Workplace Types

[Prefect]

Almost all workplace problems stem from bad leadership and management.

 

[Kaybee]

The Tea Time Cunts - seriously, fuck off with your making tea every 10 minutes you worthless milk guzzling morons

Spoiler

 

[HUGHPHUG]

The Funny story guy: This son of a bitch throws the expectation out there that they have a funny story to tell. When they begin telling it, you quickly realize they can't tell stories and their sense of humor is so bad, you can't even make your face look normal while they tell it. They end the story with a version of, "I guess you had to be there" as they laugh awkwardly through the story. They do this 5 to 7 times a shift. Never fucking learn their lesson or improve their story-tellikg prowess.

Spoiler

I used to have one that would come over and lean on the radiator behind me, clasping their cup, and go into great details about their dog walk the previous night - for 20 minutes

Seriously man...

 

[THE Red Beard]

I used to have one that would come over and lean on the radiator behind me, clasping their cup, and go into great details about their dog walk the previous night - for 20 minutes

Seriously man...

I have one that used to share stories of God working in "hilarious" ways in their lives. I'm talking stories about losing the remote controller and finding it in the fridge type shit.

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Are they moving still???

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Oh the EMTs are here???

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[HUGHPHUG]

The Pricks That Don't Get Working Hours - Your working hours are 9 to 5, so be in work, WORKING, at 9am, not rock up at 8.59 and rush over to your computer to turn it on, then make yourself tea & breakfast and have a chat and MAYBE sit down at 9.30. And it means at 5pm you can shut shit down, not start winding down and washing up at 4.30 & changes into your shitty cheap gym gear so you can go and do your spin class you fat lazy whore

 

[HUGHPHUG]

I have one that used to share stories of God working in "hilarious" ways in their lives. I'm talking stories about losing the remote controller and finding it in the fridge type shit.

Spoiler

Are they moving still???

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Oh the EMTs are here???

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What makes them think that just because we happen to work in the same vicinity as them that we give a shit about the most mundane things that happen in their non existent life.

Don't get me started about people that talk about traffic eeeeeevery single fucking day

 

[THE Red Beard]

The Pricks That Don't Get Working Hours - Your working hours are 9 to 5, so be in work, WORKING, at 9am, not rock up at 8.59 and rush over to your computer to turn it on, then make yourself tea & breakfast and have a chat and MAYBE sit down at 9.30. And it means at 5pm you can shut shit down, not start winding down and washing up at 4.30 & changes into your shitty cheap gym gear so you can go and do your spin class you fat lazy whore

This one hits hard. My office window faces the compound and the amount of 8-4 people I see walking down the compound at 3:20 would make you

 

[HUGHPHUG]

This one hits hard. My office window faces the compound and the amount of 8-4 people I see walking down the compound at 3:20 would make you

I blame this year, I need to get out more

 

[Goonerview]

The Tea Time Cunts - seriously, fuck off with your making tea every 10 minutes you worthless milk guzzling morons

Spoiler

FUCKINGGGGGGGG

Sounds like you work in England.

Tea-break every half an hour!

 

[Kaybee]

People that talk very loud when on the phone for work purposes and constantly repeat "whimsical" catchphrases like "just another day in paradise" "working hard or hardly working?" etc. 50 times a day and chuckle afterwards every single time.



People that legit can't stay off their phone for more than 2 seconds (more props if it is a mobile game with silent mode turned off)



People that blast their shitty music in an open office and need to be told regularly that headphones exist

 

[THE Red Beard]

I blame this year, I need to get out more

I've lived almost exactly the same during the pandemic. What's that say about me???

 

[THE Red Beard]

People that talk very loud when on the phone for work purposes and constantly repeat "whimsical" catchphrases like "just another day in paradise" "working hard or hardly working?" etc. 50 times a day and chuckle afterwards every single time.



People that legit can't stay off their phone for more than 2 seconds (more props if it is a mobile game with silent mode turned off)



People that blast their shitty music in an open office and need to be told regularly that headphones exist

Them: "How you doing Red?"

Me: "I can't complain."

Them: "No one would care if you did."

Me:

Every day I've ever worked...

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Sounds like you work in England.

Tea-break every half an hour!

Exactly mate.

Fucking workmen that rock up to your house but have to have a and a few teas before they can start work for the day

 

[HUGHPHUG]

Exactly mate.

Fucking workmen that rock up to your house but have to have a and a few teas before they can start work for the day

forgot we can't say s on here, can't we get an Englishman filter to say s if we mean cigarettes?

 

[Goonerview]

Exactly mate.

Fucking workmen that rock up to your house but have to have a and a few teas before they can start work for the day

I remember when I was younger, we had people decorating my house, new wallpaper etc.

I made a lot of cups of tea that day!

 

[fungi]

@HughPhug, is this you, bro?

 

[moreorless87]

Almost all workplace problems stem from bad leadership and management.

The reality is if you offer shitty jobs with bad wages, little benefits and not much security don't expect your workforce to be very motivated.

Honestly working in those environments the dumbest position is those who actually have loyalty to the company, who buy the PR bullshit that their looking out for them and really believe there going to move up the ranks and have good job security and arent planning for the reality that none of that is true.

Thats often not the fault of the direct managers of course but the employment environment as a whole and higher ups in the company.

 

[Eiffel-sixtyFight]

So my line manager has worked at her job for like 16 years.

But her line manager has changed multiple times.

From what I've observed she kisses each ones ass from their first day. Full on following them like a lost puppy!

It don't understand how certain people can be like this at work. The head of our department will typically be younger than her and only hold the position for a year it two before moving on.

I have more self respect than to do this. Difference between being professional and being someone's lacky.

 

[HUGHPHUG]

@HughPhug, is this you, bro?

I wouldn't be using something as pliable as a keyboard to beat my victims

Spoiler

but yes!

 

[plataoplombo]

Used to work with this guy that looked exactly like Milton from office space. Would spend all day looking at cat pictures and would have rage fits whenever he'd have to do any work. People were legit worried he'd shoot up the place. He was also a supposedly big time "Christian".