throughout the whole room.

So me trying to concentrate kept thinking about her dad instead of her. My shit then went dead mid way through. I ended up fingering her till she went to sleep. Then i went to her refrigerator and ate all her Cheese Stick.

 

[Zer]

I don't have any horror stories, but I guess I have one weird first date. The girl wasn't particularly stunning, nor the date itself memorable aside from the drive home. I picked her up, we went to starbucks, and that went by the book, but on the way home, a bird flew under my wheel and I ran it over. She was like; "did you just run over a bird?!" and I said; "well, he kind of flew right under my wheel. There was no avoiding it." I didn't care since I was more on this particular date to kill time. She wanted me to stop the car, but there wasn't an area to do so. I just remarked that there was no way he survived, and nowhere to really turn around anyways. She didn't say anything else, and that was that.

Quality. It's like if Cormac McCarthy had a first date horror story

 

[Zer]

So I'm banging her doggie when i notice she had a "Daddy Little Princess" tattoo on her lower back. At first i thought that was kinda kinky and naughty in a way. Then i realize how much of a turnoff it was, because she had several pictures of her with her dad throughout the whole room.

Daddy issues are the shit. Everyone has a story about some girl with daddy issues but I've personally never met one, much less banged one. I read stories like this and I'm dying of envy (No homo)

 

[Jolomies]

Then i went to her refrigerator and ate all her Cheese Stick.

This really crowned the story. This thread has been hilarious and certainly saved my work night.

 

[Bukowski82]

I think you might be gay dude.

Naw, bruh. But, I'd have probably said the same thing if I'd heard this story from one of my buddies and not actually been there. Appearantley, when I left I was so drunk that on my way home I left numerous VM's for my friends about the experience. A few of them called me laughing and said I sounded horrified by the place.

No amount of descriptors can do it justice. It really was that bad...

BTW, if your username has anything to do with the early 90's rapper Lucas with the Lid off, then that's fucking awesome.

 

[Naramie]

There is this woman at work that I have become pretty good friends with. We always hang out after work, go out drinking and stuff. Before you say anything she's married and usually her husband is with us, he's a cool dude. But anyways, she's always talking about her friend and how she is a great person but ends up meeting alot of dbags. I have only met a couple of her friends but she really wants to introduce me to her because she thinks I am good dude and would be a great fit for her. I'm like... yeah sure (sarcasm) this happens for a few months it is starting to get kind annoying and eventually just say fuck it I'll do it and hang out with her train wreck friend. We all agree to meet up at this local bar near our work. I walk through the door and I see this girl that I suspect was one of my exes waiting near the bar, I haven't seen her in like 4 years but I'm pretty sure it's her. I'm like awkward move to the back where my co worker is. I ask her where her friend is and she says oh yeah she'll be here in a minute. The mysterious friend was my ex.

 

[Bukowski82]

Met this girl once through a mutual friend on FB. She contacted me and thought i was cute. I made sure before i PMing her, i re-check all her pics to ensure that she was real and how i would approch this encounter. The pics that she was tag in was decent enough, mainly consisting of friends at work, birthday parties, and school. If i normally see bitches being tag in nothing but club and bars, I would adjust my gameplan for that occasion. So seeing that she was decent I asked her out to a nice restaurant. So i pick her up at her Apt and here comes out a solid 8. Really cute face, nice dress, and a decent body for an Asian. Only thing was weird was that she had a Hello Kitty money pouch. Hmmmm okay, really hoping she's not one of those too cutesy but werid Japanese type.

Dinner went nice and awkward at times mainly due to the fact that we don't really know each other. We spend a good amount of times talking about our mutual friend and how we knew her. However, once the drinks start going we starting touching and playing footsie. In the car we made out and she invited me back to her place for some more drinks. Sure enough, i down for to getting my balls licked. Got to her Apt and we just starting getting into it. First heavy kissing, then she went down on me, then before we move to the bedroom and she told me to eat her out.

As pulled down her undies, she had a fucken afro the size of the Amazon. I was thinking is this modern era New York City or colony rural farm era of Beijing, China? So, I dive my head in hoping not suffocate, occasionally surfacing back up every 25 second for fresh up. She moan but i gassed. There were times i thought i had passed out like someone had applied the RNC on me. Eventually We moved on. So I'm banging her doggie when i notice she had a "Daddy Little Princess" tattoo on her lower back. At first i thought that was kinda kinky and naughty in a way. Then i realize how much of a turnoff it was, because she had several pictures of her with her dad throughout the whole room.

So me trying to concentrate kept thinking about her dad instead of her. My shit then went dead mid way through. I ended up fingering her till she went to sleep. Then i went to her refrigerator and ate all her Cheese Stick.

lol, this might be the best story of the thread!

 

[lion paw]

Went out with this one chick from college.We had a date..and she paid!So not really a nightmare.Until,the "pretty boy" in our click got a bj from her days later and that prompted me to say f*** you.

No matter,she ended up having a kid with some dumbass,wanna be hard redneck whose had jealousy issues and had his ass kick numerous times.He's lucky to have a tooth in his head unlike his dad who has a few to none.

Oh and the guy she blew,as far as I know,typical cocky bastard with no job,wears nice clothes(issued to him from his 12-20 hr a week job.The Gap or some shit),bums rides,lies about his sexual prowess.She knows how to pick em.

 

[JuanLeche]

Went out with this one chick from college.We had a date..and she paid!So not really a nightmare.Until,the "pretty boy" in our click got a bj from her days later and that prompted me to say f*** you.

No matter,she ended up having a kid with some dumbass,wanna be hard redneck whose had jealousy issues and had his ass kick numerous times.He's lucky to have a tooth in his head unlike his dad who has a few to none.

Oh and the guy she blew,as far as I know,typical cocky bastard with no job,wears nice clothes(issued to him from his 12-20 hr a week job.The Gap or some shit),bums rides,lies about his sexual prowess.She knows how to pick em.

you mad?

 

[Phreaxer]

Went out with this one chick from college.We had a date..and she paid!So not really a nightmare.Until,the "pretty boy" in our click got a bj from her days later and that prompted me to say f*** you.

No matter,she ended up having a kid with some dumbass,wanna be hard redneck whose had jealousy issues and had his ass kick numerous times.He's lucky to have a tooth in his head unlike his dad who has a few to none.

Oh and the guy she blew,as far as I know,typical cocky bastard with no job,wears nice clothes(issued to him from his 12-20 hr a week job.The Gap or some shit),bums rides,lies about his sexual prowess.She knows how to pick em.

 

[LucasWithLidOff]

Naw, bruh. But, I'd have probably said the same thing if I'd heard this story from one of my buddies and not actually been there. Appearantley, when I left I was so drunk that on my way home I left numerous VM's for my friends about the experience. A few of them called me laughing and said I sounded horrified by the place.

No amount of descriptors can do it justice. It really was that bad...

BTW, if your username has anything to do with the early 90's rapper Lucas with the Lid off, then that's fucking awesome.

Yeah that's where I got my name from. I was just giving you shit though, I've been freaked out by weird women in the past too.

 

[lion paw]

you mad?

Ha!dodged the bullet.Sure I have a shitty job but,I have a job non the less.

 

[Bukowski82]

This isn't a horror story, actually the complete opposite... But cool and having to do with a first date. A little break from all the fucked up stuff in here, lol.

I'm meeting a friend I haven't see for a while at this dive bar downtown to catch up. We're just talking and catching up when I see this girl walk in... To say this girl was amazing just wouldn't do her justice. Possibly one of the most beautiful girls I've ever actually seen. She looked like a 22 year old prettier Winona Ryder, amazing body, had purple highlights in her hair. The purple highlights kind of threw me, but this was the kind of girl that something like that only made her more attractive. Anyways she walks in, goes to the bar, catches me just drooling over her and gives me a smile. Which I was sure was just a pity smile.

I was thinking, Awesome work John... You just completely creeped that girl out. Anyways I pointed her out to my buddy and said, sometime tonight I need to meet that girl. He laughed and said "That one? Oh I'm pretty sure you will..." and when I asked why he was so sure he said "Because I invited her out tonight, she's a friend of mine..."

Her and her friends come over and we all meet. I'm a very shy person, not to mention she was clearly wayyy out of my league... but add in the fact that I thought I'd completely creeped her out so I was actually pretty nervous. But she was so nice and type A that after I had another beer or so I started loosening up and finding my groove. Before I know it it's just us talking and her friends and my buddy are in a completely different section of the bar. I thought fuck it, if I don't ask her to grab something to eat tonight I'll always regret this... So I do and to my suprise she said yes. This is where it gets awesome...

My boy's a good dude and understands, so just me and her take off to grab some food. On the way there, this girl stops me, pulls me into an alley and starts making out with me... She starts kissing my chest and then I feel the worst pain ever. This chick just fucking bit me. Not like a play bite... A 'like that time the neighbors dog just fucked you up' type of bite. Well, we didn't make it to dinner. Went straight to my place and I had the absolute best sex of my entire life, all night. The next day we went out again, decided to cut out the middleman of having more dates and just be together... and a week later she had moved out of her apartment into my place.

We were together for three months. Best three months ever. The weekend we broke up is the beginning of the Doll story.

 

[Asathor]

This isn't a horror story, actually the complete opposite... But cool and having to do with a first date. A little break from all the fucked up stuff in here, lol.

I'm meeting a friend I haven't see for a while at this dive bar downtown to catch up. We're just talking and catching up when I see this girl walk in... To say this girl was amazing just wouldn't do her justice. Possibly one of the most beautiful girls I've ever actually seen. She looked like a 22 year old prettier Winona Ryder, amazing body, had purple highlights in her hair. The purple highlights kind of threw me, but this was the kind of girl that something like that only made her more attractive. Anyways she walks in, goes to the bar, catches me just drooling over her and gives me a smile. Which I was sure was just a pity smile.

I was thinking, Awesome work John... You just completely creeped that girl out. Anyways I pointed her out to my buddy and said, sometime tonight I need to meet that girl. He laughed and said "That one? Oh I'm pretty sure you will..." and when I asked why he was so sure he said "Because I invited her out tonight, she's a friend of mine..."

Her and her friends come over and we all meet. I'm a very shy person, not to mention she was clearly wayyy out of my league... but add in the fact that I thought I'd completely creeped her out so I was actually pretty nervous. But she was so nice and type A that after I had another beer or so I started loosening up and finding my groove. Before I know it it's just us talking and her friends and my buddy are in a completely different section of the bar. I thought fuck it, if I don't ask her to grab something to eat tonight I'll always regret this... So I do and to my suprise she said yes. This is where it gets awesome...

My boy's a good dude and understands, so just me and her take off to grab some food. On the way there, this girl stops me, pulls me into an alley and starts making out with me... She starts kissing my chest and then I feel the worst pain ever. This chick just fucking bit me. Not like a play bite... A 'like that time the neighbors dog just fucked you up' type of bite. Well, we didn't make it to dinner. Went straight to my place and I had the absolute best sex of my entire life, all night. The next day we went out again, decided to just cut out the middleman of having more dates and just be together... and a week later she had moved out of her apartment into my place.

We were together for three months. Best three months ever. The weekend we broke up is the beginning of the Doll story.

Where is the horror in this? You had sex for three months with a sexy and great girl....
WHERE is the Horror, WHERE???

 

[Bukowski82]

Where is the horror in this? You had sex for three months with a sexy and great girl....
WHERE is the Horror, WHERE???

I put a little pre-amble in the first sentance. Thought I'd switch it up and because it was relevant to my first story about the girl with the creepy doll masks. Hahah. But yeah, no horror there. Best three months of my life.

 

[Phreaxer]

Where is the horror in this? You had sex for three months with a sexy and great girl....
WHERE is the Horror, WHERE???

This isn't a horror story, actually the complete opposite... But cool and having to do with a first date. A little break from all the fucked up stuff in here, lol.

Reading comprehension ftl.

Cool story Buko

 

[Asathor]

I put a little pre-amble in the first sentance. Thought I'd switch it up and because it was relevant to my first story about the girl with the creepy doll masks. Hahah. But yeah, no horror there. Best three months of my life.

I know, i am just drunk. But i am happy if some of the Sherbros have great sex with great girls.

 

[Bukowski82]

Reading comprehension ftl.

Cool story Buko

Thanks, Buddy!

 

[Strychnine]

met a girl at a hockey game, very plain looking nothing special but she was really into hockey and didn't think much of it romantically more as a friend. We exchange numbers and talk occasionally.

I get a phone call from her, she has tickets for a playoff game right behind the penalty box. She tells me "I'll take you, but you have to make me dinner" I ask what she wants she says something good like meatloaf. I go find a recipe for meatloaf and bake up a couple potatoes, creamed spinach and figure I'll buy her something at the game. She comes over and we have a quiet uneventful dinner. We go to the game and more of the same, just a nice time.

We get to my car in the parking lot and she starts getting really flirtly. The parking lot is a mess, cars pulling out everywhere. Pretty much like any major event any of you have been to. Well I'm trying to concentrate and she starts pinching me and feeling me up. I tell her "hold off, let me get out of this first", she keeps going grabbing at my crotch. Finally I say (sorry forgot her name) "so and so cut it out" she responds "so and so isn't here, this is so and so" so I think basically I'm dealing with a crazy bitch with multiple personalities. Finally I grab her seat belt and tie up her wrists and latch in the seat belt. This gets her more excited, she starts rubbing her wrists on her crotch and saying things like "I bet you are going to make me suck you off while I'm tied up". She reminded me of Ghostbuster, "I am the gatekeeper" she was really acting crazy. She kept saying really raunchy stuff and rubbing herself.

Finally we get back to my place, I untie her, get her out of my car and beeline to the house. I tell her thanks for the tickets and leave. If she wasn't so crazy I would have been up to bringing her in for the night but all I could think is "how am I going to get this bitch outta my house?"

About a day later I get a phone call from her asking what happened and why hadn't I called her. I tell her the way she acted and she says "oh, that was so and so, she does get wild, I'm really sorry about that. I'm nothing like her though". I just say thanks again and that's the last I ever talked to her.

You should've been the keymaster and wifed her.