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What to expect from a colonoscopy?

I honestly think it might be 20 years of whey protein abuse.. I have a bit of a dadbod right now, but I plank for 315, and just did 85 decent form incline push ups. I have an unfortunate spare tire from Covid, but I’m not in terrible shape overall.

We’ll see.

What about whole-stack tricep pushdowns?
 
Yes, I might have cancer. It’s possible. Blood and funny shaped poo for months and months. Is what is. We will see.

But if you’ve had one, and are a straight male who hasn’t had anything larger that a fingertip in there, what can I expect? The anesthesia will make me feel trash, because it always fkn does for days, but is my azzhole going to be destroyed etc??

What say you?

You will not literally feel a thing. I had one years ago under similar circumstances (turned out to be slight internal hemorrhoids and the doctor cauterized them then and there).

And afterwards you will not feel any difference down there whatsoever.

Now stop being a baby.
 
You won't remember a thing. Once they wheeled me into the operating room I was out within seconds once they gave me the sleepy drugs.
 
Yes, I might have cancer. It’s possible. Blood and funny shaped poo for months and months. Is what is. We will see.

But if you’ve had one, and are a straight male who hasn’t had anything larger that a fingertip in there, what can I expect? The anesthesia will make me feel trash, because it always fkn does for days, but is my azzhole going to be destroyed etc??

What say you?
For months? When are you going in? I haven't had either but according to my mum and grandma it's a lot better than having a camera shoved down your throat. I would have to have a general anesthetic for that.
 
I had one about 8 years ago or so. You drink that stuff that makes you shit a million times the day before. The day off they will lube up this camera and go deep up in your guts with that looking for anything bad. You're out, won't feel a thing during or after.
 
Well, I think everyone is different when they have a GI examine. For me, I'm out of it for about 24 hours after being knocked out. I will wake up at the hospital in a daze, talking with the nurses and doctor about what just happened. I go home. And next thing I know I wake up the next afternoon. Once I woke up to the sound of ABBA playing in the background, which had me slightly concerned.

My father on the other hand is entirely different. He has his GI examine, wakes up feeling refreshed I believe, and goes out to lunch, where he terrorizes other diners by releasing the air that was pumped into his colon during the examine.

hope your examine goes well and they find out what is wrong. I'd guess an IBD issue like Crohn's or UC.
 
For months? When are you going in? I haven't had either but according to my mum and grandma it's a lot better than having a camera shoved down your throat. I would have to have a general anesthetic for that.
2maro afternoon. And if it’s normal sized there’s blood.. I want it to stop, it does, then it’s thin and sad looking.

We’ll see sweets
 
2maro afternoon. And if it’s normal sized there’s blood.. I want it to stop, it does, then it’s thin and sad looking.

We’ll see sweets
You need to lay off eating so much beetroot. Could it be a fitness protein powder or whatever thing? I really have no hand in this other than hoping your ass doesn't go through too much trauma and you're okay. I know nothing about that part of health so no advice I'm afraid.
 
Yes, I might have cancer. It’s possible. Blood and funny shaped poo for months and months. Is what is. We will see.

But if you’ve had one, and are a straight male who hasn’t had anything larger that a fingertip in there, what can I expect? The anesthesia will make me feel trash, because it always fkn does for days, but is my azzhole going to be destroyed etc??

What say you?

I haven't had one yet but every single person I've talked to that has said the worst part about it is the stuff you drink beforehand that makes you shit your brains out. They all said the actual procedure isn't a big deal.
 
Yes, I might have cancer. It’s possible. Blood and funny shaped poo for months and months. Is what is. We will see.

But if you’ve had one, and are a straight male who hasn’t had anything larger that a fingertip in there, what can I expect? The anesthesia will make me feel trash, because it always fkn does for days, but is my azzhole going to be destroyed etc??

What say you?

Dude my ass is TIGHT. Pretty anal retentive and not into assplay. I’m going to be sore :(

Yeah I don’t get the liquid. I’m
Supposed to take it the night before, but won’t that make me up all night shitting? I don’t want to not sleep all night before going under. Seems weird.

As has been stated, the prep is the worst. Plan some toilet time and a bidet is handy to have. I didn't eat anything the day before. I got a pint of liquid to use to mix up a gallon of the solution. I mixed it with cold water from my refrigerator and kept it refrigerated. The instructions were to drink eight ounces every 15 minutes a total of 6 times. Apparently doctors aren't good at math because that works out to 48 ounces, not 64 so I had two doses left over.

The endoscope they use is much smaller than the turds you pass. They gave me some pills and I was awake for the procedure. There was a monitor that I could watch what the technician saw. I was pissed that because of the pills I wasn't allowed to drive home and they had someone with me until I got in the cab to make sure I didn't.
 
Only thing I will add , make sure you read the laxative instructions and the date of your procedure.

I read of one instance where the guy got the dates wrong , did the laxatives then had to redo it a couple of days later.

Apparently when he phoned up to explain what he'd done and to request new laxatives the nurses couldn't stop laughing and several of them came to see who he was when he was actually in for the procedure...
 
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