Workplace Types

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Timetravel_0, Nov 12, 2020.

  1. Timetravel_0 Brown Belt

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    You put someone in the workplace and they take on a different personality. Most people are a combination of different types but feel free to add.


    Good Worker - intelligent, hard working, team player, helpful, reliable. Very rare

    Lazy Worker - Does not like to work. Will work harder at getting out of work than actually working. May not even try to hide laziness since that would require effort.

    Ass kisser - Very shitty at actual job. Little knowledge of the job. Spends most of their time talking to the boss and bragging. Is hated by coworkers but loved by management. Is actually effective at moving up and getting raises.

    The Late Worker - Always late no matter what.

    The Complainer - Constantly complains about everything. Makes it seem like the workplace is Hell itself. Nothing is ever good enough.

    The Back Stabber - Nice to your face but feels like the only way to advance is by making everyone seem worse. Tattling on everyone to
    the boss behind their backs.

    The Gossiper - Talks about everyone behind their backs.

    Glory Hound - Tries to take credit for everyone else's work. Tries to put their name on everything. Will only work on highly visible tasks.
     
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  2. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    Me - fucking hates everyone and tries their hardest EVERY SINGLE DAY not to go postal
     
  3. fungi rl

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    <escalate99>
     
  4. Big Tuppy Hole Gold Belt

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    The Quiter - always talking about leaving and how they have a new job but never leave
     
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  5. Red Beard Black Belt

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    I work with so many complainers. It blows me away man. I make really good money, have great benefits, don't have any boss breathing down my neck...yet they complain. We have to do a certain number of years to be eligible to retire and these people do the bare minimum and leave. They will need to force me out the door.
     
  6. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The Negative Nelly - piece of shit that sits in the corner making negative comments about everything & actually hopes all the work goes wrong so they can say 'I knew that was gonna happen, didn't I say that wouldn't work'

    FUCKINGGGGGGGG
    [​IMG]
     
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  7. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The Dirty Shitter - filthy piece of shit that has some really fucked up diet & stinks out the toilet for hours on end with brutal shits

    FUCKINGGGGGGGG
    [​IMG]
     
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  8. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The 4 Year Old - filthy piece of shit that pisses with the toilet seat down and always dribbles on the floor

    FUCKINGGGGGGGG
    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Red Beard Black Belt

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    I'd gladly share an office space with you.

    {<redford}
     
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  10. TsuFred Banned Banned

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    I'm somewhere between good worker and lazy worker.
     
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  11. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The Discreet Monthly Tampax Smuggler - dopey bitch that sits in the corner and makes such a huge fuss about discreetly taking A FUCKING MATTRESS SIZED FANNY PAD OUT OF THEIR FUCKING SUITCASE THAT SHE DRAGS AROUND THE FUCKING OFFICE WITH THEM that it actually draws attention to a very natural thing which pretty much everyone accepts as part of life YOU DOPEY FUCKING WHORE!

    FUCKINGGGGGGGG
    [​IMG]
     
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  12. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    Love you dude
     
  13. Red Beard Black Belt

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    Love you too brother!
    <Oku04>
     
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  14. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The Roll Back Chatty Fucker - another douche that sits in the corner and puts their pen down and clutches their cup of tea to their chest and rolls back their fucking chair to have a nice long chat about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU STUPID LAZY SCUM CHUCKING SHITBAG OF A HUMAN

    FUCKINGGGGGGGG
    [​IMG]
     
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  15. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The Tea Time Cunts - seriously, fuck off with your making tea every 10 minutes you worthless milk guzzling morons

    FUCKINGGGGGGGG
    [​IMG]
     
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  16. mooseman17 Black Belt

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    I used to work on skid row for years, and I would regularly find needles in the STAFF washroom. Amongst tons of other stupid shit you’d endure when your bosses are recovering addicts/still have the addict way of thinking or currently on methadone.

    Working in a standard office environment is so tame compared to that, that I rarely blink when I deal with standard office BS. Although I don’t put up with people half assing their job and haven’t always dealt with things the HR friendly way, because apparently I now have to go through 90 fucking steps to fire people for stealing or sleeping on the job.
     
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  17. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The Stank Hoe - Male or female, mouth full of bacteria, pits like a hippos arsehole, clothes stinking of frytex fat and bacon

    FUCKINGGGGGGGG
    [​IMG]
     
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  18. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The Irish One - that's my wife man, leave her alone
     
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  19. Red Beard Black Belt

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    The Funny story guy: This son of a bitch throws the expectation out there that they have a funny story to tell. When they begin telling it, you quickly realize they can't tell stories and their sense of humor is so bad, you can't even make your face look normal while they tell it. They end the story with a version of, "I guess you had to be there" as they laugh awkwardly through the story. They do this 5 to 7 times a shift. Never fucking learn their lesson or improve their story-telling prowess.

    [​IMG]
     
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  20. HughPhug Plug Tunin'

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    The Finger Licker - filthy piece of shit that sits in the corner gobbing on their fucking fingers so they can turn a page, disgusting you dirty heatens

    FUCKINGGGGGGGG
    [​IMG]
     
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