- Joined
- Mar 3, 2004
- Messages
- 1,750
- Reaction score
- 3,465
100 name challenge
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Right now one of them, my manager and coach @Pliny Pete is so mad at me I think he is going to have a @Fedorgasm . He’s an @EndlessCritic of mine and currently screaming at me, you dumb @irish_thug , you stupid @Dobymick. I look to my cut man, @DoctorTaco and ask “What am I doing wrong”? He shrugs, smiles, and says “winning I guess”.
So winning this fight for the @Kingz promotion is my most recent mistake, right @befoe that eating a hallucinogenic @fungi , was also probably an @Other mistake, as I thought it would give me a mellow @Zazen @Monkadelic feeling like a @KnightTemplar finding the holy grail but instead has my head buzzing with a high @Tone C note and my skull feels like a @Jar of Flies . But somehow that mushroom has me wanting destroy my opponent like a @World eater.
It feels like only moments ago my walk out song, @RabbitPunch36 by @mixmastermo, finished and the announcer @Andy Capp ‘s voice was booming out my introduction which rang throughout the @MetalGearTrump Arena. “fighting out of the orange corner, representing @PaddyO'malley MMA, fighting out of @filthybliss , Ireland and weighing in at 103lbs, @toasty “ @Darkballs ” Rabbit. Then the ref @Jack V Savage screamed “ @tastaylvr “, which I guess is Russian for fight and it was on.
But I could tell I was in with @AFanNotAFighter not a fighter, he raced across the ring like a @stoned lemur using @Drunken Meat Fist kung fu. This kid had no @Talent at all. He immediately tried to @Lead off with a @rear naked ankle pick which even in a fixed bout I couldn’t allow. He followed that up with some kind of @JudoThrowFiasco which just turned into a giant @Meatspin and somehow ended up with me in full mount. I could beat this kid during a @sleepwalk but when he threw a @Kidney Punch from below, well more like a kidney slap, @Jesus X Christ this kid was no @Lethal striker, I rolled over like I’d been shot and gave him my back.
Does he take the easy @rearnakedchoke win I’ve gif wrapped for him? No he does not, and now I’m pissed. I’m no @650lb Sumo but I had to cut height and weight to make 103 and I’m not a @cottagecheesefan and don’t like @Spam On Rye so eating that stuff for a week before the fight had me already ready to kill @Fuzzybabyducks. So I want to @Phlog this guy a bit before taking the dive and hit him with a @Speedy1 2 and transition to some @LeonardoBjj and by the end of round 1 the crowd is shouting @USA!USA! even though I’m from Ireland.
Now you have to remember I was never a @Starman, but I’m @nonoob, I’m not some @Kowboy On Sherdog who talks a lot of shit but has never @BFoe gotten in the cage once. Sure at 53 I’m past my prime but I’ve had 75 MMA bouts, and at least 50 of those were legit ones. I have a few serious heads mounted on my trophy wall. I tapped @Broke Lester with a flying @plataoplombo which is the first and only tickle submission in UFC history. I bent @Limbo Pete backwards when I filled the room with uppercuts for a TKO. i fought Tito and @Tito Tapped to an inverted @Zer, a move of my own design.
Don't forget, I fought Mark Coleman when @ColemanwastheGOAT and @AWilder finish you will never see, he caught me with an inverted @Ogata with only seconds left in round 5.
Doctor Taco squirts water in my mouth and I spit it out. There are @NoSmilez when I give him my @misterfurious face. “What the fuck is water doing in my water bottle?” I said with @Contempt. Where is my @Corona? “ @idrankyourbeer Doctor T admits, your’re going to have to make due with water.
So I turn to Pliny and wait for his sage wisdom. Please remember that during my bout with Coleman he was caught on mic screaming “you @CantCucktheTuck over and over again during round 1. I wasn’t the only one confused by this as Coleman actually stopped soccer kicking me long enough to say “I’m going to @Osculater wtf your cornerman is talking about.” He then proceeded to soccer kick me until the bell. In the corner before round 2 I turned to Pliny and asked what I could do to get back in the fight and his only reply was “Ya gotta hit him in the @Poon Goon @Grassshoppa The soccer kicking commenced soon after this sage advice was given.
I remind myself to @BreatheSherBro , chant my mantra from @Ezekiel 25:17 @PainIsLIfe , pain is life, pain is life and try to @helax , we’re only through round one and I haven’t incurred the @Wrath of Foamy yet. But @Hellowhosthat I see sitting right next to @LangfordBarrow , my @WINGNUT of @Law Talkin’ Guy who has gotten me out of a @Witchhunt or two, in the front row? None @Other than Slodoban’s enforcers @Whippy McGee , known to use @fingercuffs to collect money and @Bobby Boulders , who gives guys @Strychnine until they go into @Cartiac arrest. So much for carrying this kid like a @stalehotdog. @whocares if it looks bad, it’s time to go down like a @yamahacrasher without a @HeLLMuTT and deal with the @Source of my @Long Dark Blues from a performance like this one.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Right now one of them, my manager and coach @Pliny Pete is so mad at me I think he is going to have a @Fedorgasm . He’s an @EndlessCritic of mine and currently screaming at me, you dumb @irish_thug , you stupid @Dobymick. I look to my cut man, @DoctorTaco and ask “What am I doing wrong”? He shrugs, smiles, and says “winning I guess”.
So winning this fight for the @Kingz promotion is my most recent mistake, right @befoe that eating a hallucinogenic @fungi , was also probably an @Other mistake, as I thought it would give me a mellow @Zazen @Monkadelic feeling like a @KnightTemplar finding the holy grail but instead has my head buzzing with a high @Tone C note and my skull feels like a @Jar of Flies . But somehow that mushroom has me wanting destroy my opponent like a @World eater.
But the biggest mistake of all was clearly agreeing with the @Sinister @SirRealKiller @lowlife Russian gangster @Slobodan “Foamy” @volodya to throw this fight @Versez his oldest son, the with the @Red Beard @Otto! Also known as the @ChosenOne who in the @Natural Order of succession will take over as the head of the @milliniar Crime syndicate that rules the @Milgrim @Swamps section of @KBE6EKCTAH_CCP Russia. If I win it isn’t like the police are likely to @Protectandserve me and I’ll bet I can’t make a @ShadowRun to @Get To Da Choppa in time or get an @UberHere fast enough to avoid certain death.
It feels like only moments ago my walk out song, @RabbitPunch36 by @mixmastermo, finished and the announcer @Andy Capp ‘s voice was booming out my introduction which rang throughout the @MetalGearTrump Arena. “fighting out of the orange corner, representing @PaddyO'malley MMA, fighting out of @filthybliss , Ireland and weighing in at 103lbs, @toasty “ @Darkballs ” Rabbit. Then the ref @Jack V Savage screamed “ @tastaylvr “, which I guess is Russian for fight and it was on.
But I could tell I was in with @AFanNotAFighter not a fighter, he raced across the ring like a @stoned lemur using @Drunken Meat Fist kung fu. This kid had no @Talent at all. He immediately tried to @Lead off with a @rear naked ankle pick which even in a fixed bout I couldn’t allow. He followed that up with some kind of @JudoThrowFiasco which just turned into a giant @Meatspin and somehow ended up with me in full mount. I could beat this kid during a @sleepwalk but when he threw a @Kidney Punch from below, well more like a kidney slap, @Jesus X Christ this kid was no @Lethal striker, I rolled over like I’d been shot and gave him my back.
Does he take the easy @rearnakedchoke win I’ve gif wrapped for him? No he does not, and now I’m pissed. I’m no @650lb Sumo but I had to cut height and weight to make 103 and I’m not a @cottagecheesefan and don’t like @Spam On Rye so eating that stuff for a week before the fight had me already ready to kill @Fuzzybabyducks. So I want to @Phlog this guy a bit before taking the dive and hit him with a @Speedy1 2 and transition to some @LeonardoBjj and by the end of round 1 the crowd is shouting @USA!USA! even though I’m from Ireland.
Now you have to remember I was never a @Starman, but I’m @nonoob, I’m not some @Kowboy On Sherdog who talks a lot of shit but has never @BFoe gotten in the cage once. Sure at 53 I’m past my prime but I’ve had 75 MMA bouts, and at least 50 of those were legit ones. I have a few serious heads mounted on my trophy wall. I tapped @Broke Lester with a flying @plataoplombo which is the first and only tickle submission in UFC history. I bent @Limbo Pete backwards when I filled the room with uppercuts for a TKO. i fought Tito and @Tito Tapped to an inverted @Zer, a move of my own design.
Don't forget, I fought Mark Coleman when @ColemanwastheGOAT and @AWilder finish you will never see, he caught me with an inverted @Ogata with only seconds left in round 5.
Doctor Taco squirts water in my mouth and I spit it out. There are @NoSmilez when I give him my @misterfurious face. “What the fuck is water doing in my water bottle?” I said with @Contempt. Where is my @Corona? “ @idrankyourbeer Doctor T admits, your’re going to have to make due with water.
So I turn to Pliny and wait for his sage wisdom. Please remember that during my bout with Coleman he was caught on mic screaming “you @CantCucktheTuck over and over again during round 1. I wasn’t the only one confused by this as Coleman actually stopped soccer kicking me long enough to say “I’m going to @Osculater wtf your cornerman is talking about.” He then proceeded to soccer kick me until the bell. In the corner before round 2 I turned to Pliny and asked what I could do to get back in the fight and his only reply was “Ya gotta hit him in the @Poon Goon @Grassshoppa The soccer kicking commenced soon after this sage advice was given.
I remind myself to @BreatheSherBro , chant my mantra from @Ezekiel 25:17 @PainIsLIfe , pain is life, pain is life and try to @helax , we’re only through round one and I haven’t incurred the @Wrath of Foamy yet. But @Hellowhosthat I see sitting right next to @LangfordBarrow , my @WINGNUT of @Law Talkin’ Guy who has gotten me out of a @Witchhunt or two, in the front row? None @Other than Slodoban’s enforcers @Whippy McGee , known to use @fingercuffs to collect money and @Bobby Boulders , who gives guys @Strychnine until they go into @Cartiac arrest. So much for carrying this kid like a @stalehotdog. @whocares if it looks bad, it’s time to go down like a @yamahacrasher without a @HeLLMuTT and deal with the @Source of my @Long Dark Blues from a performance like this one.
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