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- Oct 11, 2012
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When I was 18 I suffered what I feel was a divine revelation.
I was walking back through my towns streets from my dealers house where I'd picked up 50 tabs of acid when it happened. I was for all intents and purposes, stone cold sober.
Police were approaching on the pavement and I resolved to look normal as I figured they had nothing on me, they quizzed who I was and apologised saying I looked like someone they were after. I'm 6'6 so that's fucking unlikely, but maybe they were watching the dealers place and wanted to build up info, who knows.
I mention this only to impart that I was not in a normal state of mind at the time. It was dusk and the streets were dark but the sky was still light, obscured by the terraced housing. I carried on my way relieved and several steps later had a vision that almost caused me to stumble. It was nothing revelatory, just a flash of grey/pink gradated light and a black wedge/line curved across it. As surprising as it was, it lasted only a fraction of a second and I put it down to a perceptual disturbance like a rush to head or the like, an experience, being tall with low blood pressure that I'm familiar with.
It was ten minutes later that I was walking across a bridge where the view of the sky was exposed, the wind blew my fringe across my eyes and I flicked my head to put it back in place. The flash of grey/pink light was the sunset, the curved wedge of black was my fringe in front of my eye, the image was identical.
The timing of it, such that I still had full recollection of the unusual first image, and my absolute certainty as to the experience lead me to conclude that I had been shown in no uncertain terms that the universe was entirely fated. That I had been shown a glimpse of my immediate future.
This I reasoned was the best evidence I'd ever had for their being a God, the beaming into my brain of that near future image not only told me the future was as scripted as the past, but that I was supposed to know this. That some intentionality chose to reveal this universal truth to me and in that moment reveal to me that such intentionality existed beyond myself. It brought tears to my eyes, I laughed at the joy of it all.
At the time I was certain it was God, as time has passed I feel it might have been the universe itself, aliens, demons. Recently I think of it as maybe an artifact of myself as my post singularity self relives a simulation of its own life, the most meaningful simulation it could create.
Anyway. I've never experienced anything like it, 25 years later I'm still convinced there is only one possible reality, that God does not play dice with the universe.
I was walking back through my towns streets from my dealers house where I'd picked up 50 tabs of acid when it happened. I was for all intents and purposes, stone cold sober.
Police were approaching on the pavement and I resolved to look normal as I figured they had nothing on me, they quizzed who I was and apologised saying I looked like someone they were after. I'm 6'6 so that's fucking unlikely, but maybe they were watching the dealers place and wanted to build up info, who knows.
I mention this only to impart that I was not in a normal state of mind at the time. It was dusk and the streets were dark but the sky was still light, obscured by the terraced housing. I carried on my way relieved and several steps later had a vision that almost caused me to stumble. It was nothing revelatory, just a flash of grey/pink gradated light and a black wedge/line curved across it. As surprising as it was, it lasted only a fraction of a second and I put it down to a perceptual disturbance like a rush to head or the like, an experience, being tall with low blood pressure that I'm familiar with.
It was ten minutes later that I was walking across a bridge where the view of the sky was exposed, the wind blew my fringe across my eyes and I flicked my head to put it back in place. The flash of grey/pink light was the sunset, the curved wedge of black was my fringe in front of my eye, the image was identical.
The timing of it, such that I still had full recollection of the unusual first image, and my absolute certainty as to the experience lead me to conclude that I had been shown in no uncertain terms that the universe was entirely fated. That I had been shown a glimpse of my immediate future.
This I reasoned was the best evidence I'd ever had for their being a God, the beaming into my brain of that near future image not only told me the future was as scripted as the past, but that I was supposed to know this. That some intentionality chose to reveal this universal truth to me and in that moment reveal to me that such intentionality existed beyond myself. It brought tears to my eyes, I laughed at the joy of it all.
At the time I was certain it was God, as time has passed I feel it might have been the universe itself, aliens, demons. Recently I think of it as maybe an artifact of myself as my post singularity self relives a simulation of its own life, the most meaningful simulation it could create.
Anyway. I've never experienced anything like it, 25 years later I'm still convinced there is only one possible reality, that God does not play dice with the universe.
