Imma throw my brother under the bus for your entertainment. So while I moved back to Germany and he was home in the balkans, he grew some nice muscles. I didn't notice anything, he is medium sized. Later I found out the dumbass was taking anavar



. He said he did it for like 7 months. I do not know if it was that long or longer or if he took anything else. He was just like 85 kg solidly lean, something like that. Now he is super consistent and trains like 4x each and every week. He got the consistency, it's a hobby to him. But 1 of my workouts is like 2 or 3 of his. However I average like 5-6. Now I'm starting to be more consistent and responsible. We both started gyming early, I was 16 he was like 18-19. We both hit 120 kg bench presses in our early 20ies. Both didn't squat or DL. That is basicaly 95% of our generarion and town where we are from. Bench press, no squat or deadlift. "How much can you bench press". Nowadays he is like 78 kg ? And just looks fit and lean, doesn't look like a athlete. He is also my height, I'm 182 he is 181 cm. I got genetically fat legs since school, he got the skinny legs of our father. I never seen a steroid with my own eyes. He still can do 110 kg BP for reps and still doesn't Dl. I think he squats a bit now. He does get coaching but for diet, actually I think the guy also tells him what to train. I am uncoachable as I am a pro

. I spared too much in my life with active boxers to have some guy tell ne what to do. And writing food down is obnoxious. Like seriously. Just starting to count and plan is a mental cage. You really want me to weigh and eat the same stuff and plan it. I always was a nutrition nerd. I just am interested on eating healthy. But I had major sugar addictions and overeating healthy food cause I didn't gauge it as too much or pay attention to quantity. Healthy food makes you fat too. I was supposed to be a boxer and fighter like everyone else in the gym but I always just ducked going to any fights, besides once. And I would randomly quit training and than apear again. All the other regulars who were regular for years, had about 20-30 fights by now. Amateur boxing. Not a single person made it. At all. Some did place #1-3 in bosnian amateur nationals. Which sometimes is ridiculous. My best friend who invited me to boxing in school, we weren't friends than, he was just a mean kid from school. He got like 3rd palce at nationals. Here's how. Win 1 fight. Get a free pass cause it was an uneven number of fighters or someone pulled out and than lose a fight. But that was "kadeti" aka 17-19 age class.
Actually one guy from our town went on to do pro mma and ended up 10-6 I think. Last fight got KOd cold in Russia and stopped. He is a bjj black belt today. He used me for grappling after boxing class. Aka submited me like 10 x in 30 minutes after we did 1.5 hours boxing class. I did catch him twice but that was when he was high blue belt or close to purple. Also he had 20 pounds on me.
Another guy was promising and freakishly strong, ran trough some ammy mma fights like 5-0. Than lost to a guy in the pros by body shot ko. After that beat one can in the pros and stopped training.
I think I might be the second person from my town who actually ever trained jiujitsu. Ok it's a mini town. If would could should. Would been fun if I had a successful kickboxing career. Now I'm old. 37 close to 38. I still think I can win pro matches. Let's get back in shape and do some fights. For once. The one event I did was a opening boxing match. Basicaly a amy practice fight. Not smoker. Full amy rules 3 x 2. Refree. KOs. Ring. Tiny crowd (just the boxers associates and friends, barely anyone). Event had 20 fights, 10 opening and 10 scored. I was so shit. I 100% won, no scoring though. I won 1 & 2 rounds, 3rd round I don't think a single punch was landed and I just used my guard, but I give it to the guy on activity. I legit had the thought after end of round 2 that I'm gonna quit, like as if I got super tired, I probably forgot to bread half the time from nerves and adrenaline. Morning of the fight my back and legs were sore. Our genius training was 6 days in a row and on sunday fight. I got talked into it on friday. I thought it was next sunday, started jumping rope like crazy, everyone told me the guy isn't strong you will win. Best preperation, highly professional. I'm suprised how nobody from our gym went a succesful pro. "Sarcasm".
I was fucking nervous. Felt stupid driving there, like why the fuck am I doing this. Nasty nerves. People get brain damage from boxing. Acumulated.
Guy was younger than me, I was basicaly full grown like 22 or something and he was 19. Or I was 23. He was taller and heavier though. 87 kg and maybe 187 cm. I was 182 cm and 84 kg. I used to be always 84 kg. He was super medicore and not explosive. I only remember he got me a tiny little with a suprise punch that sort of twisted my neck. I mean he landed some punches but basically nothing good. Just had minimal chest and forehad redding. Which my mom of course had to notice. It didn't hurt. The fight hurt less than 90% of all sparring sessions we do. It literaly didn't hurt. But the nerves were nasty, I was exhausted before the fight already. Overtrained and sore. I slept 7 hours normaly I can get 9. Had less apetite in the morning. Fight was super average. I 100% won the first 2 rounds. There is no scoring in the practice / opening fights. Other guy had a license I didn't. Trainer just used a license of a past member who looked a bit like me



. I just remember his half deaf trainer was mad about it after the fight, which confirms that I won lol. Well generally I know if I'm winning rounds from sparring.
And I never ever knocked out anyone in my entire life. I never saw a knock out at the gym either. Well I sort of got tkod once at a private gym by a stupid thugish guy I went there with sparing him in kickboxing, guy had many pro fights and was heavy. He did suck though, I was just fat at that time and didn't train. So nothing to write home about. And sometimes at sparring when it gets tough I think to myself why the fuck are we doing this we are giving brain damage here. For no reason. It's like a love hate. I don't remember the last time I sparred. Could be 2 years ago. I think I did like 2 rounds with my friend back home some months ago. But very light.
I wanna do thai technical sparring. Lose brain cells in the ring only.
Soon I'll be in school, maybe, and won't post these long ass write ups to sherdog. Enjoy it while you can. Since I'm like one of the last mohawkianians here like Chuck. Who even still posts or writes threads.
I can not die not having proof of fighting ability. I gotta win at least 2 fight. 8 would be cool. I guess I'm being a cheapskates with my brain cells.
I'll just plan shit and never fight


. The usual. I really should though. I know professional fighters aren't shit. They aren't. Regular guys. They just train more.
Considering my mental health issues in the past


maybe not the worst idea to spare myself. But it's boring not fighting.
The president of our boxing club was like you did good you weren't scared you threw that tripple hook, boxing trainer said what are you talking about he was as pale as this wall. I was definitely scared.
Embarassing detail which I maybe lived down now 15 years later. Gonna share. I just kept quiet about this so everyone forgets it who knew


.
So basically in sparring I never ever throw 100% power. Only on my first spar when I didn't know better. First punch full power cross into nose, his t shirt full of blood. Trainer is fine with it and later gives him shit for flinching from a body shot. He made man out of us. Genrally moving forward with training and boxing educatiom, I literaly never throw full shots. I don't wanna get into fights at sparring. Trainer even called me soft before. At best he once said these hands are gona win titles or something like that. But than of course I did another period of disapearing for about 7 months. Trainer is strict and always right and got the last word and also first word. You can only do at training what he tells you and he is right any way.
This opening boxing fight starts, I throw full force as it's a real fight, I throw something like a 1-2 straight. Def conected the cross. Or I threw two crosses. Def conected the cross. I instinctively quietly said "sorry" to the guy and did the small hand up gesture (in this case glove up). I'm just not used to throw full. Fight moves on normaly. I forgot this happened. Next day at training, trainer always gives some speech and comments after a event. Who boxed how ect. He freakin tells everyone how I said sorry and people were laughing. Like he was embarassed, but said I boxed well. Some 2 baffons who started coming for recreation to boxing class, they never spar, just showed up a couple times. They started laughing about it and making snarky comments. Than in the locker, actually in the shower, our mma guy who I roll with, slaps me in the face and says "sorry". I get the point. He says don't ever say sorry again. He didn't slap me hard. Than my fucking father some day tells me " see I know you aren't like that, you apologised", the president of our gym is also my cousin from my moms side, well it's a tiny town anyways whoever told him. I get so pissed I start threatening my dad. I kick our dog in the ribs to make a point.
This was so humiliating. I thought I was such a huge pussy. Glad it didn't really spread and people forgot about it.
In the end I sparred enough people round town, including friends and people at the fitness gyms, for it to not follow me.
I just felt so embarassed.
Story ends here.
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I think I need a job again
