Why does every guy talk about how bad marriage is?

[TheMaster]

If my wife and I got divorced today, I could collect alimony from her since she makes $30k more a year than I do. But I would never ask that from her. I still make good money.


But maybe that's the difference between men and women and why it ends up being a raw deal for a lot of men. It's all in the attitude

I have what may seem an unusual question....not a judgement but you say you're married, yet I see a new AV from you every other week of some womans ass posted like a randy 17 yr old (unless their all of your wife?)



I thought the idea was to limit and channel your energy mainly just to her which was one of the aims of marriage on the sexual desire side

 

[MrShady]

I think marriage is similar to being a gambler (ie. Sports betting, poker, stocks, etc.)

is it a good idea for many? Probably not. Will most people flirt and dabble with the idea of it? Sure. They'll have a few good months/years before the "house" always wins and leaves you left in the red.

Is it possible to be one of the lucky few who can make it work long term? Definitely.

The key is being equipped with the right tools and using your brain rather than heart in the longevity aspect of it.

 

[chardog]

I think you can do more. Are you aware of every single kink she has? Have you tried to roleplay those specific scenarios that she has the hots for? Have you consulted a therapist about your lack of sex?


Not really. Not sure what you're referring to here.



I'm not gonna force you to befriend your wife's friends and family. That's on you. I'm just offering advice that will help most guys in the U.S. succeed in their relationships. If the shit hits the fan in your relationship, just don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm aware of my wifes kinks
I dont lack sex, I'm just saying that if a marriage starts getting sex craved, it's doomed. From what I've seen, therapists may offer short term help but wont save your marriage.

see law taking guy's post on bj's, to me, that's mind boggling that it can slip for 8 years without much afterthought.

does your marriage councellor know how to solve that issue, does he/she even acknowledge that's a problem? This is not something that is often taught

 

[Damo321]

This is so true. In October I mentioned to my wife that she hadn’t given me a blowjob since March of 2016. She got upset for some reason, asked why I didn’t say anything earlier. I didn’t think she would somehow need reminding that she hadn’t had a penis in her mouth for seven and a half years at that point, but there you have it I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Spoiler

and for what it’s worth pointing it out didn’t really change anything, though she did give me one the day before New Year’s Eve. It’s my birthday in two weeks so I’m going to give her strong hints that another one for my birthday would be appreciated

8 years with no blowjobs…. tell us that you at least threw it up her ass instead… just so we don’t feel so bad for you?

 

[Natural Order]

Monogamy is not a biological instinct for men, typically speaking. That's a social conditioning.

 

[Natural Order]

This is so true. In October I mentioned to my wife that she hadn’t given me a blowjob since March of 2016. She got upset for some reason, asked why I didn’t say anything earlier. I didn’t think she would somehow need reminding that she hadn’t had a penis in her mouth for seven and a half years at that point, but there you have it I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Spoiler

and for what it’s worth pointing it out didn’t really change anything, though she did give me one the day before New Year’s Eve. It’s my birthday in two weeks so I’m going to give her strong hints that another one for my birthday would be appreciated

The more concerning issue here my friend is why over the course of those seven years, you failed to tell her it was time to do so!

 

[My name is]

The only thing constant is change and all it takes is a couple small changes to begin that downhill descent into unhappiness. Then you double that with a partner it makes the lifetime together pretty difficult. I'm 4 years into marriage and all is good so far

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

The more concerning issue here my friend is why over the course of those seven years, you failed to tell her it was time to do so!

Because I resigned myself to the fact this was just married life. You know, wedded bliss and all that.

Spoiler

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

I thought that was because guys are so busy fucking their ladies in the ass, there isn't any time for BJs.

You certainly aren't married!

 

[ThaiSexPills]

After you get married and have kids you will start losing your hair, freedom and money. Apart from that it's perfect!

Hairline is solid into my mid-30’s. If it fails, I’m going to Turkey. Fuck being bald.

 

[ThaiSexPills]

This is my girls engagement ring

Damn bro, save some pussy for the rest of us. I thought 2 carat was pretty solid. I’m going to have to lie about how much I paid though or she’s going to kill me

 

[IDGETKTFO]

I been married for over 20+ years. I gave my wife a ring way better then that. Most women like a ring with mutiple diamonds rather then just a bland as ring with one larger diamond.
The ring i got my wife was around 5 grand. Its not some baller type shit, but if my wife expected something better, I would have kicked her to the curb, i aight dating no gold digger. And thats why im married for almost 25 years.

 

[HARRISON_3]

RIP to all those involved

 

[ThaiSexPills]

I been married for over 20+ years. I gave my wife a ring way better then that. Most women like a ring with mutiple diamonds rather then just a bland as ring with one larger diamond.
The ring i got my wife was around 5 grand. It’s not some baller type shit, but if my wife expected something better, I would have kicked her to the curb, i aight dating no gold digger. And thats why im married for almost 25 years.

It’s over 2 carats and a VVS stone. The diamond alone cost a lot more than 5 grand. You say bland, I say simple and timeless. Special stones don’t need a bunch of other little stones to make them look good, it speaks for itself and doesn’t need no filler.

I know my girlfriends’ style. She’s plain. I bet she likes it. I just have big hands lol. I swear it’s bigger in person bro, it’s just the angle.. I’m used to saying that line

 

[Phlog]

So I think there are a few reasons you hear negative things about marriage.

Partly I think that the discourse re marriage is slightly effected by comedy about it. That I think originates from the power that men give up to the woman in their life. Men want to appear as powerful as possible in a heirachical sense and so they talk down the power that the wife has over them. So instead of saying "sorry lads I can't stay for another pint, I love my wife and she rightly expects me home to help with the kids we co-parent. I might even prefer her company" They say something like"sorry lads, got to go, ball and chain's gonna have my tea ready"

Every emotionally evolved man knows that any power a woman has over them is entirely given.

Then there are those bitter after a breakup and serial divorcées who likely wish to blame others for their failures. The defence of their own ego necessitates them finding the fault was with the other. They are motivated to broadcast their virtue by denegrating either the institution of marriage or women generally.

Then there are those who regret agreeing to share their wealth with their ex wife. Those who don't understand the project of marriage or regret their mistakes on that front and chose to externalise the issue. Or they bought the nonsense about women and men being the same, not taking into account how much different it is for men seeking new relationships post marriage Vs being a single mother. Etc etc

Basically it's a lot of cope.

I have been married now for almost 2 decades, together for near 25 years. She's the best thing to happen to my life, I want to be a better husband for her daily, we're always working on improving the relationship and sex is better now than ever now the kids are older. It takes a necessary hit during those early years imo. Communication is key and it's never finished!

Re the ring price question, that's another conversation. So many problems because people don't talk to each other and are afraid of stating their wants and needs. What you want, what age wants, somewhere in-between.

 

[TheMaster]

So I think there are a few reasons you hear negative things about marriage.

Partly I think that the discourse re marriage is slightly effected by comedy about it. That I think originates from the power that men give up to the woman in their life. Men want to appear as powerful as possible in a heirachical sense and so they talk down the power that the wife has over them. So instead of saying "sorry lads I can't stay for another pint, I love my wife and she rightly expects me home to help with the kids we co-parent. I might even prefer her company" They say something like"sorry lads, got to go, ball and chain's gonna have my tea ready"

Every emotionally evolved man knows that any power a woman has over them is entirely given.

Then there are those bitter after a breakup and serial divorcées who likely wish to blame others for their failures. The defence of their own ego necessitates them finding the fault was with the other. They are motivated to broadcast their virtue by denegrating either the institution of marriage or women generally.

Then there are those who regret agreeing to share their wealth with their ex wife. Those who don't understand the project of marriage or regret their mistakes on that front and chose to externalise the issue. Or they bought the nonsense about women and men being the same, not taking into account how much different it is for men seeking new relationships post marriage Vs being a single mother. Etc etc

Basically it's a lot of cope.

This is a good and mature perspective on the subject.

I have been married now for almost 2 decades, together for near 25 years. She's the best thing to happen to my life.... and sex is better now than ever

However I take major issue with this statement. Its simply cope and reinterpretation "emotional bonding".
There is no way shape or form that banging your 50 year old wifes body is on the same level as when she was 25.
Its one factor why guys who hadn't married yet like myself, can still be enticed by the idea and very real possibility of marrying an emotionally mature mid-late 20's girl now in my 40's.
It is what it is, but if you feel its better now for you than ever before thats great and I am happy this aspect came back for you.

 

[Contempt]

This is so true. In October I mentioned to my wife that she hadn’t given me a blowjob since March of 2016. She got upset for some reason, asked why I didn’t say anything earlier. I didn’t think she would somehow need reminding that she hadn’t had a penis in her mouth for seven and a half years at that point, but there you have it I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Spoiler

and for what it’s worth pointing it out didn’t really change anything, though she did give me one the day before New Year’s Eve. It’s my birthday in two weeks so I’m going to give her strong hints that another one for my birthday would be appreciated

Wow, one blow job in more than eight years... marriage sounds great LOL

 

[TribalDrumz]

Marriage scares the fuck out of me… i love my girl and she asks about when I’m going to propose every other week but I am filled with fear surrounding it. I am scared that she will change or that growth will stop. I have a fear of stagnation in any relationship in my life. I’m also scared of losing my freedom. I don’t cheat and I’m faithful but I need to feel free to travel and work and grow in my personal and business life.

She puts up with A LOT though with me. I have a crazy past and 4 kids (3 mothers and never married). We’ve been together 3 years and she wants that long term stability and to start a family with me.. a part of me feels like I want to give her that but I am also man enough to admit that it scares me. It doesn’t help that I don’t have many examples of what I would consider happy and healthy marriages around me.

4 kids 3 mothers?!

 

[TheNinja]

The biggest change in life is having kids together, not getting married. Once you had kids together you are tied to her forever no matter what.

 

[chardog]

This is a good and mature perspective on the subject.



However I take major issue with this statement. Its simply cope and reinterpretation "emotional bonding".
There is no way shape or form that banging your 50 year old wifes body is on the same level as when she was 25.
Its one factor why guys who hadn't married yet like myself, can still be enticed by the idea and very real possibility of marrying an emotionally mature mid-late 20's girl now in my 40's.
It is what it is, but if you feel its better now for you than ever before thats great and I am happy this aspect came back for you.

is it really coping?

sex with a physical young specimen, I'm sure is great, but an old dog has tricks up their sleeves, they know your deepest desires (and willing to entertain) aside from banging youngins

I imagine it's like overcompensating fat chicks, what they lack in looks they make up in action.

the issue is whether you're having sex at all, probably not the quality. I know this blows away a lot of narrative, but people can learn how to have sex and improve over time.