The Pub - Belph's Battle with Anorexia

Originally Posted by Ethan
Literally the only thing that makes me happy lately is training, and only then when it goes well. Dunno what the fuck to do about that, but it sucks.

As a rule of thumb, it's about your view of "self, future and world". When you like yourself, like the direction your life is going in and think the world is a good place, you are happy. When you don't like yourself, don't like the future and think the world sucks, you are unhappy.

Therefore, to be happy

1) Don't be hard on yourself
2) Don't sit around working on a career or life direction that doesn't actually appeal to you
3) Focus on the positive things in the world

Baddaboom baddabing- happiness. Easy.

Next, Jaunty explains Good and Evil.

I definitely don't like myself, see no future(probably 9-5 wage slavery until I retire broke), and the world is 50/50. It has some great stuff, and some shitty stuff.

I also have no reason to be unhappy, I live in the West FFS. Guessing I'm just a selfish entitled asshole...

Brofist Ethan!
 
I definitely don't like myself, see no future(probably 9-5 wage slavery until I retire broke), and the world is 50/50. It has some great stuff, and some shitty stuff.

I also have no reason to be unhappy, I live in the West FFS. Guessing I'm just a selfish entitled asshole...

Brofist Ethan!

I really like my job and my life is coming together pretty well. Just frustrated for no apparent reason. I need to drink more.
 
A couple times recently, I've had training partners complaining about feeling weak/tired/whatever at the start of the session. Both times I suggested they warm-up, and then see how they felt. They both ended up having good workouts, and one them hit a three rep PR, and then repeated it for sets across.

This has been my experience as well. I don't think I'll ever miss a training session on account of how shit I feel again, without hitting a good warm up and squatting up to a couple plates first.
 
I'd like to add that you should monitor (right word?) your own thoughts. Because how you think adds up to how you feel. If you think "I'm unhappy" it's almost like an affirmation or a selffulfilling prophecy. So be aware of how you think and get rid of the bad thoughts.

This is very true. Some psychologists and clinicians think that depression and other neuroses come from entrenched and dysfunctional "habits of thought", or interactions between thought and behaviour. One particular theory along those lines that I believe in is "attributional style". It's the theory that depressive people tend to attribute successes to things that are external and temporary (e.g. "I passed that exam because it was a lax examiner that year") and failures to things that are internal and permanent (e.g. "I got dumped because I am worthless"). If that style of thinking becomes entrenched, you become more likely to be depressed.

I have no reason to be unhappy, which for some reason pisses me off more.

This is *very* common: people who are unhappy thinking that they have no right to be unhappy, and this making them even less happy.

IMO, part of it comes from thinking that happiness level should be like a thermometer or something, which is based on your well-being, calibrated to a global scale. I don't quite know what happiness is, but whatever it is, it is not like that. And who gives a fuck if it *should* be like that. You have to deal with the actual mechanisms that compose you, not madeup ones.

There probably *are* some sort of judgement/rational processes involved, but what is very clear is that they can become broken. As I mentioned above, weird and dysfunctional ways of thinking become entrenched. And so the happiness level that your mechanism is supposed to produce gets nerfed.

If you think along these lines (which is how cognitive psychologists and a large school of treatment professionals think), then you can think of depression and other neurosis as a systemic dysfunction, not unlike a muscular imbalance or a tracking failure. Then you don't have to beat yourself up for feeling bad. You don't feel bad because you're entitled, you feel bad because you've slightly screwed the evaluating and judging mechanisms that underlie your normal mood and levels of happiness.

I also have no reason to be unhappy, I live in the West FFS.

See above.
 
This is very true. Some psychologists and clinicians think that depression and other neuroses come from entrenched and dysfunctional "habits of thought", or interactions between thought and behaviour. One particular theory along those lines that I believe in is "attributional style". It's the theory that depressive people tend to attribute successes to things that are external and temporary (e.g. "I passed that exam because it was a lax examiner that year") and failures to things that are internal and permanent (e.g. "I got dumped because I am worthless"). If that style of thinking becomes entrenched, you become more likely to be depressed.



This is *very* common: people who are unhappy thinking that they have no right to be unhappy, and this making them even less happy.

IMO, part of it comes from thinking that happiness level should be like a thermometer or something, which is based on your well-being, calibrated to a global scale. I don't quite know what happiness is, but whatever it is, it is not like that. And who gives a fuck if it *should* be like that. You have to deal with the actual mechanisms that compose you, not madeup ones.

There probably *are* some sort of judgement/rational processes involved, but what is very clear is that they can become broken. As I mentioned above, weird and dysfunctional ways of thinking become entrenched. And so the happiness level that your mechanism is supposed to produce gets nerfed.

If you think along these lines (which is how cognitive psychologists and a large school of treatment professionals think), then you can think of depression and other neurosis as a systemic dysfunction, not unlike a muscular imbalance or a tracking failure. Then you don't have to beat yourself up for feeling bad. You don't feel bad because you're entitled, you feel bad because you've slightly screwed the evaluating and judging mechanisms that underlie your normal mood and levels of happiness.

See above.

This is how Cognitive Behaviour Therapy works, it changes your method of thinking by teaching you how to think and evaluate your own thoughts. I used Mood Gym (https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome) when I was really bad in 2012 and it helped me actually do things. My problem with CBT is that you're aware that you're "tricking" yourself and it feels like you're putting an Elastoplast on a compound fracture.

It's the circular argument - are you unhappy because you're not meeting a self defined set of standards, or are those standards unattainable and inherently flawed? Is the measuring stick wrong, or are you just failing? I think you're more likely to be depressed if you think the latter.

Personally, I have low goals that I'm not attaining, so I tend to think that it's me that is the issue and not my methods of measuring success.
 
This is how Cognitive Behaviour Therapy works, it changes your method of thinking by teaching you how to think and evaluate your own thoughts.

Yeah, CBT is based on those models of neurosis, where it's entrenched dysfunctional patterns of thought and behaviour, and effectively you're trying to unlearn them. I don't really know whether it should matter that you're aware of what you're trying to do while you're doing the "relearning" exercises.
 
I really like my job and my life is coming together pretty well. Just frustrated for no apparent reason. I need to drink more.

I get frustrated when my friends dont feel like going out and drinking (a lot). Then I also get frustrated when Im hungover. Hmm. But the hangover seems to be the lesser of the two evils.
 
@Obscure_Terror:
If you don't mind sharing, what are these goals you think you are not reaching?

I really like my job and my life is coming together pretty well. Just frustrated for no apparent reason. I need to drink more.

Well, there are worse reasons to drink, but with that coming from somebody who just got off a three week bender you should be a little more cautious.
 
Good post Jaunty.

I firmly believe that mindfulness training is an incredibly useful tool for people. It's a bit trendy these days but I think it's a fantastic tool for getting to know your own mind. I was introduced to meditation via Buddhism but you can learn it on its own. As Jaunty commented, you can often get caught in habits of thought and meditation can help you learn how to drop the "story" that you believe and look at the actual facts of a situation. We often get caught up in thinking about how things should be or what we should be doing or should have done and end up living in the past or the future. Mindfulness and meditation can help you get more in touch with how things actually are in the present without all of the added meaning that we tend to add to things.

I believe some of the ideas are similar to narrative therapy but I'm the furthest thing from an expert on that sorta thing.
 
@Obscure_Terror:
If you don't mind sharing, what are these goals you think you are not reaching?

Pretty standard stuff I would say, I've been having a mid life crisis since I was 25.

Not strong, not lean, can't get laid, no skills to make a career that frees me from the 9-5, broke, not training enough jiu jitsu. Basically can't see a way to have a decent life, just a safe one where I work during the day at a job I don't care about, train in the evening and go on holiday once a year. I'd rather be broke and a bum than be normal, but I still won't be a success. Too old to win world titles in Bjj and make money from things I enjoy.
 
This has been my experience as well. I don't think I'll ever miss a training session on account of how shit I feel again, without hitting a good warm up and squatting up to a couple plates first.

And even if after warming up, you still feel bad, at least you still did something, which is so much better than doing nothing.
 
I actually think my best performances in everything I've ever done athletically have come when I felt shitty and sick. Not flu-like sickness, but just generally head cold/feeling shitty.
 
Also concerning the whole depression thing. I suggest you seek help. Sometimes you may actually need medication for awhile. Don't buy into that whole "antidepressants are horrible and a conspiricy" just because they are over-prescribed. I am pulling these numbers out of my ass because I can't remember them exactly, but their pretty close I think. About 35% of people respond to meds, and about the same proportion respond to CBT, but when combined, it's is over a 75% success rate.

I know cuz I've been suffering from depression badly since middle school. The only reason I got help was because I was essentially backed into a corner. I was put on sertraline and mirtazapine, while also going to therapy 3 times a week. I was also going to chemical dependency groups since I was a functional drunk and druggie. But it worked wonders after a few months. If I would have gone to therapy by itself, I would have thought it was retarded. But the meds put me into a state of mind where I could finally see the light for once, and then therapy took care of the rest.

I honestly can say that getting professional help has been the best decision of my entire life. I haven't been back to the therapist for 3 months and I still to this day can't even imagine viewing life as anything but beautiful.

I really recommend you to get help, because those are not healthy thoughts.
 
Also concerning the whole depression thing. I suggest you seek help. Sometimes you may actually need medication for awhile. Don't buy into that whole "antidepressants are horrible and a conspiricy" just because they are over-prescribed. I am pulling these numbers out of my ass because I can't remember them exactly, but their pretty close I think. About 35% of people respond to meds, and about the same proportion respond to CBT, but when combined, it's is over a 75% success rate.

I know cuz I've been suffering from depression badly since middle school. The only reason I got help was because I was essentially backed into a corner. I was put on sertraline and mirtazapine, while also going to therapy 3 times a week. I was also going to chemical dependency groups since I was a functional drunk and druggie. But it worked wonders after a few months. If I would have gone to therapy by itself, I would have thought it was retarded. But the meds put me into a state of mind where I could finally see the light for once, and then therapy took care of the rest.

I honestly can say that getting professional help has been the best decision of my entire life. I haven't been back to the therapist for 3 months and I still to this day can't even imagine viewing life as anything but beautiful.

I really recommend you to get help, because those are not healthy thoughts.

Thanks a lot for your input, dude.

I am definitely going to go see someone next week. It's taken me a long time to develop a reasonable, educated view on mental health, and it still bothers me somewhat to admit I need help there, but I'm getting there.
 
Hey man, I've got a sure fire cure for depression.
 
Thanks a lot for your input, dude.

I am definitely going to go see someone next week. It's taken me a long time to develop a reasonable, educated view on mental health, and it still bothers me somewhat to admit I need help there, but I'm getting there.

No problem. It's like one of those things I feel compelled to speak for now that I went through it. But I know what you mean. I still feel like I look down on others with the same problem since I grew up thinking it was something you could just "snap out of." Even now, no one knows I had any of these problems besides my family and one of my closest friends, who I just told last week since he has some minor similar issues.

But like I said, it worked wonders for me to get help. I don't know where I would be still if I wasn't by chance forced to admit my problems like i was. But I like to think that real clinical depression is not when you feel bad in situations where a human should feel bad, but when you feel bad even when you should feel good. I think you're only one year younger than me, and that is why I even recommend you getting help more strongly. I am so happy I got shit taken care of now. I saw so many people who were in their 50s and up who had a shit load amount problems because they allowed all their issues to compound over the years.
 
Reggae cover band at the bar tonight. Efffin a cotton, effffin aaa.
 
No problem. It's like one of those things I feel compelled to speak for now that I went through it. But I know what you mean. I still feel like I look down on others with the same problem since I grew up thinking it was something you could just "snap out of." Even now, no one knows I had any of these problems besides my family and one of my closest friends, who I just told last week since he has some minor similar issues.

But like I said, it worked wonders for me to get help. I don't know where I would be still if I wasn't by chance forced to admit my problems like i was. But I like to think that real clinical depression is not when you feel bad in situations where a human should feel bad, but when you feel bad even when you should feel good. I think you're only one year younger than me, and that is why I even recommend you getting help more strongly. I am so happy I got shit taken care of now. I saw so many people who were in their 50s and up who had a shit load amount problems because they allowed all their issues to compound over the years.

I'm 22.

Basically reading your post convinced me to see my doctor as soon as possible. August 6th is my appointment. Hopefully she has some answers for me.

Life really is good, I just can't see it right now and I don't know why.
 
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