- Joined
- Mar 3, 2004
- Messages
- 1,651
- Reaction score
- 3,103
100 name challenge
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Right now one of them, my manager and coach @Pliny Pete is so mad at me I think he is going to have a @Fedorgasm . He’s an @EndlessCritic of mine and currently screaming at me, you dumb @irish_thug , you stupid @Dobymick. I look to my cut man, @DoctorTaco and ask “What am I doing wrong”? He shrugs, smiles, and says “winning I guess”.
So winning this fight for the @Kingz promotion is my most recent mistake, right @befoe that eating a hallucinogenic @fungi , was also probably a mistake, as I thought it would give me a mellow @Zazen @Monkadelic feeling like a @KnightTemplar finding the holy grail but instead has my head buzzing with a high @Tone C note and my skull feels like a @Jar of Flies . But somehow that mushroom has me wanting destroy my opponent like a @World eater.
It feels like only moments ago the announcer @Andy Capp ‘s voice was booming out my introduction which rang throughout the @MetalGearTrump Arena. “fighting out of the orange corner, representing @PaddyO'malley MMA, fighting out of @filthybliss , Ireland and weighing in at 103lbs, @toasty “ @Darkballs ” Rabbit. Then the ref @Jack V Savage screamed “ @tastaylvr “, which I guess is Russian for fight and it was on.
But I could tell I was in with @AFanNotAFighter not a fighter, he raced across the ring like a @stoned lemur using @Drunken Meat Fist kung fu. This kid had no @Talent at all. He immediately tried to @Lead off with 2 @rearnakeanklepick which even in a fixed bout I couldn’t allow. He followed that up with some kind of @JudoThrowFiasco which just turned into a giant @Meatspin and somehow ended up with me in full mount. I could beat this kid during a @sleepwalk but when he threw a @Kidney Punch from below, well more like a kidney slap, @Jesus X Christ this kid was no @Lethal striker, I rolled over like I’d been shot and gave him my back.
Does he take the easy @reanakedchoke win I’ve gif wrapped for him? No he does not, and now I’m pissed. I’m no @650lb Sumo but I had to cut height and weight to make 103 and I’m not a @cottagecheesefan and don’t like @spamonrye so eating that stuff for a week before the fight had me already ready to kill @Fuzzybabyducks. So I want to @Phlog this guy a bit before taking the dive and hit him with a @Speedy1 2 and transition to some @LeonardoBjj and by the end of round 1 the crowd is shouting @USA!USA! even though I’m from Ireland.
Now you have to remember I was never a @Starman, but I’m @nonoob, I’m not some @Kowboy On Sherdog who talks a lot of shit but has never gotten in the cage once. Sure at 53 I’m past my prime but I’ve had 75 MMA bouts, and at least 50 of those were legit ones. I have a few serious heads mounted on my trophy wall. I tapped @Broke Lester with a @perfect flying @plataoplombo which is the first and only tickle submission in UFC history. I bent @Limbo Pete backwards when I filled the room with uppercuts for a TKO. And I fought Mark Coleman when @ColemanwastheGOAT and @AWilder finish you will never see, he caught me with an inverted @Ogata with only seconds left in round 5.
Doctor Taco squirts water in my mouth and I spit it out. There are @NoSmilez when I give him my @misterfurious face. “What the fuck is water doing in my water bottle?” I said with @Contempt. Where is my @Corona? “@idrankyourbeer Doctor T admits, your’re going to have to make due with water.
So I turn to Pliny and wait for his sage wisdom. Please remember that during my bout with Coleman he was caught on mic screaming “ @CantCucktheTuck over and over again during round 1. I wasn’t the only one confused by this as Coleman actually stopped soccer kicking me long enough to say “I’m going to @Osculater wtf your cornerman is talking about.” He then proceeded to soccer kick me until the bell. In the corner before round 2 I turned to Pliny and asked what I could do to get back in the fight and his only reply was “Ya gotta hit him in the @Poon Goon @Grassshoppa The soccer kicking commenced soon after this sage advice was given.
I remind myself to @BreatheSherBro , chant my mantra from @Ezekiel 25:17 @PainIsLIfe , pain is life, pain is life and try to @helax , we’re only through round one and I haven’t incurred the @Wrath of Foamy yet. But @Hellowhosthat I see sitting right next to @LangfordBarrow , my @WINGNUT of @Law talking guy who has gotten me out of a @Witchhunt or two, in the front row? None @Other than Slodoban’s enforcers @Whippy McGee , known to use @fingercuffs to collect money and @Bobby Boulders , who gives guys @Strychnine until they go into @Cartiac arrest from the weight on their chests. So much for carrying this kid, @whocares if it looks bad, it’s time to go down like a @yamahacrasher without a @HeLLMuTT and deal with the @Source of my @Long Dark Blues from a performance like this one.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Right now one of them, my manager and coach @Pliny Pete is so mad at me I think he is going to have a @Fedorgasm . He’s an @EndlessCritic of mine and currently screaming at me, you dumb @irish_thug , you stupid @Dobymick. I look to my cut man, @DoctorTaco and ask “What am I doing wrong”? He shrugs, smiles, and says “winning I guess”.
So winning this fight for the @Kingz promotion is my most recent mistake, right @befoe that eating a hallucinogenic @fungi , was also probably a mistake, as I thought it would give me a mellow @Zazen @Monkadelic feeling like a @KnightTemplar finding the holy grail but instead has my head buzzing with a high @Tone C note and my skull feels like a @Jar of Flies . But somehow that mushroom has me wanting destroy my opponent like a @World eater.
But the biggest mistake of all was clearly agreeing with the @Sinister @SirRealKiller @lowlife Russian gangster @Slobodan “Foamy” @volodya to throw this fight @Versez his oldest son, the with the @Red Beard @Otto! Also known as the @ChosenOne who in the @Natural Order of succession will take over as the head of the @milliniar Crime syndicate that rules the @Milgrim @Swamps section of Russia. If I win it isn’t like the police are likely to @Protectandserve me and I’ll bet I can’t make a @ShadowRun to @Get To Da Choppa in time or get an @UberHere fast enough to avoid certain death.
It feels like only moments ago the announcer @Andy Capp ‘s voice was booming out my introduction which rang throughout the @MetalGearTrump Arena. “fighting out of the orange corner, representing @PaddyO'malley MMA, fighting out of @filthybliss , Ireland and weighing in at 103lbs, @toasty “ @Darkballs ” Rabbit. Then the ref @Jack V Savage screamed “ @tastaylvr “, which I guess is Russian for fight and it was on.
But I could tell I was in with @AFanNotAFighter not a fighter, he raced across the ring like a @stoned lemur using @Drunken Meat Fist kung fu. This kid had no @Talent at all. He immediately tried to @Lead off with 2 @rearnakeanklepick which even in a fixed bout I couldn’t allow. He followed that up with some kind of @JudoThrowFiasco which just turned into a giant @Meatspin and somehow ended up with me in full mount. I could beat this kid during a @sleepwalk but when he threw a @Kidney Punch from below, well more like a kidney slap, @Jesus X Christ this kid was no @Lethal striker, I rolled over like I’d been shot and gave him my back.
Does he take the easy @reanakedchoke win I’ve gif wrapped for him? No he does not, and now I’m pissed. I’m no @650lb Sumo but I had to cut height and weight to make 103 and I’m not a @cottagecheesefan and don’t like @spamonrye so eating that stuff for a week before the fight had me already ready to kill @Fuzzybabyducks. So I want to @Phlog this guy a bit before taking the dive and hit him with a @Speedy1 2 and transition to some @LeonardoBjj and by the end of round 1 the crowd is shouting @USA!USA! even though I’m from Ireland.
Now you have to remember I was never a @Starman, but I’m @nonoob, I’m not some @Kowboy On Sherdog who talks a lot of shit but has never gotten in the cage once. Sure at 53 I’m past my prime but I’ve had 75 MMA bouts, and at least 50 of those were legit ones. I have a few serious heads mounted on my trophy wall. I tapped @Broke Lester with a @perfect flying @plataoplombo which is the first and only tickle submission in UFC history. I bent @Limbo Pete backwards when I filled the room with uppercuts for a TKO. And I fought Mark Coleman when @ColemanwastheGOAT and @AWilder finish you will never see, he caught me with an inverted @Ogata with only seconds left in round 5.
Doctor Taco squirts water in my mouth and I spit it out. There are @NoSmilez when I give him my @misterfurious face. “What the fuck is water doing in my water bottle?” I said with @Contempt. Where is my @Corona? “@idrankyourbeer Doctor T admits, your’re going to have to make due with water.
So I turn to Pliny and wait for his sage wisdom. Please remember that during my bout with Coleman he was caught on mic screaming “ @CantCucktheTuck over and over again during round 1. I wasn’t the only one confused by this as Coleman actually stopped soccer kicking me long enough to say “I’m going to @Osculater wtf your cornerman is talking about.” He then proceeded to soccer kick me until the bell. In the corner before round 2 I turned to Pliny and asked what I could do to get back in the fight and his only reply was “Ya gotta hit him in the @Poon Goon @Grassshoppa The soccer kicking commenced soon after this sage advice was given.
I remind myself to @BreatheSherBro , chant my mantra from @Ezekiel 25:17 @PainIsLIfe , pain is life, pain is life and try to @helax , we’re only through round one and I haven’t incurred the @Wrath of Foamy yet. But @Hellowhosthat I see sitting right next to @LangfordBarrow , my @WINGNUT of @Law talking guy who has gotten me out of a @Witchhunt or two, in the front row? None @Other than Slodoban’s enforcers @Whippy McGee , known to use @fingercuffs to collect money and @Bobby Boulders , who gives guys @Strychnine until they go into @Cartiac arrest from the weight on their chests. So much for carrying this kid, @whocares if it looks bad, it’s time to go down like a @yamahacrasher without a @HeLLMuTT and deal with the @Source of my @Long Dark Blues from a performance like this one.
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