Workplace Types

[fungi]

I wouldn't be using something as pliable as a keyboard to beat my victims

Spoiler

but yes!

 

[Mean Farmer]

The Good Workers are all I keep employed.
All those others are dismissed without fanfare and the rest of us will keep tooling along.
We're not here to play stupid games, now get to work.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/aZ8AADAFW9mVqDYL7

 

[Timetravel_0]

The Bullshitter - Person who is completely full of shit. A know it all who lies and scams every chance they get. Has actually very little knowledge but acts like they know all. Has an answer for everything which is usually completely wrong. Usually the loudest one and most talkative.

 

[fingercuffs]

Exactly mate.

Fucking workmen that rock up to your house but have to have a and a few teas before they can start work for the day

They don’t call it builders tea for nowt.

 

[AZ103]

This thread has character, and the perfect amount of scar face meme

 

[Mike]

I'm the good worker. It fucking sucks lol. My job is mostly lazy workers with a few complainers thrown in.

 

[Big Tuppy Hole]

The constant Pisser/shitter - spends large parts of the day in the toilet.

 

[ShinkanPo]

You put someone in the workplace and they take on a different personality. Most people are a combination of different types but feel free to add.


Good Worker - intelligent, hard working, team player, helpful, reliable. Very rare

Lazy Worker - Does not like to work. Will work harder at getting out of work than actually working. May not even try to hide laziness since that would require effort.

Ass kisser - Very shitty at actual job. Little knowledge of the job. Spends most of their time talking to the boss and bragging. Is hated by coworkers but loved by management. Is actually effective at moving up and getting raises.

The Late Worker - Always late no matter what.

The Complainer - Constantly complains about everything. Makes it seem like the workplace is Hell itself. Nothing is ever good enough.

The Back Stabber - Nice to your face but feels like the only way to advance is by making everyone seem worse. Tattling on everyone to
the boss behind their backs.

The Gossiper - Talks about everyone behind their backs.

Glory Hound - Tries to take credit for everyone else's work. Tries to put their name on everything. Will only work on highly visible tasks.

I have a combination of the backstabber and the complainer at ny current job I put him in his place by writing a public letter to address his attitude.

He would often complain how worker X is not doing reports properly or that Ms.X does not pass his criteria etc.


Then about two months ago he reported to one of the managers that certain people in our department are negligient.

I don't mind that he reported as it is warranted but latter when he felt that manager did nit take enough action he instead posted his rants on our online bulletin board pasively insulting our coleagues with rethorical question.

I then posted a much more professionaly well writen statement to address him saying that his umprofessional attitude does not help and just make him look cheap.


He has shut up since then.

 

[mb23100]

Fruit thief: the one that takes all the good fruit out of the fruit medley in the cafeteria (grapes strawberries raspberries bananas) while leaving behind only the honeydew and cantaloupe. Throws half of it away.

 

[Cid]

The talker: Generally a woman over 50 years of age who is not in a management position but will still add an extra 1/4th to the length of any meeting with questions and pointless stories of little relevance that goes no where. Can exceed 3/4 more time if two or more.

 

[Cid]

 

[Timetravel_0]

The Paranoid Worker - Thinks every move is constantly being watched by the cameras. Won't look at Youtube because they think all internet activity is being actively monitored (I know it's being constantly logged but not monitored unless something gets flagged). They're usually paranoid because they are pulling some sort of shady shit.


The By The Book Worker - Does everything by the book. Will not try to reason or think through situations since they only want to be told what and how to do things. Often frustrating because they will not improve or look for more efficient ways since they are stuck doing it one way and one way only.

 

[Bacco]

I'm an asshole to work with, would hate myself
-Iron contract, so don't even need kiss asses
-Late as rule
-Seagal level counters if you try drop shitty job on me, some people can't even reach the actual request part
-I've ever something with "higher priority" to do, like remote hit on female coworkers waiting the post lockdown open season
-There first taking big chunk of the praise for shit i contributed like 5%
-Someway huge majority of people chose to ignore all above and like me a lot, wich cause madness in those who don't

 

[Bushpig]

Noah: Knows every single thing there is to know in the universe and has to interrupt every conversation to remind everyone of this.

 

[Cole train]

Im the lazy guy who doesnt care

But everyone expects me to be lazy so they dont care and my laziness doesnt affect their workload