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https://www.ydr.com/story/news/2018...chad-merrill-james-saylor-homicide/821236002/
When her phone vibrated in the early hours of Saturday morning, Jessica Godden's initial reaction was to ignore it. Her five-month-old son lay on her chest sleeping and she was not about to disturb him.
"I thought, if it's important they'll call me back," Godden said.
She fell asleep. But the calls persisted and she finally rose from her position on the couch to check her phone.
It was 3 a.m. and she sensed something was wrong. The name on her cell phone revealed that it was the mother of her son's father calling. It was then, looking at the phone, that her demeanor and attitude changed — she froze.
She looked at her son, took a deep breath, and returned the call.
"I just knew," Godden said. "I answered and she was crying and I just knew it wasn't good."
With that one phone call, her world changed.
Chad Merrill, the father of her five-month-old son, Layton, had been killed at Red Rose Restaurant and Lounge in Hellam Township. He was shot in the chest after defending a black man who was being called hateful, racial slurs.
Anyone might describe this as their worst fear, but Godden has actually been in this nightmare before. The father of her 9-year-old son, Aden, is also dead, and now she has to start all over again.
"When I found out I was pregnant," Godden said, "I was terrified. I was really, really scared that it was going to happen again."
Eventually though, she said she convinced herself that everything would be OK. That is, until 3 a.m. Saturday.
And while the news of his death has left Godden in a state of shock, she said the way that he died — defending someone else — did not come as a surprise to her.
"He's the kind of the person that would give you the shirt off his back even if it was the last shirt he had," Godden said as she bounced Layton on her knee. She was attempting to soothe the infant who began to fuss beneath her.
That was the kind of person that Chad was, his brother Bobby Merrill said — he wanted everyone to get along. He wanted everyone to be happy.
"It was hard," Godden said, taking a deep breath before speaking again. Layton sat on her lap and gripped her finger as she looked down and smiled at him. "It was hard to even pick him up yesterday."
"I didn't want to cry and stress him out," Godden said, now bouncing her son on her lap. "I didn't want him getting upset, because he can sense when I'm upset."
This is something that has been on Bobby's mind too — how he will help his nephew know his father. Right now he wonders if it will ever not be painful to talk about Chad, but he said he knows he has to.
"He was the best dad," Bobby said. "He would do anything to make this little boy laugh, and I want him to know that. I'll make sure he knows his dad was a hero."
Godden said even though her and Merrill were not in a relationship, they had a friendship, and that was something she will also remember.
She's not sure how she will tell her son that his father is dead. But as her son grows, and begins to ask questions, it's a reality she'll have to face.
"He's going to grow up and not have anyone to call daddy," Godden said, "but we won't let him forget."
Tragic, and so f*cked up. In 2018, we're still dealing with this shit.
When her phone vibrated in the early hours of Saturday morning, Jessica Godden's initial reaction was to ignore it. Her five-month-old son lay on her chest sleeping and she was not about to disturb him.
"I thought, if it's important they'll call me back," Godden said.
She fell asleep. But the calls persisted and she finally rose from her position on the couch to check her phone.
It was 3 a.m. and she sensed something was wrong. The name on her cell phone revealed that it was the mother of her son's father calling. It was then, looking at the phone, that her demeanor and attitude changed — she froze.
She looked at her son, took a deep breath, and returned the call.
"I just knew," Godden said. "I answered and she was crying and I just knew it wasn't good."
With that one phone call, her world changed.
Chad Merrill, the father of her five-month-old son, Layton, had been killed at Red Rose Restaurant and Lounge in Hellam Township. He was shot in the chest after defending a black man who was being called hateful, racial slurs.
Anyone might describe this as their worst fear, but Godden has actually been in this nightmare before. The father of her 9-year-old son, Aden, is also dead, and now she has to start all over again.
"When I found out I was pregnant," Godden said, "I was terrified. I was really, really scared that it was going to happen again."
Eventually though, she said she convinced herself that everything would be OK. That is, until 3 a.m. Saturday.
And while the news of his death has left Godden in a state of shock, she said the way that he died — defending someone else — did not come as a surprise to her.
"He's the kind of the person that would give you the shirt off his back even if it was the last shirt he had," Godden said as she bounced Layton on her knee. She was attempting to soothe the infant who began to fuss beneath her.
That was the kind of person that Chad was, his brother Bobby Merrill said — he wanted everyone to get along. He wanted everyone to be happy.
"It was hard," Godden said, taking a deep breath before speaking again. Layton sat on her lap and gripped her finger as she looked down and smiled at him. "It was hard to even pick him up yesterday."
"I didn't want to cry and stress him out," Godden said, now bouncing her son on her lap. "I didn't want him getting upset, because he can sense when I'm upset."
This is something that has been on Bobby's mind too — how he will help his nephew know his father. Right now he wonders if it will ever not be painful to talk about Chad, but he said he knows he has to.
"He was the best dad," Bobby said. "He would do anything to make this little boy laugh, and I want him to know that. I'll make sure he knows his dad was a hero."
Godden said even though her and Merrill were not in a relationship, they had a friendship, and that was something she will also remember.
She's not sure how she will tell her son that his father is dead. But as her son grows, and begins to ask questions, it's a reality she'll have to face.
"He's going to grow up and not have anyone to call daddy," Godden said, "but we won't let him forget."
Tragic, and so f*cked up. In 2018, we're still dealing with this shit.
