Best bud might be losing his mind.

[punky brewster]

Nice internet info. Where every pain might be cancer.

Dude, chill out, let your friend live his life and start to worry about yours.

Wow, you've got it all figured out. Everything on the internet is bullshit, huh?
He's just talking about peer reviewed, published stats based on millions of clinical cases. Take a minute and look at the DSM. This isn't dream analysis or wild claims of knowing the root of all mental disorders.
He's talking about the average age of onset of bipolar disorder, basic statistics.

Lemme guess, you think Alzheimer's symptoms start manifesting when someone is nine years old? Or better yet, something like Alzheimer's syndrome is a bullshit internet disorder?

 

[cooks1]

He runs through them because he needs them. He will continue running through them in marriage. My old best friend was just like this.

My advice is to tell him the truth, straight up, one time, go through all your commitments you made for him and then create some space. Not saying to cut him out of your life, but I'm willing to bet these guys will crash and burn and they will take it out on everyone closest to them.

This. I have been in similar situations a few times.

Start off by saying how happy you are for him about everything. Then you need to properly set the stage for when you lower the boom. Don't just go straight in with it.

First start by apologizing for saying you are about to say but that you would not truly be his friend otherwise. And express how really awkward it is for you. This will put him in a little more receptive and tolerant frame of mind. Share that you are worried. And that he would really be helping you if he could put your worries to bed.

Then share your concerns. Don't be gentle about it, but don't be accusatory. Start with the big picture ( Bi-Polar Behavior runs in his family) then drill down to his specific actions which have increased in scale and scope and have happened in a short time span. How any of these things on their own is kind of atypical for him. But altogether, in such a short time span- you are worried. But leave it completely open ended from there.

You will to learn a lot about his state of mind from how he responds. Regardless of how he responds though let him know you are there to support him. Don't expect an epiphany out of him. In the end, all you are trying to do is get him to think about these things.

Try to end things on a positive note, then as @sniper suggested, give him a little bit wider orbit and stay observant from that larger distance. I am not saying this is the case, but when people are circling the drain, you throw them a rope, which they need to grab. You do not swim in to the circling drain to save them.

 

[Deleted member 391673]

Like I said, its not like I wanna stop him from marrying her. Its more like I want him to see the bigger picture. His impulsiveness is out of control. If she makes him happy then good for him. I'm not trying to step on his toes. However, he needs to protect himself.

I doubt very many relationships that start so quickly and culminate in marriage so early on survive. And if this one falls apart it can really hit him hard especially if you are correct in assessing his mental condition.

You care about your friend but you can't really do anything for him or bring up mental issues without potentially alienating yourself from him and ruining the friendship. You also can't really take the responsibility on yourself to be his guide/mentor, nor can you force a person to acknowledge something they don't wish to acknowledge themselves. Tread lightly in this situation.

 

[Mr. 4K]

It's good you're willing to shoot straight and help your friends, but a few questions..

I don't know much of anything about being bi polar, but you said the dad has it, so does that automatically mean the kids get it too? Has your friend been diagnosed with this?
I get why it's on your mind, but I think you need to have some solid evidence behind that before bringing all this up.

You said he bought a car and a house, does he have the money for this? Was it really all impulse, or did he get a good deal? The new woman get his mind going on settling down?

Love can make the most logical people do the most illogical things. You dont have to be bipolar to be a fool in love. I think we've all had a friend or family member rush into a relationship and get deep real quick. Sometimes this shit works out, sometimes it doesn't.
But words hardly ever change a determined heart. I'd have a conversation with him about things moving fast and the potential future problems regarding putting her name on the house deed, but that's about all you can do.
Worst comes to worst, try to get to know his girl. She could be a great girl, and she could look out for your friend like a good wife would

It doesn't mean that he'll automatically get it. But he does have a family history of it. So the odds aren't in his favor. No he hasnt because he has refused to really go get treatment. He has in the past taken anti depressants and was seeing someone to talk to. We've talked about that in the past. Only a couple of times at most.

I stay out of his finances. I didn't ask him. I know he got a good deal on payments for his house because its considered farm land. Its some sort of tax break. Government wants people to move out there or some shit. I do know that hes going to have to invest quite a bit of money into the Cobra but again I don't ask. He has told me that the house was pure impulse when thinks about it.

Obviously she did but after a month is crazy and not even living together for an entire week. Its the fact that all of this happened in rapid succession that has me worried. Its so much impulsiveness. I don't have beef with this new girl. I actually look forward to meeting her.

And I completely agree with you're saying about how I should go about it. That was my original thought and I'm not going to bring up his family's history about him possibly being Bipolar.

 

[Mr. 4K]

Wow, you've got it all figured out. Everything on the internet is bullshit, huh?
He's just talking about peer reviewed, published stats based on millions of clinical cases. Take a minute and look at the DSM. This isn't dream analysis or wild claims of knowing the root of all mental disorders.
He's talking about the average age of onset of bipolar disorder, basic statistics.

Lemme guess, you think Alzheimer's symptoms start manifesting when someone is nine years old? Or better yet, something like Alzheimer's syndrome is a bullshit internet disorder?

In b4 Benjamin Button is used as a talking point.

 

[SmilinDesperado]

It doesn't mean that he'll automatically get it. But he does have a family history of it. So the odds aren't in his favor. No he hasnt because he has refused to really go get treatment. He has in the passed taken anti depressants and was seeing someone to talk to. We've talked about that in the past. Only a couple of times at most.

I stay out of his finances. I didn't ask him. I know he got a good deal on payments for his house because its considered farm land. Its some sort of tax break. Government wants people to move out there or some shit. I do know that hes going to have to invest quite a bit of money into the Cobra but again I don't ask. He has told me that the house was pure impulse when thinks about it.

Obviously she did but after a month is crazy and not even living together for an entire week. Its the fact that all of this happened in rapid succession that has me worried. Its so much impulsiveness. I don't have beef with this new girl. I actually look forward to meeting her.

And I completely agree with you're saying about how I should go about it. That was my original thought and I'm not going to bring up his family's history about him possibly being Bipolar.

That's a tough call.
I see the concern a bit more clearly now with those details. I think i missed the part about them only knowing each other for a month. That is insane.
Unfortunately, there may not be much you can do besides voice your concerns.
It's hard reasoning with people with mental health issues because they don't see reason. Pretty crazy that he won't seek treatment knowing what the illness is doing to his dad. But when you're young..i guess you think you're invincible.
Welp, if anybody can get a stubborn man to do something, it's the woman he's banging. Hopefully she's a good one

 

[Mr. 4K]

That's a tough call.
I see the concern a bit more clearly now with those details. I think i missed the part about them only knowing each other for a month. That is insane.
Unfortunately, there may not be much you can do besides voice your concerns.
It's hard reasoning with people with mental health issues because they don't see reason. Pretty crazy that he won't seek treatment knowing what the illness is doing to his dad. But when you're young..i guess you think you're invincible.
Welp, if anybody can get a stubborn man to do something, it's the woman he's banging. Hopefully she's a good one

When I said he wont get treatment, we're strictly talking about depression. He used to take shit years ago. I've mentioned briefly how hes had it effect him in recent years in an earlier post.

If this truly is a manic episode, she's only known him when hes super high. When he crashes, he wont want to do shit.

Idk mane.

 

[SmilinDesperado]

When I said he wont get treatment, we're strictly talking about depression. He used to take shit years ago. I've mentioned briefly how hes had it effect him in recent years in an earlier post.

If this truly is a manic episode, she's only known him when hes super high. When he crashes, he wont want to do shit.

Idk mane.

Yikes.
I dont envy your position, man.
Sounds like she's pretty out there herself If she's on board with all this

Honestly not sure what i would do in this situation. I'd probably just hear him out first when u.meet for the beer and see where his head is to see how far deep in he's in this. Hopefully he knows this situation looks crazy to anyone looking in on it

 

[Mau]

Wow, you've got it all figured out. Everything on the internet is bullshit, huh?
He's just talking about peer reviewed, published stats based on millions of clinical cases. Take a minute and look at the DSM. This isn't dream analysis or wild claims of knowing the root of all mental disorders.
He's talking about the average age of onset of bipolar disorder, basic statistics.

Lemme guess, you think Alzheimer's symptoms start manifesting when someone is nine years old? Or better yet, something like Alzheimer's syndrome is a bullshit internet disorder?

lol @ this overreaction.

No, I'm talking about a random dude trying to diagnose his friend with a random disease because he is acting weird, or maybe, doing things he wants to do based on stuff he pulled from his ass.

"He is acting weird, bought a car and wants to marry someone, he might be bipolar because he is 25 years old" LOL

 

[Kraysla]

The car and the house don't seem like a big deal, but definitely talk to him about the marriage, especially the part about putting her name on the house. Talking about rushing into marriage would just be something natural one friend would do for another, and you wouldn't have to bring up your nagging suspicion that he's experiencing mental illness. You could talk to him, feel him out, and then see how he acts in the next few weeks.

 

[Mr. 4K]

lol @ this overreaction.

No, I'm talking about a random dude trying to diagnose his friend with a random disease because he is acting weird, or maybe, doing things he wants to do based on stuff he pulled from his ass.

"He is acting weird, bought a car and wants to marry someone, he might be bipolar because he is 25 years old" LOL

I guess this thread was tl;dr for you.

 

[TheWobbler]

Its a tough call especially if he is serious about putting her name on the house. If that was my mate I would tell him that is the worst mistake he could make. I wouldnt care if he told me to fuck off, i'd just let him know as a friend it was a bad idea.

The other stuff doesnt bother me as some people do rush in to shit when they get together but he needs to make sure his assets are protected.

 

[Mr. 4K]

The car and the house don't seem like a big deal, but definitely talk to him about the marriage, especially the part about putting her name on the house. Talking about rushing into marriage would just be something natural one friend would do for another, and you wouldn't have to bring up your nagging suspicion that he's experiencing mental illness. You could talk to him, feel him out, and then see how he acts in the next few weeks.

You're right its not. Its just when you put all three of these together in a span of a couple months is when it starts looking strange.

 

[Mau]

So you think its all normal behavior?

Why not? He is buying a car a wants to marry a chick he met on the internet.

You even found weird he bought a house without talking to a friend you had in common. Really, who cares? You said it isn't a big deal but it's a point of concern to you.

 

[Hogey]

Tell him your gay and want to suck his dick, his response will indicate his mental health.

 

[Mr. 4K]

Why not? He is buying a car a wants to marry a chick he met on the internet.

You even found weird he bought a house without talking to a friend you had in common. Really, who cares? You said it isn't a big deal but it's a point of concern to you.

I truly enjoy how you dumb everything down to fit your narrative. That's not me being sarcastic either. You should post in the OT.

 

[TeTe]

My best friend's dad tried killing himself about two years ago due to his mental illness going unchecked. (He's Bipolar.) Now males generally don't start showing signs of this until they're around 23-25 years old. Well he just turned 25.

Anyhoo, I recently bought a piece of property and about a two months later, he decided to buy his own house. It was very impulsive because he didn't even go through our mutual friend who is a real estate agent. He looked at a total of four houses and just made his decision. No big deal, I didn't think anything of it. I congratulated him and let him know that it was super awesome. I didn't think this was impulsive until you factor in a few more things that happened here recently.

Homie decided to purchase a 2004 Mustang Cobra. That's badass. It needs a lot of work done to it but nothing too serious. This didn't worry me at all but he sent me a text out of the blue a couple nights ago that made me literally say "What the fuck!?"

I just found out that I'm going to be the best man at his wedding. He's getting married to a chick he met off of tinder a month ago. The shit is fucking crazy. He said he started dating her because her profile said Christian. I then ask him whens the big date and he tells me November 10th of this year.... I'm at a loss for words and he's talking about putting her name on the house too...

Now I'm torn. I want to be happy for him but this is just way too wild and I don't believe in coincidences. I'm starting to think he's having an extreme high manic episode. We're going to grab some beer over the weekend and I don't know if I should voice my concern. I don't wanna step on his toes and I feel like I can't be the only one who is seeing this as extreme.

What do you guys think? I've been getting a lot of people's opinions on this because like I said I don't wanna step on his toes but I don't wanna call him crazy.

Cliffs:
-Best friend's dad is bipolar and tried committing suicide two years ago.

-My friend is now at the age where Bipolar starts to show.

-Bought a piece of property a couple month after me

-Bought a 2004 Cobra right after purchasing the house

-Got engaged to a girl he met off a Tinder a month ago and has only lived with her for 6 days.

-Going to meet with him over the weekend and I'm wondering if I should voice my concern because this is way too extreme when you put everything together.I think he's having a manic episode.

Good chance your friend could be bi-polar because of the family history. However, a lot of people who don't have conditions are impulsive as well. Might be a combination of the two.

 

[Mr. 4K]

Good chance your friend could be bi-polar because of the family history. However, a lot of people who don't have conditions are impulsive as well. Might be a combination of the two.

I'll give the benefit of doubt here but marrying someone only after dating for a month and having lived together for six days? That's not a normal impulsiveness.

 

[TeTe]

I'll give the benefit of doubt here but marrying someone only after dating for a month and having lived together for six days? That's not a normal impulsiveness.

Sure, it's not really the norm, but I don't know if I'd chalk it up to bi-polar though.

I've met quite a few people that have jumped into marriage like that and most of the time it's because of family issues. Some people just think they've "found the one" or hate being alone and get desperate because maybe it's hard for them to get laid.

Hell, who knows, maybe it's one of those love at first sight things and they truly believe it even though it isn't normal. It takes two as well and look at the chick who has agreed to marry him.. does she have bi-polar or some other mental issues? I'd think she has daddy issues long before that.

Not saying that he can't have some underlying issues at all here. Very possible. I'd just give him your best advice and talk it through with him. Leave it at that then, he's going to do whatever he wants to. Then you get to sit back and see how it plays out. You'll probably learn a lot about him afterward.

 

[SleepyBoy]

Obviously we're going to need pics of said fiancee.