relationship advice please: how to friendzone nicely?

[trustno1]

but then friendship dies?
did someone do this to you?

If it dies, it dies.

What can I say, when you have one person having romantic feelings to the other and the other doesn't have them - there can't be friendship in this. I've been on both sides. Actually I can't say I was friendzoned, more like rejected. @AmbivalenceKing formulated it very well.

True men don't get friendzoned. They are rejected at worst.

And I think it's respectful to tell straight away you don't like the person or at least cut contacts with him If you don't want to be too direct - that's the honest way, in my eyes. You save the other person the trouble. I totally agree with this guy:

I just ignore the woman until she cuts me off completely. They usually get it soon enough but I'm not trying to make them my friend either lol. Why women keep Platonic friends for their amusement is beyond me. Tbh it's some pretty fucked up shit.

That's some cold shit. Girls know when the guy has feelings, you OP are another example. Girls smell it from miles away. And you can end it for the poor guy, but instead you are playing with his feelings out of some false moral concepts that you don't want to ruin the friendship. Some bitches manipulate and take advantages for themselves. Other have these altruistic intentions, like you probably. But in both cases everything is doomed already, you're just prolonging it. Even the biggest losers get it at some point and they might develop some very negative feelings towards you even If you didn't mean them bad. So, be honest, and tell them straight up or cut contacts with them, like I said in the beginning. That's my view on things.

 

[hbdope]

but then friendship dies?
did someone do this to you?

Look, if you want to keep the 'friendship' you have to realize that the longer you keep the bond as is, the stronger feelings will become. You're literally pussy footing your way so that it's most beneficial to YOUR feelings. Forget about yourself for one God damn second.

 

[Harmonica]

but then friendship dies?
did someone do this to you?

Friendship was never there to begin with. If there is sexual attraction on either side, friendship is just an excuse to be in desired person's vicinity.

 

[faustian]

TS just tell this cuck that you love the BBC

That will either get the job done or completely backfire

 

[Aegon Spengler]

Men don't understand craft. You need blunt force.

If you really want to remain friends with this person:

Ask yourself why? If it's because you enjoy the attention, end the friendship.

If it's because this person does stuff for you, like fix your sink or help you move, he's doing that because of his attraction for you and you need to end the friendship and stop taking advantage

If you want to be this person's friend because you genuinely enjoy their company, think they have interesting things to say and do, and/or are just generally good for a laugh then you should say flat out "I am not interested in you and never will be, I know that hurts to hear, here is a bottle of whiskey to help you get over it, and I will try to hook you up with someone else if you want to stay friends" and then leave the ball in his court.

 

[freaky]

OH SHUT UP!!! You know you like the attention. And now you're bragging about it on the interwebz.

First world female problems, I swear. They act like their life is over cuz someone is crushing over them but they "don't like" them. Then they go for the "bad boy" who don't give a shit about them cuz they don't like that they are not getting the attention so they crave for it.

Just be glad that someone nice is giving you attention. I hope you're a HS chick and not some adult man. I pray for you.

 

[Alphafail]

Friendship was never there to begin with. If there is sexual attraction on either side, friendship is just an excuse to be in desired person's vicinity.

This is so true. I wish I knew better back in the day. I don't want to generalize but in all three times it happened to me, the 'friendship' became toxic as hell once the guy figured he wasn't going to get his way.

 

[Harmonica]

This is so true. I wish I knew better back in the day. I don't want to generalize but in all three times it happened to me, the 'friendship' became toxic as hell once the guy figured he wasn't going to get his way.

Naturally. It is one of the many reasons why true men make their intentions known from the get-go. You don't even have to be strict or formal about the way you do it, either. Just let the girl know you're interested in her and see where you go from there. At worst you'll get rejected, at best you'll end up with her. Why people hesitate to apply this approach is beyond me.

But hey, who am I to talk? My stellar, unshakable confidence always helped me tremendously. When you truly believe you're the chosen one, woman rejecting you makes you feel sorry for her since you're fully aware of what you have to offer as a person and know for a fact she will be missing out on a lot.

 

[frenz]

You don't have a friend in him. You have a dick waiting in the grass for the chance to bang you. All of your male, straight, single friends are the same.

lol shut up

 

[trustno1]

Naturally. It is one of the many reasons why true men make their intentions known from the get-go. You don't even have to be strict or formal about the way you do it, either. Just let the girl know you're interested in her and see where you go from there. At worst you'll get rejected, at best you'll end up with her. Why people hesitate to apply this approach is beyond me.

But hey, who am I to talk? My stellar, unshakable confidence always helped me tremendously. When you truly believe you're the chosen one, woman rejecting you makes you feel sorry for her since you're fully aware of what you have to offer as a person and know for a fact she will be missing out on a lot.

Lack of experience and/or not the best influence from the family they've grown up in, in regards to this area of life. Or they are The Elephant Man.

 

[Harmonica]

Lack of experience and/or not the best influence from the family they've grown up in, in regards to this area of life. Or they are The Elephant Man.

Yup. Confidence is something that's built from the early days.

 

[trustno1]

Yup. Confidence is something that's built from the early days.

It's not something that can't be overcome though, in my opinion. You just have to work on it, facing you fears - acquire knowledge and working on putting it into practice.

 

[Harmonica]

It's not something that can't be overcome though, in my opinion. You just have to work on it, facing you fears - acquire knowledge and working on putting it into practice.

I am of the opinion that it can be overcome, but those who manage to do it will always be far behind those who have been building it from an early age. First years of child's life are decisive.

 

[Robocok]

It's not something that can't be overcome though, in my opinion. You just have to work on it, facing you fears - acquire knowledge and working on putting it into practice.

You're right, you can totally train this shit if you put yourself in uncomfortable situations. It's not easy, but definitely possible.

TS should be honest with this other person next time they make any advance. Stop messing with them if they're really your friend.

 

[FrankNStein]

If you actually like and respect the person than tell them the truth. Don't lie to try and spare their feelings. When people do that they are usually just trying to protect their own image in the other person's mind. It's an ego move, you want to reject them and still have them like you.

 

[freaky]

If you actually like and respect the person than tell them the truth. Don't lie to try and spare their feelings. When people do that they are usually just trying to protect their own image in the other person's mind. It's an ego move, you want to reject them and still have them like you.

Exactly, TS wants them to "CHILL" but obviously still want them to like her forever and ever. I bet TS will be super jealous once the guy stop giving her attention and starts liking some other "bitch"

 

[trustno1]

You're right, you can totally train this shit if you put yourself in uncomfortable situations. It's not easy, but definitely possible.

TS should be honest with this other person next time they make any advance. Stop messing with them if they're really your friend.

Like on the top of my head, since it's a mma forum, Matt Brown started training mma somewhere in his mid 20s, with no previous experience like some of these guys that come from strong wrestling backgrounds and so on. He was a druggie too, actually that's a big reason for him starting training mma, to get rid of his bad habits after overdosing.

Soon after he started training he started getting fights. And I'd say he went really really far - he's one of the world's top fighters and for sure did way better than people that were naturals and had all the experience and training from an early age.

 

[Hatredcopter]

maybe i misjudged mayberry
some nice info and thoughts
mixed with lots of vitriol
which always suggests butthurt
which always suggests insecurity
which is confusing



i thought emotional stability was the forte here
people unashamed to be "men"
ask a simple honest question and get called 'attention seeker'

wow - isn't that akin to 'slut shaming'
and THIS is why we can't be friends perhaps...
i never brought up gender
i'm sure my question applies to many situations

shame on the dicks
(hopefully you know who you are)
but you probably have no insight
and this might explain your real lonliness

 

[Don Quixote]

Just be upfront an honest, there is no good way to bring bad news.

 

[Hatredcopter]

Just be upfront an honest, there is no good way to bring bad news.

so just don't bring it then?