Strange things your kids have said

Y'all should read demon haunted world by Carl sagan
 
I was at some amateur fights last weekend and some guy had fought with the nickname "Bad Company." My team-mate came in and destroyed him and a little girl nearby says, "Why do they call him 'Bad'? He's not so 'bad.' " The way she said it was just hilarious.
 
AncientEnemy said:
Y'all should read demon haunted world by Carl sagan
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I've got beef w/ Sagan. By that I don't mean we co-own a cow together. Smart guy. I just have issues w/ the way I feel he has inappropriate represented and criminalized many things as if there was a vendetta that existed where there never was one.
 
Lol, some of these are really funny.
 
Not a funny one, but my 5 at-the-time girl says to me out of nowhere, "Daddy, I want to be free like Spirit Horse. Humans are all penned up." That fucked me right the hell up. But I got back at her the next week by telling her there was no God.
 
aldeniro78 said:
Think that's pretty normal. I've heard of young kids saying they're gonna marry siblings or cousins. Maybe it's because they're so close to them.

Driving down the road one day, and my 8 year old daughter looked down her shirt and said "daddy, I think I'm getting boobs" as nonchalantly as could be.

I almost ran off the road and then changed the subject.
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LOL...:icon_lol:
 
Cipote said:
Not something they said, but wrote

A few years back I was working as an aide with 4th graders and the kids were writing letters to Santa. One kid suffered from autism and accidentally wrote "Dear Satan"

I had a good laugh with the teacher
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Some of the stuff teachers get is bananas. My wife teaches first grade and one of her students wrote a short story on how to ride a bike. Unfortunately, the spelling at 1st grade level is usually terrible and it's very common for young kids to transpose b's and d's... so it turned into a gut-bustingly hilarious story about "How to Ride a Dik". Lots of good stuff about pushing really hard and how if you're riding a dik and you see a car coming you need to turn away and run inside the house really fast.
 
my 9 year old ran out of the bath room naked holding his junk,and says the immortal line,dad is this my brain.with an absolute straight face i replied,not yet son.when he went back to the bathroom i nearly broke something laughing.
 
HuntersCreed said:
Let me tell you something. There's stuff out there that we don't understand. I am not prepared to call it ghosts, or demons, or a stiff breeze. What I will tell you is that there's stuff out there that no one has a complete grasp on. Some may have a better idea than others, but there's stuff out there we don't understand. There's a couple things I cannot stand about skeptics. You cannot point and say that someone hasn't had an experience they claim they have. That's not you're (Using the term 'you're' as a general term. Not talking about you specifically.) place. I also cannot stand people that deny children the right to describe something they don't understand. Just because they're children doesn't mean they should be passed off as telling fantastical stories just to get attention. It burns my britches.
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There's stuff out there guys.
 
Watching a 3 Stooges marathon with my cousin's kid (8 y/o att):

(laughter)
"I don't get it. What do they do?"
It's like trying to explain Seinfeld or something.
 
My cousin's other kid says some hilarious things now that he's learning to talk. He'll randomly say "You killed my father!" for no reason. We're trying to figure out what movie he got that from.
 
My baby sister is a little good two shoes. We were trying to get her to say fuck and she kept saying no...

Baby Sister: No! I'm not gonna say that. That's a bad wooooooord.

Me: It's not a bad word. Just say it.

Baby Sister: Only nasty girls think that word is okay. YOU'RE NASTY!
 
Me "Carbonara, get down stairs and do whatever chores your parents have assigned you for this day."

Carbonara "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is"

Me "Yikes! Where do your parents keep the thorazine?"

Carbonara "Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth"
 
Higus said:
My cousin's other kid says some hilarious things now that he's learning to talk. He'll randomly say "You killed my father!" for no reason. We're trying to figure out what movie he got that from.
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Star Wars maybe?
 
My 4-year old son has one imaginary friend he calls "tiki bones." Tiki bones is an adult, and a nice guy, and made out of bones.

One day he announces that he has another imaginary friend as well. I asked him what this one's name is and he replies, just as loud and proud as can be...

"Fuck!!"

Not in an "oh, fuck" kind of way, in the same way he would have said "Jimmy!!!" if the friends name had been Jimmy.
 
Last year my 4 year old saw a cemetery for the first time (or at least noticed one for the first time) and asked me what it was and I told him. For the next hour he would not stop bugging me until we sent there to see and talk to the dead people. So I took him and explained that they are in the ground and we can't see them. For weeks afterwords he had 100's of follow up questions. Even to this day he wants to go hang out at the cemetery. LOL I get a kick out of my kids!
 
Higus said:
My cousin's other kid says some hilarious things now that he's learning to talk. He'll randomly say "You killed my father!" for no reason. We're trying to figure out what movie he got that from.
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Princess Bride
 
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