Strange things your kids have said

[TheGumby]

I serve tables and bartend here at an Outback Steakhouse, at Christmas time if im serving a family and they have young children I enteract with them and ask em if they are excited for Christmas and Santa and whatnot. This year there was a family they had 2 kids 1 was a girl probably 6 maybe 7. Other kid was at most 4.

Me: So did you ask Santa for, for Christmas?

4 yr old: Santas not real... My sister told me last year that Mom and Dad do it.

Me: ... oh

6 yr old girl: *Laughs seriously evil laugh*

Me: ... so what can I get you guys started out to drink with...


IDK I just thought that was like so messed up the kid was so young and the sadened voice he gave me when telling me Santa wasnt real was like damnnn....

 

[TexasDrugAddict**]

One day my daughter ran up on me and said " I am gonna Kung Fu Panda your butt". So i jumped out my chair and said "i will go Donald Duck on your ass".

She didn't know what ths hell i waz talking bout.

 

[ufcfan4]

I serve tables and bartend here at an Outback Steakhouse, at Christmas time if im serving a family and they have young children I enteract with them and ask em if they are excited for Christmas and Santa and whatnot. This year there was a family they had 2 kids 1 was a girl probably 6 maybe 7. Other kid was at most 4.

Me: So did you ask Santa for, for Christmas?

4 yr old: Santas not real... My sister told me last year that Mom and Dad do it.

Me: ... oh

6 yr old girl: *Laughs seriously evil laugh*

Me: ... so what can I get you guys started out to drink with...


IDK I just thought that was like so messed up the kid was so young and the sadened voice he gave me when telling me Santa wasnt real was like damnnn....

one of my close buddies who is Jewish once told me a few years back that in Hebrew school, the teacher would be like (around Christmastime) "Don't ruin it for the gentiles." lol. and i gotta give props that they didn't. when you think about it, a Jewish kid who is feeling like Kyle on that early ep of South Park could easily raise ruckus to other young kids who believe in Santa and spoil it for them but i never encountered such a thing. props to them.

meanwhile, if you read any of that thread a couple of weeks back that talked about how people learned Santa wasn't real you saw a shitload of evil sibling stories.

 

[weaselGRM]

Are you from West Virgina like those "Buckwild" people?

 

[Ryan Wagner**]

I don't have kids, but my niece went through a phase where she wanted to be a guy or, more accurately, a pre-op transsexual. She would run around screaming "I'm all done with my 'gina, now I have penis!"

When visiting the beach, this same niece pointed to a woman who was clearly not pregnant and said "Look, a pregnant woman!" I stopped her just as she started to run over and ask about the baby.

My oldest nephew is an angel; he cleans up after the others, always follows rules, never ever swears, etc. I was trying to goad him into saying "fuck" for the lulz, but he adamantly refused. Until my niece happened to walk by, over hear us, and say fuck. My nephew retorted, without missing a beat, "fuck off (nieces name)." I nearly peed myself with laughter at the look of horror on his face at what he'd said.

When I was 2 or 3 my sister and her friends would often play with me. For some reason, I eventually got fed up with this and exclaimed "Don't play with me, I'm not a toy!" Which sent them into fits of hysterical laughter, upon which I responded "Don't laugh at me, I'm not a joke!" Surprisingly, this did nothing to quell their laughter.

 

[naked duck]

When my nephew was just a little guy he said something along the lines of "i need to shower, my penis is dirty"

holy shit did we all have a good laugh on that one.

 

[El Chimpo]

hahah ^ i got my youngest nephew to say "sack em" while watching football....but it comes out as "fuck em" .....i cried tears the first time it happened

 

[Slick_36]

hahah ^ i got my youngest nephew to say "sack em" while watching football....but it comes out as "fuck em" .....i cried tears the first time it happened

My little sister did the same thing when she was probably 2 or 3. Was trying to say sticky and came out as shitty. Was pretty funny to hear when it happened.

 

[El Chimpo]

My little sister did the same thing when she was probably 2 or 3. Was trying to say sticky and came out as shitty. Was pretty funny to hear when it happened.

hes the same age...its the funniest thing

 

[odog]

My kid once said that the pool boy comes over every day while I'm at work. Silly kid, we don't even have a pool.

 

[HuntersCreed]

My kid once said that the pool boy comes over every day while I'm at work. Silly kid, we don't even have a pool.

As the resident paranormal guy on Sherdog I always ask questions when my kids talk about speaking to people that don't exist or see things that don't exist I always push the issue. I'm odd like that though.

 

[El Chimpo]

listen to this HC....when i used to babysit my roommates daughter, she told me one day that the scary eyes would make her sad....so i asked her where she saw them, and she pointed to the corner of the room and shook her head

 

[Slick_36]

As the resident paranormal guy on Sherdog I always ask questions when my kids talk about speaking to people that don't exist or see things that don't exist I always push the issue. I'm odd like that though.

Lmao

The joke.

--------------------->

Your head.

 

[Navi16**]

My 3 year old nephew said the N word out loud in public and it shocked me I was embarrassed and pissed and I told him he says that again the Police will take you and lock you up in jail and it scared him, he supposedly learned it in the park from another kid

 

[HuntersCreed]

listen to this HC....when i used to babysit my roommates daughter, she told me one day that the scary eyes would make her sad....so i asked her where she saw them, and she pointed to the corner of the room and shook her head

Let me tell you something. There's stuff out there that we don't understand. I am not prepared to call it ghosts, or demons, or a stiff breeze. What I will tell you is that there's stuff out there that no one has a complete grasp on. Some may have a better idea than others, but there's stuff out there we don't understand. There's a couple things I cannot stand about skeptics. You cannot point and say that someone hasn't had an experience they claim they have. That's not you're (Using the term 'you're' as a general term. Not talking about you specifically.) place. I also cannot stand people that deny children the right to describe something they don't understand. Just because they're children doesn't mean they should be passed off as telling fantastical stories just to get attention. It burns my britches.

 

[HuntersCreed]

Lmao

The joke.

--------------------->

Your head.

I'm spending too much time on the internet. I got got.

 

[El Chimpo]

Let me tell you something. There's stuff out there that we don't understand. I am not prepared to call it ghosts, or demons, or a stiff breeze. What I will tell you is that there's stuff out there that no one has a complete grasp on. Some may have a better idea than others, but there's stuff out there we don't understand. There's a couple things I cannot stand about skeptics. You cannot point and say that someone hasn't had an experience they claim they have. That's not you're (Using the term 'you're' as a general term. Not talking about you specifically.) place. I also cannot stand people that deny children the right to describe something they don't understand. Just because they're children doesn't mean they should be passed off as telling fantastical stories just to get attention. It burns my britches.

im a firm believer that children can see things we cannot ....and i think its because they still have that innocence... like my cousin, when he was 4, he told me how he saw some guy climbing the wall but when i checked there was nothing

 

[BJ@LW&WW]

im a firm believer that children can see things we cannot ....and i think its because they still have that innocence... like my cousin, when he was 4, he told me how he saw some guy climbing the wall but when i checked there was nothing

Do you remember seeing crazy shit when you were a kid?

I don't have kids but I do have nieces and nephews. The nephews are on this kick where they say " hey uncle brad" I say "what?" The they cut a fart and laugh maniacally. I know I am not an adult yet because I still find it funny.

If that's the case, I don't want to ever be an adult and neither should anyone else. This is the epitome of comedic timing.

Not something they said, but wrote

A few years back I was working as an aide with 4th graders and the kids were writing letters to Santa. One kid suffered from autism and accidentally wrote "Dear Satan"

I had a good laugh with the teacher

That was me. It wasn't an accident.

 

[El Chimpo]

yeah i do...i remember i was around 7-8 and i saw this black mist down my hall way...after a few minutes it disappeared into the wall and i disappeared into my mothers room ...lol

 

[Slick_36]

yeah i do...i remember i was around 7-8 and i saw this black mist down my hall way...after a few minutes it disappeared into the wall and i disappeared into my mothers room ...lol

Maybe kids are just more sensitive to the frequencies that give people the delusion of paranormal phenomena?